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The Shortest Books Ever Written: Kyle Flood Edition

How to explain away Incompetence, (Such as were young) (We are competitors) (We gained valuable experience)
 
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"Right Place, Right Time...The Story of How I Became a Big Ten Head Football Coach"

"...It was a dreary, grey, late January afternoon in 2012..."

"....Kyle, it's Tim. Yeah, Mario isn't coming. Listen, Khas and I were talking and we think you are the man for the job. How would you like to be the head coach?...."

"....Greg told me that he'd love to take me to Tampa but that he felt I was the best man to carry on chop, F.A.M.I.L.Y. and T.B.A. He also said that as long as I didn't rape or kill anyone, Rutgers would never have the money or the stomach to fire me..."

"...It was the Monday of Pitt game week when I got the call from Mr. Pernetti. "Kyle, it's a done deal, you can tell the team it's official. We are going to the Big Ten!" The team was so excited we proceeded to lose our last 3 games to close out the season, missed out on our first ever outright conference championship and although we wouldn't go 1-0 again until Week 2 of the 2013 season, I had fulfilled a life long dream; I was going to be a Big Ten head football coach"...
 
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"Kyle's Learning Method: Doing The Same Thing Over and Over...(even if it isn't working)"
 
"Other Power 5 Schools Who Would Prefer Me to Their Coach"

And the sequels

"Other FBS Schools Who Would Prefer Me to Their Coach"
"Other FCS Schools Who Would Prefer Me to Their Coach"
"Other D2 Schools Who Would Prefer Me to Their Coach"
"Other D3 Schools Who Would Prefer Me to Their Coach"
"Other High Schools Who Would Prefer Me to Their Coach"
"Other Pee Wee teams Who Would Prefer Me to Their Coach"
 
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"Great Jewish Sports Legends"

You said short reads right?
I see all manner of sensitivity training has failed you. Check your calendar.. It is 2015. Time to lose religious and race-based jokes. Fat people are still in season for some reason.
 
"See How My Cool Sneakers Light Up When I Walk: I Got Stain"....A Recruiting Guide By Head Coach Kyle Flood
 
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