This Jersey Mom went from part of the problem to...

[srru86]

Wanted to send her kid to Wisconsin but balked at out of state tuition. Reluctantly came around to Rutgers.

Money
My Son Was Accepted to a College He Can’t Afford. Now What?

 

[NotInRHouse]

I don't know whether to feel good or bad.

I was really dejected when my parents basically told me not to apply to NYU early decision unless I wanted a mountain of undergrad debt. But my parents (who each only have less than a semester of college credits) didn't get dejected by the outfits of college girls. Seriously, were the girls in Wisconsin not dressed in short skirts?

Also omitted was that RU 1) isn't really that academically far off from Wisconsin and 2) we're in the same conference, and it's not like being 40 minutes away will affect the kid's college experience. I mean how many people in Wisconsin live 40 minutes from Madison- I'm sure a lot. Certainly the population in Michigan is mostly within 40 minutes of UM or MSU. Are their college experiences lesser?

I think there are 5 very elite big public schools- UM, UNC, UCLA, Berkeley and UVA. Then you have GT and William and Mary. Wisconsin is in the next category, but I'm not sure that category doesn't include most of the rest of the B1G aside from Nebraska.

This obsession with RU being too close is really baffling to me. Unless your parents are deranged are they seriously going to show up every weekend? And what is it about RU and the deranged parents that doesn't affect all the other big public schools in major metropolitan areas...which is most of them?

And given that today you basically need a college degree like you needed a HS one years ago, you might as well save the debt for grad school, which is what a lot of RU students do. I know a ton of RU alums with Ivy and similar JD, MBA, MD, and other professional degrees.

You would think educated parents would deduce this without the Snooki references. I loved RU, enough to donate and involve myself in a community like this and be a season ticket holder, even though it was not my first choice. It was the right choice, and it is for many.

 

[Jim_from_RU]

That whole write up was insulting towards Rutgers. You'd think an educated person like the author would do a little more than throw RU stereotypes out there.

 

[RU-ROCS]

I don't know whether to feel good or bad.

I was really dejected when my parents basically told me not to apply to NYU early decision unless I wanted a mountain of undergrad debt. But my parents (who each only have less than a semester of college credits) didn't get dejected by the outfits of college girls. Seriously, were the girls in Wisconsin not dressed in short skirts?

Also omitted was that RU 1) isn't really that academically far off from Wisconsin and 2) we're in the same conference, and it's not like being 40 minutes away will affect the kid's college experience. I mean how many people in Wisconsin live 40 minutes from Madison- I'm sure a lot. Certainly the population in Michigan is mostly within 40 minutes of UM or MSU. Are their college experiences lesser?

I think there are 5 very elite big public schools- UM, UNC, UCLA, Berkeley and UVA. Then you have GT and William and Mary. Wisconsin is in the next category, but I'm not sure that category doesn't include most of the rest of the B1G aside from Nebraska.

This obsession with RU being too close is really baffling to me. Unless your parents are deranged are they seriously going to show up every weekend? And what is it about RU and the deranged parents that doesn't affect all the other big public schools in major metropolitan areas...which is most of them?

And given that today you basically need a college degree like you needed a HS one years ago, you might as well save the debt for grad school, which is what a lot of RU students do. I know a ton of RU alums with Ivy and similar JD, MBA, MD, and other professional degrees.

You would think educated parents would deduce this without the Snooki references. I loved RU, enough to donate and involve myself in a community like this and be a season ticket holder, even though it was not my first choice. It was the right choice, and it is for many.

Fair points all around. I'm not sure I agree, however, that the rest of the Big 10 is equal academically. They are all good schools and may not justify out-of-sate tuition, but I think most would agree that NW is first, UM is second and UW is third. FWIW, a dean at Rutgers told me that Wisconsin is what RU wants to become academically. So, at least in his eyes they are superior academically.

 

[NotInRHouse]

Yeah- did not include NW because not public.

 

[srru86]

That whole write up was insulting towards Rutgers. You'd think an educated person like the author would do a little more than throw RU stereotypes out there.

Agreed. But the affluent suburbs of our state are filled with folks like her; from somewhere else, came for nice towns, good schools, proximity to economic opportunities, etc., focused on the social prestige of the school, not as well informed as they think, looking to social climb via the offspring, helicopter parent, etc...

Not that they don't have these people in Wisconsin or Michigan, but there are not nearly as prevalent, and anybody in those places making the sort of ignorant and elitist assumptions about State U would quickly be social pariahs. Here there are way to many people that think you are doing the right thing by finding a way to get your kid into a second rate private and taking on six figure debt to avoid an undesirable Rutgers education.

To the author's credit she finally comes around it seems.

 

[Jim_from_RU]

Agreed. But the affluent suburbs of our state are filled with folks like her; from somewhere else, came for nice towns, good schools, proximity to economic opportunities, etc., focused on the social prestige of the school, not as well informed as they think, looking to social climb via the offspring, helicopter parent, etc...

Not that they don't have these people in Wisconsin or Michigan, but there are not nearly as prevalent, and anybody in those places making the sort of ignorant and elitist assumptions about State U would quickly be social pariahs. Here there are way to many people that think you are doing the right thing by finding a way to get your kid into a second rate private and taking on six figure debt to avoid an undesirable Rutgers education.

To the author's credit she finally comes around it seems.

I live in a town in Bergen County where people think this way. Drives me nuts!

 

[e5fdny]

One of my best friends who I met while a student at RU was accepted to Notre Dame out of HS. They made a very big deal out of it at his school but his dad said to him and his three siblings you're going to Rutgers.

My friend turned out more than okay without a Golden Dome on his head or Golden Dome size hole in his or his dad's wallet.

 

[Ole Cabbagehead]

You guys are too sensitive. I thought the article was fine, except for the Snooki comment. Ugh. These are people from New Jersey. Don't put that shit on Rutgers any more than you put it on your own hometown.

She failed to mention a huge point, which college parents way too often neglect, at least in my estimation. Where do you want to be after college? All of these NJ parents send their kids packing off to Wisconsin, Michigan, and the west coast so they can brag to their friends. I don't care what school it is, the bulk of the opportunities generated from any college are going to be in the geographical vicinity of that school. The kids either stick, and never come back to NJ (parents unhappy) or they come back to NJ, with virtually no alumni network or other opportunities to draw off of. If you come back home to NJ, how much are all of the snobby associations you made in Madison really going to help you?

This is especially true with southern schools. College selection should always be made with an eye towards where you want to live.

 

[NotInRHouse]

I don't know, I feel like a lot of these people do end up leaving NJ when their kids graduate. I think some of them move into NYC or Philly or retire somewhere warm. So they plan on being right behind their kids anyway.

Overall I do agree that geography matters, but I would say a school like Michigan has a national reputation, while I don't think Wisconsin really does.

And also RU has a more national reputation than people realize. We have an especially good reputation on the West Coast and other parts of the Northeast.

 

[retired711]

It's always a problem when you look better to someone far away than to someone up close.

 

[Jim_from_RU]

It's always a problem when you look better to someone far away than to someone up close.

It's the nature of the NJ culture.

 

[pmvon]

It's Wisconsin for Christs sake. Kid will feel like he's away, have an equavalent degree and better job opportunities. If it's Williams or Penn I get the angst.

 

[TonyLieske]

That whole write up was insulting towards Rutgers. You'd think an educated person like the author would do a little more than throw RU stereotypes out there.

I didn't think it was insulting, but I also don't think it's a new or unique situation. I had this exact same situation as a student in the 90's. I ended up choosing Rutgers almost purely based on price (the school i wanted to go to was American University). I feel like a lot of kids go through this exact same scenario. I certainly wasn't unique amongst the people I knew at the time.

 

[retired711]

It's the nature of the NJ culture.

It's partly that, but it's also partly that people far away think of Rutgers as a small elite college rather than a giant university.

 

[e5fdny]

It's partly that, but it's also partly that people far away think of Rutgers as a small elite college rather than a giant university.

And in this day and age what does it say about those people "far away"?

 

[retired711]

And in this day and age what does it say about those people "far away"?

Keep in mind that there is nothing about the Rutgers name that suggests that it is a major state university as opposed to an elite private institution. Probably most outside the region assume that, as a B1G school, we are more like Northwestern than anything else.

 

[S_Janowski]

Glad she and her son came to their senses and realized Rutgers was problably the smarter move but the tone throughout her article is annoying. Sorry but I don't feel bad for your son at all.

 

[Sir ScarletKnight]

No sympathy from me.

 

[rutgersdave]

The parents and student made the right choice in deciding on Rutgers. However, the parents should never have giving the kid the impression that he would be able to go to any school he would be accepted. I knew and my 4 other siblings knew we had to go in state because the burden of paying for 5 kids going to college is a lot. Our parents paid for our entire tuition without financial aids or loans even though they never went to college thru sacrifices.

This stupid race of keeping up with Mr Jones is ridiculous. The education you receive at Wisconsin and Rutgers isn't that much difference. The time spend on deciding on which school to go to base on reputation is insane when you compare it to deciding on the major even though this has more influence on the future success. From the sounds of the parent's profession, they weren't successful enough to have kids going out of state. My relatives don't depend on financial aids or loans to go to schools even when they go out of state. This is a problem with this country, people spending more than they earn.

It sounds like the kid probably couldn't get into Wisconsin unless he was an out of state student paying twice as much as an in state student. The standards for in state probably is much harder.

 

[rutgersdave]

I didn't think it was insulting, but I also don't think it's a new or unique situation. I had this exact same situation as a student in the 90's. I ended up choosing Rutgers almost purely based on price (the school i wanted to go to was American University). I feel like a lot of kids go through this exact same scenario. I certainly wasn't unique amongst the people I knew at the time.

American University is one of the most expensive school in the country costing about $60k annually for tuition and board. When I was working at WTOP in Washington, we had a part timer going to American University and I wondered what type of job he would need to get to pay off his $250k plus student loan. If he became the VP/GM of the station, he might be able to pay it back, but very unlikely.

 

[rutgersdave]

I was really dejected when my parents basically told me not to apply to NYU early decision unless I wanted a mountain of undergrad debt. But my parents (who each only have less than a semester of college credits) didn't get dejected by the outfits of college girls. Seriously, were the girls in Wisconsin not dressed in short skirts?

My nephew a couple of years ago had a girlfriend that graduated from NYU with over $100k student loans. Her salary was about $40k when she decided to get her Master's and Ph.D to go on to be an adjunct professor without the possibility of tenure. What's funny is that her parent wasn't thrilled about my nephew because he didn't go to an Ivy League school but my nephew was a doctor without any student loans and he just paid off the loan that he had for purchasing his practice.

 

[NotInRHouse]

I was really dejected when my parents basically told me not to apply to NYU early decision unless I wanted a mountain of undergrad debt. But my parents (who each only have less than a semester of college credits) didn't get dejected by the outfits of college girls. Seriously, were the girls in Wisconsin not dressed in short skirts?

My nephew a couple of years ago had a girlfriend that graduated from NYU with over $100k student loans. Her salary was about $40k when she decided to get her Master's and Ph.D to go on to be a adjunct professor without the possibility of tenure. What funny is that her parent wasn't thrilled about my nephew because he didn't go to an Ivy League school but my nephew was a doctor without any student loans and he just paid off the loan that he had for purchasing his practice.

Yup. In hindsight, going to NYU would have made no sense. I had no debt from RU, went to law school in NYC anyway, and lived there for 3 years.

The thing is not only do NJ parents struggle with that concept, but as the article tells us, think OOS public schools that are on RU's level- or in some cases worse like UDel or Ped- are something to write home about.

 

[retired711]

Wanted to send her kid to Wisconsin but balked at out of state tuition. Reluctantly came around to Rutgers.

Money
My Son Was Accepted to a College He Can’t Afford. Now What?

She does say she's proud of her son for not wanting to take on that much debt. But, yes, the tone is wrong. A google search discloses that she works as a project editor for CNBC. (She says in the article that she and her husband are journalists) She and her husband probably make a good enough living that Wisconsin would have no interest in aid. I'm sure their attitude is that financial aid is best-given to instate students, not to students whose parents think they're rich enough to afford sending their students OOS. OOS students are thought of by state universities as cash cows.

I think there are rare cases in which sending the kid OOS makes sense, but this doesn't sound like such a case. Wisconsin is a great school, but so is Rutgers if a student is active about seeking an education.

 

[RaySt]

My mother told me I could go to any school I wanted...as long as it was a New Jersey State school. So she funded a Bachelors from Rutgers, later I got an MBA from Montclair paid by my company and everyday folks with six figure debt from fancier schools call me boss! Thanks for the lessons mom!

Obnoxious for effect but fueled by Rutgers pride. Lots of similar stories around. Go to Rutgers!!!

 

[RU4Real]

I've been considering a side project in "collegiate sabermetrics" - a unique and thorough evaluation of a college education based on hard numbers and statistics, rather than emotion and tradition. Just like the baseball version was originally focused on a single, overlooked statistic (on base percentage), I will focus on something similar, such as "average weight of female student".

The idea here is that hotter coeds ultimately lead to better life outcomes.

 

[Sir ScarletKnight]

Quotes from some of my fellow Rutgers Students (and one non-RU Student friend of mine):

"Wow. Articles like these make me upset/annoyed of course. I wish when she came here she spoke to Tyler (one of our SAs from Wisconsin) You'll see once you start working [as a Scarlet Ambassador] how some people look down at Rutgers and you really need to work to change their perception and others come in the door like WOW THIS IS RUTGERS THIS IS AMAZING and you don't even have to try. But yeah, that's ridiculous for her to mention a girl with a short skirt/dress... completely irrelevant. Sounds like she thinks her son is what we call a 'special snowflake'..."

"There's nothing wrong with being upset you can't pay for a college your child loves. But the amount of condescending bs in this makes me mad."

"I think the bigger issue is our development as a society. If something as insignificant as a skirt brings you to tears, youre the one who needs to be reevaluating your life decisions and not your son. Lets chalk it up to this lady being clinically insane."

"This article is bad and she should feel bad."

We are not impressed.

 

[e5fdny]

Keep in mind that there is nothing about the Rutgers name that suggests that it is a major state university as opposed to an elite private institution. Probably most outside the region assume that, as a B1G school, we are more like Northwestern than anything else.

Except Northwestern's full name is not "Northwestern, the State University of Illinois"

It not like it not on our website or anything so I can see those people far away might be confused....:rolleyes:

http://www.rutgers.edu/

 

[retired711]

Except Northwestern's full name is not "Northwestern, the State University of Illinois"

It not like it not on our website or anything so I can see those people far away might be confused....:rolleyes:

http://www.rutgers.edu/

I don't think most people know our full name, Not everyone views our web page or even has a reason to search for us. And frankly, the branding Rutgers puts out does not emphasize "state university of New Jersey" as much as it used to when I came to Rutgers thirty years ago..