OT: Instagram and younger kids - thanks in advance
- Thread starter UMRU
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She likely wants to connect with her friends and establish her social presence on line. Your decision to let her have an account or not depends on how much you trust your daughter and how much you plan on monitoring. I'm a prude when it comes to social media and my kids. I have 11 & 7 year olds.....and both are way behind their classmates when it comes to connecting via social media because my wife and I shield them from it. Not sure this is a good thing or not...but we think our kids are way too immature to deal with it properly.
No kids, but you can monitor that. Probably isn't a bad thing. Parents I know create fake profiles and friend or follow their kids. A bit diabolical, but keeps you very much in the loop.
I'd keep them away from Snapchat though.
I'd keep them away from Snapchat though.
Been in the same boat for close to year with my soon to be 12 yo daughter ... we trust her to do the right thing and use it appropriately, however we have no faith in the other kids and their friends to be posting appropriate content on there.
The one counter argument to all (well most, there are a few other parental holdouts) her friends being on instagram is that they require users to be 13, and I have no problem following that rule at this time and using it as my primary reason for her not having it. as well enforcing that just because everyone else breaks a rule you should too is not the way to go about things.
The one counter argument to all (well most, there are a few other parental holdouts) her friends being on instagram is that they require users to be 13, and I have no problem following that rule at this time and using it as my primary reason for her not having it. as well enforcing that just because everyone else breaks a rule you should too is not the way to go about things.
Great thread. I got two young ones coming up (9 and 7) and would like hear thoughts on social media outlets.
These social media aps SUCK. When I was in HS which was not too long ago, I would go to the shore with my friends throughout the summer, hang out at somebody's pool, fish, or go to the mall/movies. Back then, nobody was on their phones at all. Phones were around but no data/internet. Life was good then. We did spend a lot of time on PS1 and N64 - very wonderful memories.
Now, people are on their phones constantly while DRIVING, walking, when with family/friends, on vacations, and so on. It's dumb.
That's it.
EDIT - to provide feedback for the OP - JUST SAY NO.
Now, people are on their phones constantly while DRIVING, walking, when with family/friends, on vacations, and so on. It's dumb.
That's it.
EDIT - to provide feedback for the OP - JUST SAY NO.
A
anon_ivydyf0amkzay
Guest
My college age students always tell me that they're leaving Facebook because that's social media for old people… Almost every single one of my students at the freshman to senior level has either Instagram, whatsapp or snap chat...from their perspective FB is what old people use (anyone 30 or older)
Monitor closely!!
Monitor closely!!
Currently, our two boys (10 and 12) have laptops. Both laptops are set up with Microsoft's parental controls, and they are limited to a couple hours a day... nothing after 10 pm (if they need more for school work, they have to ask permission). Facebook and other social media sites are blocked, but my wife and I know that facebook is coming. I'm considering a no pictures rule (pictures are worth a thousand words -- both good and bad). We're trying to do what we can to keep our kids online presence clean, while giving them some room to explore. I'm interested in how others are handling this.
We have four sons. The only social media we allow right now is Instagram. Kids are 8, 10, 12 & 14. 10, 12 & 14 have Instagram. My wife follows their accounts as well as cousins aunts and uncles. When we see someone post something that we are not happy with, our kids must remove them from their "friends" list, stop following them.
I can't guaantee we catch everything. But the. Kids know we watch. In addition, all devices belong to us (parents) not them (kids). We can check any device whenever we want, the kids are never surprised or concerned when we check.
The kids have all been educated that when you press "send", that the its out there forever.
Not sure if it's the best way, but so far it's worked for us.
The kids also have been taught that not everyone was raised like they are being raised. So they may see lots of things that will shock and surprise them. Let us know. We will help. Whatever question they have about something they may see, come to us with it, we will educate them. The kids are not on Facebook yet. Not allowed. That may change soon for the older guy. Instagram is just simpler. As a matter of fact, my 12 year was just punished for starting a Facebook account so that he could register for some game.
We can't protect them from everything but we can try to prepare them. I would hate to be in this day and age, preparing for HS or college and to be social media ignorant. You gotta raise them best you can and hope they make best decisions.
I can't guaantee we catch everything. But the. Kids know we watch. In addition, all devices belong to us (parents) not them (kids). We can check any device whenever we want, the kids are never surprised or concerned when we check.
The kids have all been educated that when you press "send", that the its out there forever.
Not sure if it's the best way, but so far it's worked for us.
The kids also have been taught that not everyone was raised like they are being raised. So they may see lots of things that will shock and surprise them. Let us know. We will help. Whatever question they have about something they may see, come to us with it, we will educate them. The kids are not on Facebook yet. Not allowed. That may change soon for the older guy. Instagram is just simpler. As a matter of fact, my 12 year was just punished for starting a Facebook account so that he could register for some game.
We can't protect them from everything but we can try to prepare them. I would hate to be in this day and age, preparing for HS or college and to be social media ignorant. You gotta raise them best you can and hope they make best decisions.
Yes, I forgot about that. No devices in their rooms after bed time. They all get plugged in the kitchen before bed. An hour during school week. Only when schoolwork is done and grades are good. The kids get plenty of "outside" time. Not an issue with 4 boys who all want to run, play , jump.
Good grades means they hang on to their devices for another semester.
It was not done this way on purpose, but a friend once told me when the kids were younger, "get them addicted to something, then take it away from them". That seems the be what today's electronic devices have become
Good grades means they hang on to their devices for another semester.
It was not done this way on purpose, but a friend once told me when the kids were younger, "get them addicted to something, then take it away from them". That seems the be what today's electronic devices have become
We actually have a "no-screen time" Sunday through Thursday rule (other than homework). Sounds draconian, I know, but it is amazing - we have kids that have little interest in TV, rarely watch movies and spend lots of time playing outside. They almost never complain. They do spend lots of time on various versions of Minecraft on the weekends, however.
The older one (12) does have a phone - we do monitor it - but we felt that without this she would be socially left behind. So far texting has kept her happy, but now she wants bigger things, which is why Instagram came up.
The older one (12) does have a phone - we do monitor it - but we felt that without this she would be socially left behind. So far texting has kept her happy, but now she wants bigger things, which is why Instagram came up.
To me the biggest issue with your child having instagram is the constant quantifying of their place in the social hierarchy. How many people liked your post? How many followers? How many are you following? What is the ratio?
I'd try to keep them away as long as possible, but if you don't definitely make them have you as following and tell them you will look daily.
This is a real tough decision.Our 14 year old is on it and we constantly have to reduce his time and our 12 year old was on it and we took it away because we felt he wasn't ready for it. It wasn't a punishment, we told him he just wasn't ready.
What does bother me is when my son calls certain kids friends when in reality he would barely talk to the person if he saw them in a restaurant or the waiting room in the doctor's office.
I'd try to keep them away as long as possible, but if you don't definitely make them have you as following and tell them you will look daily.
This is a real tough decision.Our 14 year old is on it and we constantly have to reduce his time and our 12 year old was on it and we took it away because we felt he wasn't ready for it. It wasn't a punishment, we told him he just wasn't ready.
What does bother me is when my son calls certain kids friends when in reality he would barely talk to the person if he saw them in a restaurant or the waiting room in the doctor's office.
Instagram is probably the tamest of the bunch, easy to monitor, and is a good way to allow entry to social media. Facebook, at this point, is an older crowd. My kids and their friends barely post there. Keep them off of Twitter, Snap Chat and anything else as long as you can....and if "ask.fm" is still around, keep them off of it, as you're just asking to be bullied. In my opinion, kids need a break from all of the social pressures they have when not at home (school, etc.), so why bring there earlier than you have to.
I have a colleague who compares social media to alcohol. Talk to them about it, expose them to it in limited quantities and realize that once they get to college all bets are off. Hopefully, they will understand that is a difference between enjoying a beer with friends and throwing up on your shoes. My liquor cabinet isn't currently locked, but if needed it will be. We are trying the same approach with social media, but it scares the heck out of me.
I have 2 daughters ages 17 and 21. No issues with the 21 yr old, she has her phone with her at all times but its not a drug like what i see with my 17 yr old and her friends. IT IS NON STOP! The constant picture taking and as someone said the strive for the most likes. I have to admit there is some funny stuff she shows me on the Vine app. (wow i sound old) The phones are almost like a form of life support for them, I hope as she gets out of HS they grow out of it. I can't imagine how any of them will be able to hold down a job if they dont..
So good luck trying to monitor it all, it sounds easy when they are 12 or 11 but not so much w/ a 17 yr old girl. I just dont have the energy. My wife and I have taught them well hopefully and we let it go at that. I would suggest to keep saying no as long as possible.
So good luck trying to monitor it all, it sounds easy when they are 12 or 11 but not so much w/ a 17 yr old girl. I just dont have the energy. My wife and I have taught them well hopefully and we let it go at that. I would suggest to keep saying no as long as possible.
the more you say no, the harder they will rebel.
and they won't grow out of it, it just gets worse.
Instagram is a way for people to share photos of something (food, friends, something funny) put different filters on the pictures and then hashtag it to death BUT you can make the account private so that only approved people can see the photos. This will give you the opportunity to check your daughter's account to see 1. who she is following and 2. who is following her as long as you have the password....which, at age 12 you should.
Question for the parents...everyday I see girls as young as 12 up to 18 wearing short shorts that look hot pants...just wondering how parents feel about that.
Mine don't and I would not allow it, but I know what you mean. What's hard is that their friends start having such a huge influence on them when they reach around 12.
I am a young alumnus. Make sure your daughter's instagram is private and not public. If public, hundreds of adults prowling publicly shared pictures will comment and interact and attempt to directly message/communicate with your progeny
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only asking because I see parents talk a good talk about protecting their kids and being helicopter parents even into their teen years and have concerns about social media and computers all the while their daughters are showing more leg than Beyoncé
don't have kids but I will chime in anyhow and say that with social media you cant keep it away from your kids..its totally the way of the world in the 2010s, if you deprive your kids in some way theyre going to be way behind their peers
I am a technology director for a medium size school district. I give social media presentations to parents all the time, so I feel like I have some expertise that I can offer the group. In addition, I recently met with a team of agents from that famous national law enforcement agency who specialize in apprehending child predators. The stories they shared were shocking, especially about the size of the problem regarding social media and girls in their early teenage years. You can't easily prevent kids from using these services, but I could share my parenting perspective if people are interested. I know this is a football board, but I don't want to get beaten up if I discuss something that is important but way off topic.
-Scarlet Jerry
-Scarlet Jerry
Jerry this is a very informative and necessary thread and I think I can speak for many here when I ask if you could perhaps provide a social media for dummies post. A Cliffs version of pros and cons of different forums and how best to monitor them and the risks of each? Much appreciated.
EDIT: I am on FB in a limited capacity so I have a general understanding regarding the privacy settings but have little info on anything else.
Its clearly labeled as an off topic thread - anyone who doesn't want to read this can easily skip it. Please share your insight - I, and I am sure many others, would be very grateful!!!
Instagram is fine as long as you have her put it on PRIVATE mode ... All that means is if someone clicks her username and goes to her page, it will not show any of her pictures, and instead will just show her bio (what she writes about her interest, etc), her profile pic (but very tiny), and a button that says "Follow". If someone clicks that, she gets a notification that so and so wants to follow you. She can then (or you) look at that person's profile, username, etc. and if it's someone she knows, she can click the big green check mark next to their name. If she doesn't know them, then she can click the red X and they can't follow her. However, they can request to again, so if she wants she can even go to their account, and next to their name click the ... Key and say "block", which means they can't request to follow her again. Instagram is probably the most secure social media when it comes to blocking, as you really have no way of seeing anyone's photos unless you follow them.
As far as letting her have one, yes you should. At 12, and especially as a girl, all her friends will have one, she definitely should too. Just keep it on Private, tell her don't let anyone follow you who you don't know, and you'll have no worries.
As far as letting her have one, yes you should. At 12, and especially as a girl, all her friends will have one, she definitely should too. Just keep it on Private, tell her don't let anyone follow you who you don't know, and you'll have no worries.
