girls that have material needs as a primary way of getting attention are basically over priced whores... it's either that or the guy she is with can't satisfy her... truth... if you are good in the sack you have nothing to worry about
OT: Engagement Rings
- Thread starter bostonknight11
- Start date
or if you have awesome hunting skills you don't need a limited resource like that and some wire or paracord and a knife will do just fine
i was thinking like iron and steel but that works too[cheers]
if the worlds gone to shit and we're all fighting to survive, you remember to set up your wire and paracord traps when the rioters are breaking down your front door.
i always forget how to get the gifs to work on these forums.... @R1776U setting his traps :
http://gph.is/17AqgEI
http://gph.is/17AqgEI
Hey Boston,
Here is some advice worth considering. Especially consider buying just under the whole carat (e.g. .95 carats rather than 1.05 carats). You can always just tell folks it's one carat -- it rounds off to that. Also, buy slightly less than perfectly clear, etc., if your budget is a bit cramped. Again, without a jeweler's eyepiece, you won't be able to tell the difference (and maybe not even then). Also, small diamonds off to the side of the main diamond adds real opulence to the ring as a whole.
Finally, have you proposed? Are you planning on doing so with the ring? If not, I would strongly recommend going to pick out/purchase the ring with your fiance as a date event, with a nice dinner afterwards instead of going it alone. You're going to be a team in life. Start out that way unless you really think she would prefer you do this yourself.
Asking parents is a throwback sort of thing. Do it if you want, but if it seems inappropriate, don't worry about it. And if you do, make sure you include her mother in that event. It will do you zero good to have asked her dad and insulted her mom in the process. I shudder at the thought of it.
Best wishes,
Skillet
Here is some advice worth considering. Especially consider buying just under the whole carat (e.g. .95 carats rather than 1.05 carats). You can always just tell folks it's one carat -- it rounds off to that. Also, buy slightly less than perfectly clear, etc., if your budget is a bit cramped. Again, without a jeweler's eyepiece, you won't be able to tell the difference (and maybe not even then). Also, small diamonds off to the side of the main diamond adds real opulence to the ring as a whole.
Finally, have you proposed? Are you planning on doing so with the ring? If not, I would strongly recommend going to pick out/purchase the ring with your fiance as a date event, with a nice dinner afterwards instead of going it alone. You're going to be a team in life. Start out that way unless you really think she would prefer you do this yourself.
Asking parents is a throwback sort of thing. Do it if you want, but if it seems inappropriate, don't worry about it. And if you do, make sure you include her mother in that event. It will do you zero good to have asked her dad and insulted her mom in the process. I shudder at the thought of it.
Best wishes,
Skillet
I have to say i'm fascinated by all these people suggesting that speaking with the parents is no longer important. Big mistake in my opinion. While its not about asking for permission/approval to do wed, i think its more about paying some respect. While i agree that you dont HAVE to do it, it doesn't hurt to pay some respect, on the other hand you absolutely risk offending your soon to be inlaws.
As I said earlier If you picked the right future teammate...not sure why you would need to do this. You should already know what she likes.
But to each his own.
By the time I was ready to buy a ring I knew what she liked and knew exactly what the kind of dress she was going to pick for her wedding gown.
Being on the same page of the same playbook does help going forward...kids, housing, investments, etc.
OP - my opinion is that, if you want to go custom setting or want to touch, feel, and see the stone in person, the diamond district is great. if going for stock, off the shelf settings, blue nile has very good prices and I have not heard anything but great praise about them.
"Don't worry, Honey, I know exactly what you want in the most important purchase in your life to date--just leave it to me," said no intelligent prospective groom ever. Your'e a guy. You don't have the "I want this particular diamond on my hand to show off to all the girls" gene. Go do it as the couple you are going to become. Make it a day you'll remember.
EDIT: Having taken this stance, I should admit that I designed my wife's wedding ring. But we did that together and she expressed her opinions. I'm the more artistic of the two of us, and have a bit of background in the arts. She loved that we did it together and that she can tell folks that I designed the ring.
This is exactly what we did and it made for a very memorable day that we still talk about 30 years later. We had a connection in the diamond district at the time so we selected the stone (just under a carat) with him, he took us to another vendor for the setting and another for the box. We had a nice dinner after and then went home and announced our engagement to our families.
My stock answer on these threads: why waste all that money on an inert piece of carbon? My then-fiancee agreed and we spent half of that money on a helluva great 3-week honeymoon in Spain and Portugal and we put the other half towards a house. She says she hasn't missed it. I know I haven't. She's still a keeper.
Go to Solitaire Creations in NYC Diamond District. Ask for Dennis. Do this before you go to any other Diamond District location. Ask Dennis to show you what to look for...he'll give you an eyepiece and show you multiple diamonds and what the difference is between them, ratings, color codes, etc. See what you like and see what price range he has...then look around at the other places. Some will have you look at their diamonds with the naked eye...always use an eyepiece or you will get ripped off. In fact, if you can get your own eyepiece prior, do it. Dennis was an honest person with me and helped others in my family with the same thing. At least 4 different wedding rings for various family members plus other stuff. I haven't been there in many years but if wanted something that's the first place I'd check.
To each their own in this department. I personally had a good idea what my wife to be would want and i went ahead and did everything myself. I also viewed it as one final opportunity for her expose her true colors if she had been suppressing an inner monster. IF by some chance she didn't love what i selected, i knew she wasn't the one for me. I'm firmly of the opinion that the right women will love whatever you pick out, even poop on a string. Run in the other direction if she that particular that you selected white gold instead of platinum or 1.5 ct instead of 2.
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If she's prepping for a possible future engagement, she has a Pinterest board with all that stuff already picked out. You can figure it out without asking her.
Experiences almost always trump acquisitions! But man, don't short your wife to be on the wedding ring! Get something she's going to be really happy with every day, rather than thinking, "I wish he hadn't talked me into this miniature diamond." But don't buy a 2 carat monstrosity either, especially if your wife is petite (which, fortunately, Moms Skillethead is). This is why I truly recommend talking this stuff out and doing it together.
I missed a thought in my original statement but no, not a joke. I know plenty of women that put on a "show" so to speak and have witnessed them change dramatically once the ring was put on or got married. I knew who i was proposing to and didn't expect anything to change, but that proposal was one of those final tests IMO.
You may not change your mind, but at least you'll know what you are getting into. Its like when I a guy I work with bought his girl a new car and she didn't like the color and was pissed... at least you know right there that shes a spoiled brat so you better be ready to deal with that... you may still love her but you know what you are getting into.
To each his own I guess. I would never make a major purchase for my wife without her input. To say that if she doesn't like your taste in rings for her, then she isn't the woman for you, is, imho, a strange criterion. I mean, if your wife/girlfriend, bought you a Legacy without telling you, and you kind of really wanted a Beamer, then she should file for divorce?
No, my point is that she should know i want a beamer...same way that i should know her general style. IMO, The ring is a statement about the groom as much as it is about the bride to be. It shouldn't be strictly 100% about her and the second you start seeing that it is that way, i would run in the other direction. Again just my two cents. Each couple is unique and has their own dynamic but for us, I knew my wifes general style and taste, and the rest was up to me. Her and I were on the same page, as i brought up after the fact if she would have wanted to select her ring and she said 100% NO. She loved that I picked something for her.
So you asked her what she wanted and she told you, "Here is what I'm looking for in general, you decide." I've got no problem with that.
I was 2 years out of grad school, so making decent money, but nowhere near loaded - we traveled relatively cheaply and both countries weren't that expensive back in '91. iirc, the whole trip was under $4K.
nope...she had no clue. I just payed attention to what she liked. You gotta work for it.. i never said it would be easy. Lol.
I guess it depends on the girl and the parents.
I approached my future father-in-law before proposing to my wife because I knew it was important to him.
On the other hand, I know a lot of guys who would see it as a lack of respect if their daughters' boyfriends discussed a proposal with them before they discussed it with their daughters. They would view it as insulting to their daughters if the daughters weren't approached first with the discussion of marriage, and if the boy robbed the daughters of the opportunity to share the engagement with her parents.
There is no always right answer here. You need to know you future wife and future in-laws, and understand what they would view as the right move.
I know exactly what kind of ring she wants, based on years of observation and careful listening. I will be purchasing the ring without her knowing. We have obviously discussed marriage, and it's important to her and her parents that I speak to them before the actual proposal. I would have done this anyway, as a sign of respect.
I'm really just looking for advice about how/where/from whom to purchase the best ring I can within my budget, because this is a market I have never delved into before.
My wife went with me to the Diamond District in NYC in 1973. My wife picked out a ring that she loved dearly and wore for 41 years until she passed away in 2014. We were married for 8 weeks short of 40 years. This was an event that we planned together and we had a lovely life of knowing each other for 42 and a half years. True love is the most important thing for any couple.
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