http://news.yahoo.com/controversial-reason-high-school-cancelled-valedictorian-speech-164016528.html
Anyone have a thought or opinion on this?
Anyone have a thought or opinion on this?
Article on incoming RU student
- Thread starter RU205
- Start date
I support the school's decision.
A valedictory address is supposed to be about many things other than "hey look at me". Public "coming out" is the same as the public display of any other inherently personal moment or milestone - it's attention seeking.
He should work that out with his parents and the rest of his family and friends - not in front of hundreds of people gathered to celebrate their own personal moments.
The school was within its rights to cancel the speech but I don't think they should have. Every HS valedictorian speech one way or another is a "look at me speech" they are just kids. Kids at that age are very self absorbed.
Not really true. The speeches I've seen are typically about the class, generation, etc. Incidentally, sounds like what this speech was, but hard to say without hearing it.
Wonder if he "came out" on his various college application essays or did he save it for a place he is leaving? He claims it was important to him, but he never told his parents? School did the right thing. Leave the showboating for press conferences, if anybody would show up, not a captive audience including your parents.
Normally I would try and find a reason to disagree with your opinion.
But when I read the article , my first thought was : He doesn't have to bring sexual orientation into his speech.
Making a statement about his choice of lifestyle is his right, but there is a time and place to do that and
a valedictory address is not the time and place.
I agree the school was right and the kid should have made the speech, but without saying anything about his being gay.
Last edited:
This situation works out for Rutgers because it spreads the word that Rutgers is the kind of college that valedictorians go to! The whole situation shows us in the kind of light that we wish to be portrayed so I have no problem with it from a Rutgers point of view.
I heard he plans on being one of RU's dozen or so alternative mascots.
They should have allowed him to make the speech. According to the article, his speech wasn't about his sexuality, per se, but was just an element in the speech, as per this quote: “My main theme is that you’re supposed to be respectful of people, even if you don’t agree with them,” Young toldThe Denver Post on Thursday. “I figured my gayness would be a very good way to address that. They also only canceled the speech minutes before the ceremony, failed to note his other accomplishments and outed him to his parents - the principal seems like a d-bag to me. Let the kid say what he wanted to say.
Man, things have changed. I was valedictorian of my HS (Washington Twp HS, Class of '80) and never even thought about having my speech "reviewed" by anyone and nobody asked. Probably wouldn' have been approved these days either - not that I came out, lol, but I was a fairly headstrong, left leaning (surprise) teenager who had probably read too many Hunter S. Thompson books.
My speech was only about 2 minutes long (had it on 3x5 cards, but memorized it), but in it I took aim at people for being automatons, who didn't think for themselves, as well as lambasting the military-industrial complex. I implored people to think for themselves and challenge authority. We had 4 valedictorians and I'm pretty sure I was the only one regularly smoking and even selling weed, lol. And I chose Rutgers over many other more prestigious schools and never regretted it.
Man, things have changed. I was valedictorian of my HS (Washington Twp HS, Class of '80) and never even thought about having my speech "reviewed" by anyone and nobody asked. Probably wouldn' have been approved these days either - not that I came out, lol, but I was a fairly headstrong, left leaning (surprise) teenager who had probably read too many Hunter S. Thompson books.
My speech was only about 2 minutes long (had it on 3x5 cards, but memorized it), but in it I took aim at people for being automatons, who didn't think for themselves, as well as lambasting the military-industrial complex. I implored people to think for themselves and challenge authority. We had 4 valedictorians and I'm pretty sure I was the only one regularly smoking and even selling weed, lol. And I chose Rutgers over many other more prestigious schools and never regretted it.
I based my opinion on this :"Young planned to disclose his sexual orientation publicly for the first time during his speech"
Yeah, but really depends on details we don't know. Like the speech text and did people close to him know.
It's a high school graduation, and should be about all the people graduating - it's not a time to come out. I am a very open person, and am supportive of gay rights but that's just how this struck me.
The school’s attorney, Barry Arrington, added that “[Graduation] is not a time for a student to use his commencement speech to push his personal agenda on a captive audience.”
This sums it up perfectly and I agree completely.
This sums it up perfectly and I agree completely.
I thought that pushing a personal agenda on a captive audience was exactly what giving a speech was about.
The school is wrong here, Good luck to the young man at RU
Last edited:
Wont comment on the actions taken because we don't have a lot of the necessary details.
However I do have an opinion on his coming out during the graduation ceremony. I think its hypocritical.
Why do it at the end when this will be the last time he sees most of these people?
That's not doing something bold. That's taking the easy way out.
If you're proud of your identity, live it. Don't hide it for 4 years and then tell people about it the last time you see them.
However I do have an opinion on his coming out during the graduation ceremony. I think its hypocritical.
Why do it at the end when this will be the last time he sees most of these people?
That's not doing something bold. That's taking the easy way out.
If you're proud of your identity, live it. Don't hide it for 4 years and then tell people about it the last time you see them.
Wonder what would have happened if he went with the school's edits and then was able to give his speach. In the middle he then reverts to what he originally wanted to say. Sad situation all around as he was unable to inform family on his own terms but one might deduce that they were probably aware but were waiting for him to inform them.
Wonder what the follow up legal process will be. It is only evident that something will be filed and challenged. His career at Rutgers will be an interesting one to follow. Let's hope it is a good and productive one and he graduates with honors etc in whatever field his major may be.
Tough decision for the school administrators but well stated by their legal counsel.
Wonder what the follow up legal process will be. It is only evident that something will be filed and challenged. His career at Rutgers will be an interesting one to follow. Let's hope it is a good and productive one and he graduates with honors etc in whatever field his major may be.
Tough decision for the school administrators but well stated by their legal counsel.
It's impossible to form an opinion on this with the details given. I'd need to hear the full speech to know whether it was as selfish and attention seeking as the administration (and some posters here) are arguing. What if the student was using his homosexuality as a lesson in being true to who you are and having respect for others? Point is, we don't know enough context. The administration does come off as pretty douchey in the article, but that could also be the slant of the writer. In general, I'm not a huge fan of censorship.
Did he have any other p5 offers?
Seriously though, glad to get such a sharp kid at RU. Good luck to him.
Seriously though, glad to get such a sharp kid at RU. Good luck to him.
Being gay is not a "personal agenda". If he mentioned a girlfriend, would that have been forcing his straight agenda on everyone?
The valedictorian should share how he or she got their success and their struggles in getting there. If his speech was about praying to the Lord or going to a shooting range we all know where the usuals here would come down and how the principal would have felt about those "personal agendas."
And further the principal is an idiot. What if the dad shot the kid for being gay? What if he kicked him out?
The only "personal agenda" here was the bigoted school one.
Thankfully the kid is coming to RU where he won't have to deal with that kind of BS.
“My main theme is that you’re supposed to be respectful of people, even if you don’t agree with them,”
NJBorn, RUsSKii - I strongly condemn your opinion, and that of the school, that 'respect towards people of all walks of life - regardless of any characteristic or action of theirs' - is a 'personal agenda to not be 'pushed' among a graduation audience'. It is a key principle upon which I have based my adult life in the medical field and in the community - no matter if you are dealing with someone of a different race, creed (Republicans, as an example, different for me), sexual orientation, gender, etc. - no matter if you are dealing with a homeless woman or a criminal man, a sinner in the eyes of your church or not - I will give you compassionate care in the hospital and I will treat you with respect in the community.
Now, if you think I've "shifted the goalposts" by stating the theme of this speech by the student and not the statement "I am a gay American", you fail to realize - if you invalidate this theme because it draws from personal experiences you invalidate every theme of every speech that draws from personal experience. And that's, I'm sure you will agree, absurd.
The fact of the matter is that sexuality is a part of identity, and these identity groups are subject to persecution in some cases and have their own experience in America, just as Black Americans, female Americans, Asian Americans, Republican Americans have their own personal experiences based on parts of their identities. If this boy was talking about sexual acts that would be a completely different thing. He is talking about his experience as a member of an identity group and has a theme we should all appreciate.
Last edited:
The era that calls a person's sexual orientation a lifestyle, when that person starts talking about their personal life and wanting others to know they are gay.
But in retrospect , it could be considered an offensive remark and I apologize for using that term.
I think this generation's need to "over share" information is a product of being raising on Facebook. Who cares about his sexual orientation? That should only matter to him, his family, and close friends. I think that the school did the correct thing, but I can't say that definitively unless I see the speech. It does sound like the school made a procedural error if they only let him know about their decision "a few minutes before the ceremony."
The article states that he has a scholarship from Rutgers, but it does not say that he will be attending. That could be shoddy reporting, but hey, as someone said, it makes us look good!
-Scarlet Jerry
The article states that he has a scholarship from Rutgers, but it does not say that he will be attending. That could be shoddy reporting, but hey, as someone said, it makes us look good!
-Scarlet Jerry
What if a valedictorian, male or female, gay or straight, has always had a particular fetish or enjoys an uncommon sexual technique, would it be appropriate to mention it during a graduation speech?
Should bakers be forced to represent the fetish or uncommon technique on a graduation cake?
Should bakers be forced to represent the fetish or uncommon technique on a graduation cake?
NewJerseyGuy - you're making me feel like a psychic the way I predicted and responded to your post an hour before you wrote it :)
If you were to reference your girlfriend or wife in a speech, would the audience assume you were automatically going to then be discussing your sex life with her? It's not just about what goes on in the bedroom.
Glad I could help!
I don't believe your post covers fetishes, which, in and of themselves are not sexual acts. However, I bet they likely can be a major part of a fetishist's identity. Same goes for uncommon sexual techniques. And I bet certain fetishes and uncommon sexual techniques may be frowned upon and may be the basis for discrimination. Not sure I understand why a fetishist would not deserve an equal voice at graduation.
Also, traditionally, the one big reason folks have been illegally discriminated against in this country has been due to the fact that others may seek to identify them and prejudge them based on their appearance (i.e., non-white and female Americans have suffered discrimination based on their appearance). However, we generally cannot tell a person's sexual orientation from his or her appearance. Rather, often, the only way we know an individual's sexual orientation or preferences is if they choose to tell us -- which is often unnecessary in most situations, such as graduation speeches.
Similar threads
