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Chris Ash Meme Contest

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Remember when opposing coaches and announcers would go out of their way to praise Shea as a good coach, how he was building something, the team was young, gotta recruit NJ etc

Sure feels that way again with what we hear each week.
 
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Dear Swedish Football Player,

I am Mr. Chris Ash, an American football coach by profession. I am listed as the future coach to Mr. Anton Oskarsson (a national of your country, whose father used to work with Chevron Oil Exploration Company in Nigeria), herein after shall be referred to as 'my recruit'

On the 10th of October 2018, my recruit and his family members went unreachable. They possibly were involved in a car accident or it is also possible they have lied to me and are just too embarassed to speak with me given how bad our team have played this year.

Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate my recruit or any of his relatives. This has proved unsuccessful. I came to know about you through an enquiry I was making in the internet, and I found out you shared the same country with my recruit and played the same sport, which is why I have decided to contact you, in order to secure all possible talent from your country while I can, because the players and coaches in my own country think I am a poor coach or a lame duck coach. But this is not true.....

Particularly, i was given a contract of US$ 15 Million Dollars, so that can preclude me as the coach of the Rutgers University football team no matter what are results. Thereby, I am issuing you notice that we intend to provide you with a scholarship to attend Rutgers University and help us enable our 6 to 8 year plan to mediocrity.

Since i have been unsuccessful in locating Mr. Oskarsson or his family, I seek your consent to present you as the next recruit to our program from your glorious country. I do this to ensure that the proceeds of this aforementioned contract, valued at US$15 Million Dollars can be paid to me, and then you and me can share the money, on the ratio of 100% for me, and 0% for you.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this business through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me by email and send to me your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about the details of this transaction.

Best regards, Mr. Chris Ash.
 
Greetings from a Wildcat fan here.

You guys get my vote for FUNNIEST FAN BASE EVAR! So much winning in this thread. 6 pages of gold.

Good luck to you (except on Saturday). May you find better days ahead soon. But please let us have Aaron Young. We need a RB.
 
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