The next most likely RU related news to occur is...

[withoutregard]

JH intervenes in the battle between Trump and Rosie O' Donnell, they discover that they have more in common than previously thought, she becomes his running mate and they win the election, and deliver on campaign promises like immigration, except Eastern Europe, Donald still needs that recruiting pipeline left open, in the end Hollywood and Trump money pours into RU athletics as a sign of gratitude, allowing us to win decades of national championships