Originally posted by kapollock:
Originally posted by BeKnighted:
Perhaps the people who are trusts and estates lawyers might also be willing to provide advice on what you should do before you go to them. The lawyer we worked with had a checklist, more or less. Here are some of the things I remember, but I'm sure there are more:
1. What's going to your family (and who gets what); anything that's going to people who aren't in your family; what's going to charity, which charities and how much.
2. If there are children under 18, who will take care of them if both parents die; who will be responsible for handling the money or other assets they get (maybe not the same people) and for how long.
3. Same question as to who will handle money or other assets going to minors who aren't your children.
4. Provisions for pets and their care.
5. Are there specific objects or categories of things - like your mother's engagement ring or pearl necklace, family photos, or the ugly chair that you promised to your fraternity brother - that need to be mentioned. Even if you've said for years that your daughter gets the pearls, she's not guaranteed to get them unless it's in the will.
6. For advanced medical directives and powers of attorney, what exactly do you want to do? For instance, when does a power of attorney kick in and exactly what power does it give the person who holds it? (BTW, even with the best planning, sometimes the people who get the medical power of attorney have to guess because there can be conflicts, but the more specific you are, the better.)
Oh, and remember to ask people before you make them trustees or executors. Nobody likes that kind of surprise, and the last thing you want is someone turning it down when it's too late for you to do anything about it.
BeKnighted,
To be honest, I normally don't ask my clients to do very much before coming to see me other than to prepare a detailed list of financials and information about immediate family. I often find that if I ask too many questions before the meeting, the great becomes the enemy of the good. In other words, people don't want to come in at all until everything, in their minds, is perfect.
If you meet with someone who specializes in this area, they will have a long sit-down with you and go over all your choices. I ask my clients for their "gut reaction" to many of my questions. For example, who would you want your Executors/Trustees/Guardians to be. Who would be their backups? What happens if your entire family passes in a disaster? Most people honestly don't want to give this a lot of thought.
When I meet with people, I explain the roles each and what their options are. A lot of clients don't know that you can have co-trustees or a corporate trustee. A lot of people don't understand that you can space out when your kids receive their money. Plus, many times what a person thinks they want is not actually want they really need.
After getting a client's gut reaction and creating a default plan, I give them 2 weeks to think about everything in case they wish to tinker with their distribution scheme or who is in charge. I have found this to work far better, and the clients who insist on a list of questions ahead of time are the same ones who never actually come in to sign their paperwork.
Probably the biggest reason to not send out the questions ahead of time is because I never know what to ask until I meet with the client. Often a throwaway comment by a client will lead to a dramatic reveal that utterly changes their entire plan. For example, I met with someone last year who seemed to have a very simple situation. She was unmarried and had no kids. She wanted everything to go to a sister. I happened to ask if the sister would be OK handling the substantial sum of money. Well, it turns out she was receiving Medicaid... you better believe that things like that are important to mention. It can dramatically change the plan.
Also - with the Health Care Powers of Attorney, I'm a big believer in not giving as much specificity. Medicine is constantly changing. It is better to name people you trust who will understand your wishes.