ADVERTISEMENT

Family lost a little RU fan

C

Crimedog2

Junior
Dec 19, 2010
738
110
43
My sister Lauren (DC 05) and her husband Jay (RC 03, RBS 03) suffered a tragic loss with the death of their baby boy, Brendan, last week. Lauren and Jay are Rutgers sweethearts and have been married a little over four years. They are some of the biggest fans out there. Lauren grew up an RU fan, going to 'home' games at Giants Stadium and Theresa Grentz’s and then C. Vivian Stringer’s basketball camps. Jay leads our tailgates and is probably the most optimistic RU fan I know. You may have seen him wearing his red wig around the stadium or leading the ‘R’ ‘U’ chant from the 300 level of the RAC.

I know they planned to raise Brendan as a dedicated RU fan, who would be joining them at future gamedays and one day attending RU like his parents. Now they start the grieving and recovery process as they bury their son this weekend. It is a trying time for them emotionally and financially. They have started a fundraising effort to go towards the remembrance of their son. I have included a link below if anyone is interested. More importantly, I know they read this board and would appreciate any comments or condolences the RU family can offer to them.

Thank you.

http://www.youcaring.com/brendan-noah-harris-396816
 
Thoughts and prayers for your sister and brother in law, cannot imagine their pain and grief. Maybe with time, knowing RU now as an angel on their side will somehow ease their pain.
 
I don't even know what to say. An unimaginable loss. God bless Brendan, I hope Lauren and Jay and the rest of your family can find some peace some day. My deepest condolences.
 
I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what Lauren, Jay, Delaney and your entire family are going through. May you all find a way to carry on.
And thank you for sharing your grief with us. We really have become a community here and while we celebrate good times, there must be some comfort in knowing that the community shares your sorrow.
 
you read stories about old alums passing on.. or kids getting killed in car wrecks before the season starts.. but this sucks worse than about anything. The pic of her holding the baby is tough to look at... Condolences.-sg
 
My condolences go out to you, Lauren &Jay and all that that knew and loved Brendan.
 
My condolences to you and your family. Something tragic that nobody should ever have to go through.
 
I cried when I read this. Having kids myself, I can't imagine what the pain is like, I wouldn't want to find out. My prayers for you and your family. May God grant you peace of mind and the strength to continue.
 
I'm sorry for your loss, Crimedog. As a person that suffered the same type of loss recently, I can attest that it's as horrible as people say it is and not something that is easy to process. My son was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 at his 20 week ultrasound and despite the doctor's lack of support for going through with his birth, we decided to continue with the pregnancy and turned to CHOP for support and help. They were amazing and we were blessed to see our son Alex born via C-section and to be able to spend 20 hours with him before he passed away.

What I would recommend is not to rush into any decisions regarding honoring his memory. After about a month, my wife and I decided on a few things to honor him. First, we made a large donation to both CHOP and the Molly Bear, which was the local Trisomy foundation that helped people deal with the finances of those going through the same situation. Second, any donations we collected in his name that went to the hospital were used to purchase a brick in his name that is part of the new addition at the hospital in Philadelphia that open very soon Lastly, at Xmas time, we bought a small tree that was placed at his burial site. Then, we planted the tree in our yard. All of these things were in addition to the numerous things that my two other children and us did to honor him to help them process this event over the last half year.

It's been about 9 months since Alex died, and it still sucks just as bad now as before. However, you do find ways to channel your grief and sadness. It gets easier to talk about and we've gone to family counseling for a bit to help us get through the hard times. The absolute biggest thing that helped me and my wife was to take time off from work and doing what our counselors said to do to help us deal with this tragedy. They are experts for a reason and it's much better to face this situation head on, IMO.

Good luck and if you ever need any advice or support, please feel free to reach out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: redking and onesimus
I'm not sure what the right thing to post is, but I'm just crying here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Veiox
Rhuarc said:
I'm sorry for your loss, Crimedog. As a person that suffered the same type of loss recently, I can attest that it's as horrible as people say it is and not something that is easy to process. My son was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 at his 20 week ultrasound and despite the doctor's lack of support for going through with his birth, we decided to continue with the pregnancy and turned to CHOP for support and help. They were amazing and we were blessed to see our son Alex born via C-section and to be able to spend 20 hours with him before he passed away.

What I would recommend is not to rush into any decisions regarding honoring his memory. After about a month, my wife and I decided on a few things to honor him. First, we made a large donation to both CHOP and the Molly Bear, which was the local Trisomy foundation that helped people deal with the finances of those going through the same situation. Second, any donations we collected in his name that went to the hospital were used to purchase a brick in his name that is part of the new addition at the hospital in Philadelphia that open very soon Lastly, at Xmas time, we bought a small tree that was placed at his burial site. Then, we planted the tree in our yard. All of these things were in addition to the numerous things that my two other children and us did to honor him to help them process this event over the last half year.

It's been about 9 months since Alex died, and it still sucks just as bad now as before. However, you do find ways to channel your grief and sadness. It gets easier to talk about and we've gone to family counseling for a bit to help us get through the hard times. The absolute biggest thing that helped me and my wife was to take time off from work and doing what our counselors said to do to help us deal with this tragedy. They are experts for a reason and it's much better to face this situation head on, IMO.

Good luck and if you ever need any advice or support, please feel free to reach out.
Click to expand...
This is about as lucid and heartfelt a response as I've ever read on this board. I cannot imagine the hole in the heart that stays with you, but learning to channel it into other ways of living mitigates it a bit. Just a bit. I hope to meet you one day and just say hi, if for no other reason than to thank you for this post and meet a man of depth.

To the OP, I am so sorry for your loss and am speechless at the moment, other than to offer this that just came to my mind. So often many people are inclined to stay away from people who are grieving (not that you would do this), but for anyone reading this, this expression has helped guide me in those moments when I wonder if I should pick the phone up or stop by or text someone who is grieving deeply: "Life is like dancing--you don't have to be good, you just have to be on the floor." We don't need the "right" words, frequently we just need to say hi and let someone know we're thinking about them and it makes a difference for them. For the most part they won't remember our words anyway, but they'll remember that we were there.
 
MikeR0102 said:
I'm not sure what the right thing to post is, but I'm just crying here.
Click to expand...
Me too. God bless Brendan. My cousin went through something similar a few years ago and lost her son after a few days. She now has a 9 month old son and treasures every moment with him. Hopefully when they are ready they will have another child and they will ease the pain.
 
Last edited:
Crimedog2 said:
My sister Lauren (DC 05) and her husband Jay (RC 03, RBS 03) suffered a tragic loss with the death of their baby boy, Brendan, last week. Lauren and Jay are Rutgers sweethearts and have been married a little over four years. They are some of the biggest fans out there. Lauren grew up an RU fan, going to 'home' games at Giants Stadium and Theresa Grentz’s and then C. Vivian Stringer’s basketball camps. Jay leads our tailgates and is probably the most optimistic RU fan I know. You may have seen him wearing his red wig around the stadium or leading the ‘R’ ‘U’ chant from the 300 level of the RAC.

I know they planned to raise Brendan as a dedicated RU fan, who would be joining them at future gamedays and one day attending RU like his parents. Now they start the grieving and recovery process as they bury their son this weekend. It is a trying time for them emotionally and financially. They have started a fundraising effort to go towards the remembrance of their son. I have included a link below if anyone is interested. More importantly, I know they read this board and would appreciate any comments or condolences the RU family can offer to them.

Thank you.

http://www.youcaring.com/brendan-noah-harris-396816
Click to expand...
Crimedog2 said:
My sister Lauren (DC 05) and her husband Jay (RC 03, RBS 03) suffered a tragic loss with the death of their baby boy, Brendan, last week. Lauren and Jay are Rutgers sweethearts and have been married a little over four years. They are some of the biggest fans out there. Lauren grew up an RU fan, going to 'home' games at Giants Stadium and Theresa Grentz’s and then C. Vivian Stringer’s basketball camps. Jay leads our tailgates and is probably the most optimistic RU fan I know. You may have seen him wearing his red wig around the stadium or leading the ‘R’ ‘U’ chant from the 300 level of the RAC.

I know they planned to raise Brendan as a dedicated RU fan, who would be joining them at future gamedays and one day attending RU like his parents. Now they start the grieving and recovery process as they bury their son this weekend. It is a trying time for them emotionally and financially. They have started a fundraising effort to go towards the remembrance of their son. I have included a link below if anyone is interested. More importantly, I know they read this board and would appreciate any comments or condolences the RU family can offer to them.

Thank you.

http://www.youcaring.com/brendan-noah-harris-396816
Click to expand...

My deepest sympathies for you both. I know what it feels like. I will be praying for both of you and you families.
 
So sorry to hear this.

Brendan will be forever in their hearts. God bless.
 
Last edited:
Deepest sympathies and heartfelt condolences on the loss of your nephew. I can only imagine the pain and sorrow your sister and brother-in-law must be feeling and hope they remain strong for each other during this difficult time. RIP Brendan.
 
I have a two year old. We were rear ended in Caldwell a few weeks ago...right behind where his carseat is. God bless modern car seats because we came away with a scratch on his face and nothing else...but for about a week I couldn't shake the idea that my son could have been killed just like that.

Its really every parent's nightmare and I can't imagine the grief. I hope that they can find a measure of peace in honoring his memory.
 
Thank's everyone for such kind support.
Brendan Noah was laid to rest today, with the ministrations of family members, in the Catholic and Jewish traditions.

Precious Brendan Noah, as you know from a better place, you will always be remembered, and loved unto eternity.
Love,
Granpa
 
  • Like
Reactions: Local Shill
Damn. My condolences. So very, very sad. My thoughts go out to all of you that have suffered the loss of a child.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T

Hard to be Lifelong RU Fan...

Replies
31
Views
1K
Rutgers Football
fsg2
F
RU-Esq

The Harper Family

Replies
32
Views
2K
The Round Table
S_Janowski
S_Janowski
G

Illinois Flashbacks

Replies
4
Views
774
Rutgers Football
ScarletDave
ScarletDave
L

RU vs SHU - Comparison

Replies
10
Views
1K
Men's Basketball
seansherm
S
G

OT: "Lost to Rutgers" Bowl tonight, Minny winning at halftime

Replies
15
Views
908
The Round Table
knightfan7
knightfan7
ADVERTISEMENT

Latest posts

ADVERTISEMENT
Top Bottom
Back