OT: Who Else Here?

[zappaa]

Jumped up like a jack rabbit when your father told you to do something? Or rectify a wrong, or anything?
And I'm not talking out of fear or punishment, just complete respect.

 

[BUDMAN4RU]

Fear

 

[RUMBA-JK]

Might need to plot response rate against chronological age over time - thinking of the old quote attributed to Mark Twain -

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. — Mark Twain

- Sadly, have discovered that this likely is one of those quotes that sounds like Twain - but he probably did not say it.

 

[RU-ROCS]

Ditto. But, for me it was a combination of fear and respect.

 

[shu2x79]

For me it was all about respect. I was lucky in that my parents did not spoil my brother or me but they did do the little things that add up and matter in life.

 

[Kbee3]

Fear

Me too.
Although he never hit me, the threat of such was enough to get my attention.
But then my father wasn't Yogi....although he did fight in Europe in WWII. He wasn't on a boat either; he jumped out of a plane with a parachute...101st Airborne.
And, may he rest in peace, he hated Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, and all other "non-whites". And yes...we had many, many arguments about this matter. In fact I do remember him hitting me once...smack to the face with an open hand once when I mocked his racism. He chalked it up to "Rutgers brainwashing."

 

[zappaa]

Disrespecting my mother was the only thing that got you the back of my dad's hand. If he had his world series ring on you'd get a 5 in a row implanted in your cheek from the only ring he wore.

 

[mdk01]

Ditto. But, for me it was a combination of fear and respect.

Combination. Precisely.

And the task at hand also dictated which factor was the main reason. When it snowed and we had to shovel the driveway the need was obvious and it was respect. When it was taking out the garbage it was "What, me again? I have a brother and a sister. " That's when fear took over.

 

[LevaosLectures]

I cherished my mother's and father's love above almost anything. It's impossible to describe the hole it left in my being and in the entire family when my father died. He was a pacifist and a poet, and though he could bellow with the best of them he never raised even the sepcter of physical violence. He probably fell short of Zappaa's ideas about discipline. So be it. He taught me everything I feel I need to know about how to be a father.

HIS father was Yogi's age...a World War 2 hardass. It took a lot of fence-mending for his children to have a good relationship with him in their adult years. Maybe the baby boomers overcorrected a bit...I don't know.

Love your kids, people. Treat them like human beings, not imbeciles or underlings.

 

[mdk01]

Disrespecting my mother /QUOTE]

See Webster's under "Death wish"

 

[DJ Spanky]

Ditto. But, for me it was a combination of fear and respect.

^^^ This. ^^^

 

[dmurph24]

I never feared my father but had the upmost respect for him. When he told us to do something we did it, once again not out of fear but to show him that we could handle or attempt to handle whatever the task/situation called for. It was more important to us that we didn't disappoint him, although he probably never looked at it that way. My father never hit us, not once.... and rarely raised his voice, but man if he WAS truely disappointed in us he could give us a half day silent treatment that was just awful, at least in our eyes as kids.

We grew up in a tight-knit community (Belleville) where all the kids showed great respect to their parents and friends parents. I guess it was just different times where generations of families just stayed in town. I could go up and down the street and name every neighbor and every kid on our block, you could play in any yard and doors were left unlocked. We went to the same elementary school (St. Peter's) as my parents. When we moved to the Jersey Shore in the summer of 1977 it seems as though most of that community comfort level was lost.

 

[MrsScrew]

fear. total and absolute fear

 

[RUinPinehurst]

Affirmative. Miss him greatly, every day. Built like a linebacker. He commanded respect. And got it, from everyone.

 

[SHUSource]

I'm fortunate enough that my folks remain in pretty good health, all things considered, so it's odd to speak of them in the past tense, even for the sake of this thread. In our house, mom was the everyday disciplinarian, meting out punishment as required, ranging from yelling and screaming (she can hit some notes), to the wooden spoon or paddle (a practice she disavows today, and encourages her children never to take up). You're never too old to reconsider, I guess.

My dad was always a quiet one; really almost never yelled, and never once hit me. He tried once (how mad he must have been!), but I danced out of the way and took off for a few hours. But here was the thing: because my mom had such a quick temper, I wasn't really afraid of her punishment. But my dad - who remains about the gentlest man I know - was the one who could scare me, and if he said do it, I did it, because of the unknown. I figured he had a limit, but I just never really got there ... and never wanted to. I guess it was respect, but backed by a little bit of fear.

(Just as an aside, my mom wasn't afraid to get after it. She still tried beating my ass (I'm really just talking about an angry spanking here) until I was 13, when I was already north of six-foot and 200 lbs. By then, I could pretty much fend it off and restrain her, so I think that's when she finally gave it up...)

 

[RC1978]

Being Greek we had the threat of the wooden spoon (koutala) from my mother. Dad just gave me that look and I knew he was serious.

 

[RUich]

I was physically bigger than my father by the time I entered HS. So "fear" was never much of a factor. Both of my parents gave my sister and I respect and we returned it.
Being told to do something was never a suggestion. My allowance was based on me doing chores that were always correct for my age. No work, no allowance.
I was truly blessed that my parents did things for us that would enhance our lives and make us better citizens. I know my father told me that if I ever did something stupid and got arrested, don't expect them to be there with bail money. I never got arrested (although I certainly did some really stupid things!) so I didn't get the chance of seeing if they were kidding or not, probably not.
Both my sister and I were certainly spoiled in many ways. But, my parents somehow did it without us feeling entitled as we both grew up, graduated college and retired in good shape.

 

[zappaa]

I cherished my mother's and father's love above almost anything. It's impossible to describe the hole it left in my being and in the entire family when my father died. He was a pacifist and a poet, and though he could bellow with the best of them he never raised even the sepcter of physical violence. He probably fell short of Zappaa's ideas about discipline. So be it. He taught me everything I feel I need to know about how to be a father.

HIS father was Yogi's age...a World War 2 hardass. It took a lot of fence-mending for his children to have a good relationship with him in their adult years. Maybe the baby boomers overcorrected a bit...I don't know.

Love your kids, people. Treat them like human beings, not imbeciles or underlings.

The last thing my dad was, was a hard ass.
He based his entire life on humility, respect and gratitude.

 

[mildone]

I remember fondly the first time my dad laid out a line of blow on a mirror and introduced me to my first hooker. I was what, maybe eight or nine. Good times. And of course, I always did what he told me to do or he'd withhold the hookers and blow. I was very well behaved.

 

[LC-88]

I jumped 9 times out of 10. Those 9 times it was 100% out of respect. My Dad would always ask nicely the first time he made my brother or I do anything. We never felt like servants. On the rare occasion that I didn't jump the first time, he'd TELL me what I had to do. When it got to number three, he'd yell like he did when in the army, and out would come "The Hand of Doom" aka Dad's left hand. I only got to DEFCON Four about five times. That's when THOD was launched.

My Mom never yelled or swung. All she had to do was say "You'll have to tell your Father when he gets home from work." That was indirect fear of Dad at work.

With my kids I use my Dad's method, minus THOD. (Wife says she'll call the Sherriff.) So far have not needed to go past yelling, and even then only a few times. And I NEVER treat them like servants, nor use the line "you have to do it, because I had to when I was your age". God has blessed me with good kids.

Good thread Zappa.

 

[miketd1]

Feared my dad but afraid to disappoint more than afraid to be hit.

My 3 year old son fears me taking away his favorite toys. Absolutely loses it when I do.

 

[MURF87]

I never feared my father but had the upmost respect for him. When he told us to do something we did it, once again not out of fear but to show him that we could handle or attempt to handle whatever the task/situation called for. It was more important to us that we didn't disappoint him, although he probably never looked at it that way. My father never hit us, not once.... and rarely raised his voice, but man if he WAS truely disappointed in us he could give us a half day silent treatment that was just awful, at least in our eyes as kids.

We grew up in a tight-knit community (Belleville) where all the kids showed great respect to their parents and friends parents. I guess it was just different times where generations of families just stayed in town. I could go up and down the street and name every neighbor and every kid on our block, you could play in any yard and doors were left unlocked. We went to the same elementary school (St. Peter's) as my parents. When we moved to the Jersey Shore in the summer of 1977 it seems as though most of that community comfort level was lost.

Perfect summary, bro. Perfect.

 

[greenknight]

Zap need your dad's 5 in a row ring to handle my kids. They don't listen like when we were kids.

 

[RUDutch]

I jumped, mostly out of respect, slightly out of fear. Many times he wouldn't need to tell me, I just did the things that I knew he wanted done. The next question is, do your kid's show the same amount of respect for you that you had for your father? I don't think my son respects me at the same level that I respected my dad, but I think it's close enough for me not to complain about it.

 

[miketd1]

Zap need your dad's 5 in a row ring to handle my kids. They don't listen like when we were kids.

Just curious: how old are your kids?

 

[greenknight]

2 girls 10 and 7. The 10 yr old is hitting that trouble age where she doesn't want to listen

 

[greenknight]

2 girls 10 and 7. The 10 yr old is hitting that trouble age where she doesn't want to listen

Or should I say the Defiant age

 

[rudad02]

Disrespecting my mother was the only thing that got you the back of my dad's hand. If he had his world series ring on you'd get a 5 in a row implanted in your cheek from the only ring he wore.

Respect & a considerable dash of fear. When I was in college got one right across the ear for disrespecting my mother. Took me from a little hall into the dining room. Ear was ringing for awhile. Got the strap a couple of times when I was small. What was worse, however, was a tongue lashing. He would just undress you & bring you down to size. He was my hero though, for so many reasons.

 

[RUinPinehurst]

I remember fondly the first time my dad laid out a line of blow on a mirror and introduced me to my first hooker. I was what, maybe eight or nine. Good times. And of course, I always did what he told me to do or he'd withhold the hookers and blow. I was very well behaved.

Sounds like your Dad had "stain." Papa was a rolling stone? Where ever he laid his hat was his home? And when he died? All he left you was alone? Or was it a loan?

 

[mdk01]

I remember fondly the first time my dad laid out a line of blow on a mirror and introduced me to my first hooker. I was what, maybe eight or nine. Good times. And of course, I always did what he told me to do or he'd withhold the hookers and blow. I was very well behaved.

You could service a hooker at age 8!!! I'm impressed

 

[AreYouNUTS]

Being Greek we had the threat of the wooden spoon (koutala) from my mother. Dad just gave me that look and I knew he was serious.

HOLY CRAP I was just about to post this! By high school my mom was literally breaking wooden spoons on our asses (1 brother), and we'd be cracking up, which pissed her off even more so she went to the metallic versions.

We still laughed. :joy:

 

[RUforJERSEY]

Yes but in my household Mom was the primary disciplinarian because Dad worked nights for the most part.

 

[mikebal9]

I'm37. My dad was an MP in the Air Force and that's how he raised us. 100% fear for the entirety of my childhood.

 

[mildone]

You could service a hooker at age 8!!! I'm impressed

Her name was Jeanette. As for my ability at such a young age, it was all in the jeans. I was Jeanettically prepared. Another thing to thank good old Dad for.

 

[beaced]

Disrespecting my mother was the only thing that got you the back of my dad's hand. If he had his world series ring on you'd get a 5 in a row implanted in your cheek from the only ring he wore.

Just kidding of course but was he batting left handed when he let it fly? I respected your Dad extremely ,as a player and as a person.:baseball:

 

[knightfan7]

My dad was 5-7 and 140 soaking wet. I was bigger than him by 8th grade. Still scared the crap out of me. Have to say he was pretty easy going with me considering what a total screw up I was.

 

[Bagarocks]

Fear so much so especially after I smashed his chain saw cutting a tree down that he told me not to touch let alone take.
I joined the Army @ 17 figured it couldn't be worse.

 

[bac2therac]

I feared the singing belt that would befall me and my brothers if we were out of line

 

[runuts]

My dad was Irish my mom Italian and when I tell you my mother was the enforcer she could be brutal. So me and my two brothers and sisters learned the meaning of respect at an early age.

 

[AreYouNUTS]

...my dad would have thrown any participation trophies out, too.