How we know Chris Ash is the real deal...

[stuw6]

I've been reviewing tons of game tapes and have found a fool-proof correlation between arm hair and football coaching success.

Exhibit A:

Our savior, and follicle leader.

Exhibit B:

We all hate him, but look at that arm hair. Oh my!

Exhibit C:

Bob Stoops. Has nearly as many arm hairs as victories in Oklahoma.

Exhibit D:

Brian Kelly. Luck of the Irish and the luck of the arm hair Gods.

Exhibit E:

Spurrier nearly rhymes with hairier.


Now for the undeniable truth. The flipside...

Exhibit F:

Derek Dooley. Even newborn babies are jealous of those hairless arms.

Exhibit G:

Gerry Faust. Don't let that age spot fool ya. He's bare as a babies bottom.

Exhibit H:

Kyle Flood. 'Nuff said.

And just cause you are probably wondering...

Exhibit I:

Yeah...He kind of straddles the line between hairy and bare. Much like his coaching performance.

NOW GET BACK TO WORK!

 

[bac2therac]

why are most coaches pudgy like that around the middle

 

[stuw6]

Too many beers and hot dogs.

 

[Bamm Bamm Rubble]

why are most coaches pudgy like that around the middle

They work and eat late

 

[RUchip]

This is great

 

[Machiavelli23]

why are most coaches pudgy like that around the middle

Schiano probably ordered too much Hong Kong Kitchen during his time at RU

 

[MoobyCow]

why are most coaches pudgy like that around the middle

If anything, as a group, they seem a bit slimmer than the average american male.

 

[LC-88]

I've heard that Chuck Norris is afraid of Chris Ash.

 

[stuw6]

For the record, Chuck Norris would make for a great football coach. Just check out those forearms.

 

[_dave_]

This is how RU able to conduct the search so quickly. Weed out the candidates by making them be computer literate just enough to email a photo of their arms and then choose wisely among how much they manscape. Speaking of, did Hobbs have to review other areas of their bodies before presenting his candidate to the BOG?

 

[G- RUnit]

They work and eat late

Opposite of young and hungry?

 

[mildone]

Opposite of young and hungry?

Seems to me that if they don't eat until late, they're hungry all day.

 

[160louis]

LOL funny. Best post of the year

 

[Bagarocks]

Further proof whenever you come on this site you never know what you're going to find. Who would have thought arm hair had a direct link to winning and losing

 

[ScarletCrimson]

shake that ash

 

[stuw6]

Shake that hairy Ash?

 

[mildone]

So I was up half the night worrying about something.

If being hairy is what makes Ash the real deal, what happens if Mrs. Ash decides to make Ash shave his back? Will he lose his mojo? Or is the fact that he would have hair had he not shaved all that's required?

Does the location of the hair matter? Could he shave in some places as long as he's hairy in other places?

Does the hairyness need to be present only during games? Can Ash shave the hair off during the off season so Mrs. Ash doesn't have to feel like she married a gorilla? Or is there some time factor here whereby the hair needs to be present for some period of time prior to any given game?

And then I got to thinking, how important is the hairyness of the assistant coaches? And does hair color matter? Has anybody made Ash aware of the importance of his body hair?

Very troubling questions as we enter the start of the Ash Age.

 

[stuw6]

For what it's worth, I'm a pretty hairy guy and I tend to do really well in Fantasy Football. Not so much in other fantasy sports. Just sayin'.

 

[mildone]

Everybody knows that soccer coaches are not hair-dependent. And swimming and cycling team coaches are actually supposed to be hairless. So it was just assumed that your research findings are only applicable to football coaching.

 

[Blitz8RUCrazy]

we don't if he's the real deal. It's all wishful thinking. Right now for people on this board he can do no wrong. The honeymoon period will be over once we start losing next season. This fanbase is very fickle.

 

[scottydont]

Man, this guy really knows how to work the hairy arm angle. Look out, Alabama!

 

[B0ski]

we don't if he's the real deal. It's all wishful thinking. Right now for people on this board he can do no wrong. The honeymoon period will be over once we start losing next season. This fanbase is very fickle.

If you are not expecting loses next year you are delusional. How about a team that plays hard for 4 quarters and looks like they have a clue. That would be an improvement. How about giving the guy a chance to get a couple of his recruiting classes on the field. No one knows exactly how Ash will do but to think there is not hope based on the way he and his staff seem to go about their business is just ignorance.

 

[zappaa]

If you are not expecting loses next year you are delusional. How about a team that plays hard for 4 quarters and looks like they have a clue. That would be an improvement. How about giving the guy a chance to get a couple of his recruiting classes on the field. No one knows exactly how Ash will do but to think there is not hope based on the way he and his staff seem to go about their business is just ignorance.

I'm perfectly happy to look at my guys sitting with me at the game and saying this team is going to be very good.