Gay ex-Rutgers college football player says stress of staying in the closet forced him to retire

[tom1944]

My nephew died after surgery required because of colitis. He was 17.

Taking the call from his mother informing us he died and then having to call his grandparents was one of the worse things I ever had to do.

 

[BossNJ]

Usual suspects showing their true colors again.

Frothing hyenas have nothing on this crew.

 

[mildone]

Just sucks he didn’t trust his teammates enough to give them a chance to accept him.

You are making an assumption here. What makes you think he didn't hear plenty of homophobic comments from teammates in general, so he didn't feel confident they would accept him if he came out?

I've been playing sports my entire life and there're still plenty of anti-gay attitudes being expressed among athletes. I used to make plenty of joking comments myself, failing to recognize that while I didn't actually have any issue with people being gay, I was being pointlessly insensitive to them without even knowing it. I don't do that anymore, but lots of folks still do.

So maybe what really sucks is that society, while improving a lot with the current generation, is still not very accepting of people who are different from us?

 

[mildone]

My nephew died after surgery required because of colitis. He was 17.

Taking the call from his mother informing us he died and then having to call his grandparents was one of the worse things I ever had to do.

That's pretty awful, sorry you had to go through that.

 

[BossNJ]

You are making an assumption here. What makes you think he didn't hear plenty of homophobic comments from teammates in general, so he didn't feel confident they would accept him if he came out?

I've been playing sports my entire life and there're still plenty of anti-gay attitudes being expressed among athletes. I used to make plenty of joking comments myself, failing to recognize that while I didn't actually have any issue with people being gay, I was being pointlessly insensitive to them without even knowing it. I don't do that anymore, but lots of folks still do.

So maybe what really sucks is that society, while improving a lot with the current generation, is still not very accepting of people who are different from us?

Why are you questioning him, he clearly knows what’s best for someone who is multiple demographic groups removed from him.

Come on man

 

[vkj91]

You are making an assumption here. What makes you think he didn't hear plenty of homophobic comments from teammates in general, so he didn't feel confident they would accept him if he came out?

I've been playing sports my entire life and there're still plenty of anti-gay attitudes being expressed among athletes. I used to make plenty of joking comments myself, failing to recognize that while I didn't actually have any issue with people being gay, I was being pointlessly insensitive to them without even knowing it. I don't do that anymore, but lots of folks still do.

So maybe what really sucks is that society, while improving a lot with the current generation, is still not very accepting of people who are different from us?

No offense but you are like 60 years old when was last time you were in a competitive locker room. While I’m sure there are all types of inappropriate jokes about everything from race to politics to sexuality this generation is very different than yours. When your school tells you it’s normal to think you are a cat, or whatever else you want to be being a homosexual is pretty normal.

 

[vkj91]

Why are you questioning him, he clearly knows what’s best for someone who is multiple demographic groups removed from him.

Come on man

I see you are still content always being wrong. The kid didn’t come out to his team. So it’s obvious he didn’t trust them to accept him in his mind.
Feel free to come back to the other board to defend the last 3 years of being totally wrong on everything. We miss your rants

 

[BossNJ]

I see you are still content always being wrong. The kid didn’t come out to his team. So it’s obvious he didn’t trust them to accept him in his mind.
Feel free to come back to the other board to defend the last 3 years of being totally wrong on everything. We miss your rants

lol, wrong?

You’re all still ignorant tools with misplaced anger. Perpetual victims.

Unfortunately there are more like you than many of us imagined, but one thing is damned sure- it doesn’t make you right about anything.

The country, sadly is morally and ethically bankrupt. We’re in a dark time thanks to you and your braindead contingent. The good news is that this too shall pass, the pendulum always swings back.

 

[Erial_Lion]

No offense but you are like 60 years old when was last time you were in a competitive locker room. While I’m sure there are all types of inappropriate jokes about everything from race to politics to sexuality this generation is very different than yours. When your school tells you it’s normal to think you are a cat, or whatever else you want to be being a homosexual is pretty normal.

Thankfully, society is evolving and those that have issues with homosexuals are dying off or becoming dinosaurs. It reminds me of my grandfather (great man, but a product of his environment and upbringing) complaining that a high school was starting a Polish quarterback...."There is no way a Polack is smart enough to play that position". We went through it with black QBs as well. Thankfully in 2024, you'd never hear someone say something so ignorant.

 

[vkj91]

Thankfully, society is evolving and those that have issues with homosexuals are dying off or becoming dinosaurs. It reminds me of my grandfather (great man, but a product of his environment and upbringing) complaining that a high school was starting a Polish quarterback...."There is no way a Polack is smart enough to play that position". We went through it with black QBs as well. Thankfully in 2024, you'd never hear someone say something so ignorant.

And then Art Sitkowsky proved him right. 😝😉

 

[vkj91]

lol, wrong?

You’re all still ignorant tools with misplaced anger. Perpetual victims.

Unfortunately there are more like you than many of us imagined, but one thing is damned sure- it doesn’t make you right about anything.

The country, sadly is morally and ethically bankrupt. We’re in a dark time thanks to you and your braindead contingent. The good news is that this too shall pass, the pendulum always swings back.

Thanks for proving my point. Yes, the majority of the country is the problem and morally bankrupt. Enjoy Canada.

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

Colitis is a serious illness that can be exacerbated by stress. Colitis can be so bad that people end up having bowel resections and getting colostomies. It's a pretty serious and physically taxing disease.

hmmm... I never considered this from a general medical insurance angle.

That is.. imagine some athlete had a previously undiagnosed health issue like a heart ailment and medically retired. Perfectly reasonable, right? Its just an insurance thing... no one knew.. his or her sport did not cause it.. but the player is insured in some way when the school agrees to take them on.

I hereby REVERSE my take on this medically retired thing and apologize for getting anyone worked up over what I previously assumed was an abuse of the scholarship budget.

It does not matter what the ailment is. We agreed to accept the athlete as is. I'm sure the athletes and school all wants it to work out. To assume someone is milking it was just an unsupportable take by me.

 

[mildone]

No offense but you are like 60 years old when was last time you were in a competitive locker room. While I’m sure there are all types of inappropriate jokes about everything from race to politics to sexuality this generation is very different than yours. When your school tells you it’s normal to think you are a cat, or whatever else you want to be being a homosexual is pretty normal.

I'm not offended and it's a reasonable question. I've coached young people for many years. I've been a gym rat for much of my life. I've been around kids of all ages for many years. Up until a couple years ago, I was playing sports regularly with people ranging in age from HS to mid-70s. So I'm relating what I see from all those experiences up until 2 years ago. Reasonably recent.

We agree that the current generation is, in general, much more tolerant than ever of alternative lifestyles. But not everybody in the current generation is equally tolerant. And I've found that male athletes are one of the groups of people I'm around regularly, even at younger ages, that still hold strongly anti-gay attitudes. Female athletes are vastly more accepting and have been for much longer.

But really, this is all beside the point. The point is not how you or I are experiencing all this.

The point is how this kid was experiencing it. Walk a mile in his shoes.

It's not really our place to judge other people for how comfortable, or not, they are about this sort of thing, is it?

 

[NotInRHouse]

No offense but you are like 60 years old when was last time you were in a competitive locker room. While I’m sure there are all types of inappropriate jokes about everything from race to politics to sexuality this generation is very different than yours. When your school tells you it’s normal to think you are a cat, or whatever else you want to be being a homosexual is pretty normal.

How many times has the cat story been debunked? Should we go for a million and one?

You're also drawing inferences. The story said GS knew and was supportive. You're assuming no one on the team knew. That seems unlikely.

Also, the story clearly states he went to a school that kicked people out for being gay. That was obviously a trauma, and obviously was applying to Gen Z and now Alpha. Obviously those attitudes trickle down.

Yeah it's not the same at all but by his own account it's still not what you are portraying.

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

DOGE - LOL. We don’t even know if the guy is still here and you’re getting all lathered up over one scholie. I’m sure all 85 are ready to pull the trigger on this. Give it a rest.

After reading a post about this ailment possibly being genetic I have reversed my thought on the subject completely... you were correct.

 

[ClassOf02]

I see you are still content always being wrong. The kid didn’t come out to his team. So it’s obvious he didn’t trust them to accept him in his mind.
Feel free to come back to the other board to defend the last 3 years of being totally wrong on everything. We miss your rants

But according to the article, he did come out to Schiano, and he mentioned in his YouTube vlog that was a massively uncomfortable thing for him to do (and kudos to GS for supposedly handling it very well). Who knows the specifics of what followed from there, but he seems to have handled it in a pretty mature way.

It may be “obvious that he didn’t trust them (his team) to accept him.” It also may be true that the locker room consistently welcomes gay slurs, comments, etc. I don’t think anything is “obvious” to any of us on a message board. We simply don’t know.

Now…social media/influencer stuff? Not my bag, but I won’t be overly critical about that…….if I was, I’d have a problem with about 2 billion teens & young adults and no reason to specifically call out this one individual.

 

[BossNJ]

Thanks for proving my point. Yes, the majority of the country is the problem and morally bankrupt. Enjoy Canada.

But it’s not “the majority of the country.” But you wouldn’t know that since your “fact” overlords haven’t told you and won’t.

Thanks for proving my point

 

[NotInRHouse]

But according to the article, he did come out to Schiano, and he mentioned in his YouTube vlog that was a massively uncomfortable thing for him to do (and kudos to GS for supposedly handling it very well). Who knows the specifics of what followed from there, but he seems to have handled it in a pretty mature way.

It may be “obvious that he didn’t trust them (his team) to accept him.” It also may be true that the locker room consistently welcomes gay slurs, comments, etc. I don’t think anything is “obvious” to any of us on a message board. We simply don’t know.

Now…social media/influencer stuff? Not my bag, but I won’t be overly critical about that…….if I was, I’d have a problem with about 2 billion teens & young adults and no reason to specifically call out this one individual.

I am listening to the video now and he specifically says 1) he did not feel any specific hate at RU, just that he felt the sport was a difficult environment and always felt so and 2) he says he's still at RU, so if he felt hate and not supported, he'd presumably have left and 3) that he told his friends, and based on even the pic in the article you'd think that includes Patel at the minimum.

So all around, it's 1) exactly the opposite of what he said and 2) a positive story and 3) reflects RU and GS quite well.

 

[bac2therac]

lol, wrong?

You’re all still ignorant tools with misplaced anger. Perpetual victims.

Unfortunately there are more like you than many of us imagined, but one thing is damned sure- it doesn’t make you right about anything.

The country, sadly is morally and ethically bankrupt. We’re in a dark time thanks to you and your braindead contingent. The good news is that this too shall pass, the pendulum always swings back.

you need joy in your life

 

[bac2therac]

But it’s not “the majority of the country.” But you wouldn’t know that since your “fact” overlords haven’t told you and won’t.

Thanks for proving my point

hahaha fact overlords...thats funny....we know the truth now

 

[BossNJ]

hahaha fact overlords...thats funny....we know the truth now

Dude, you’ll never know the truth.

That ship sailed long ago

 

[RUTGERS95]

Thankfully, society is evolving and those that have issues with homosexuals are dying off or becoming dinosaurs. It reminds me of my grandfather (great man, but a product of his environment and upbringing) complaining that a high school was starting a Polish quarterback...."There is no way a Polack is smart enough to play that position". We went through it with black QBs as well. Thankfully in 2024, you'd never hear someone say something so ignorant.

if you think this thread has this responses because people have an issue with him being gay then you sir are fking dumb and should log off and not come back.

that said, your narrative is wrong as the younger generation is skewing further right of center than what the country is. Kids today are fed up, angry, and much meaner than we were as kids. Get out of your bubble, expand your mind lest you lose the future

 

[RUTGERS95]

I am listening to the video now and he specifically says 1) he did not feel any specific hate at RU, just that he felt the sport was a difficult environment and always felt so and 2) he says he's still at RU, so if he felt hate and not supported, he'd presumably have left and 3) that he told his friends, and based on even the pic in the article you'd think that includes Patel at the minimum.

So all around, it's 1) exactly the opposite of what he said and 2) a positive story and 3) reflects RU and GS quite well.

great post

 

[Kbee3]

hahaha fact overlords...thats funny....we know the truth now

Dude, you’ll never know the truth.

That ship sailed long ago

So, so true. 👍

 

[yesrutgers01]

Many things I took from the Article and from responses in here.

The kid stated it started from his childhood upbringing- Christian Private School and Football in Texas. And if anyone wants to tell me that those two institutions are acceptable to alternative lifestyles, then you are a complete idiot.

And though a locker-room may be different in 2024 then it was in 2010 or so- A gay player may be tolerated but he certainly is not accepted. He will be the brunt of jokes to many other players and will most likely have a couple of guys that stand by his side and completely accept him. But that will still be the minority.
And let's say it is a lockerroom of 100 football players- there is no chance in hell that all 100 are going to either be acceptable or pleasant- a good majority will still bully.
The funny thing is- there are most likely another 5-10 gay players on any given team. If it is now so acceptable - why haven't they come out.

This is a normal story- gay or anything else- the stress people face with something like this is not like anything many of us have ever faced.

I am glad that the story is out and that Greg was there to support the kid. It is sad that it led to or made a horrible disease worse.

Some of you are really pathetic.

 

[Scarlet1984]

This thread has been unsettling for me. It’s hard to see people (very few people, many posts from them) going to such lengths to rationalize being unkind.

I was interested to learn this young man’s perspective/experience, which is fairly unique.

However, also heartwarming to know how empathetic Greg was. He loves those players is a very fatherly way. He’s a good guy.

 

[ruinac]

This thread has been unsettling for me. It’s hard to see people (very few people, many posts from them) going to such lengths to rationalize being unkind.

I was interested to learn this young man’s perspective/experience, which is fairly unique.

However, also heartwarming to know how empathetic Greg was. He loves those players is a very fatherly way. He’s a good guy.

You’re not persuaded by the hard-ass jocks ITT and their slurs that there would be no issues if a football player where to came out to his teamates?

 

[megadrone]

This thread has been unsettling for me. It’s hard to see people (very few people, many posts from them) going to such lengths to rationalize being unkind.

I was interested to learn this young man’s perspective/experience, which is fairly unique.

However, also heartwarming to know how empathetic Greg was. He loves those players is a very fatherly way. He’s a good guy.

Not to turn off the main point/hijack the thread, but for every coaching gaffe GS makes, something like this comes out and I know that our program is in the right hands.

I'd rather have a 7-5, 6-6 clean program than a NC caliber, win at all costs program. My $0.02

 

[Knight Shift]

Many things I took from the Article and from responses in here.

The kid stated it started from his childhood upbringing- Christian Private School and Football in Texas. And if anyone wants to tell me that those two institutions are acceptable to alternative lifestyles, then you are a complete idiot.

And though a locker-room may be different in 2024 then it was in 2010 or so- A gay player may be tolerated but he certainly is not accepted. He will be the brunt of jokes to many other players and will most likely have a couple of guys that stand by his side and completely accept him. But that will still be the minority.
And let's say it is a lockerroom of 100 football players- there is no chance in hell that all 100 are going to either be acceptable or pleasant- a good majority will still bully.
The funny thing is- there are most likely another 5-10 gay players on any given team. If it is now so acceptable - why haven't they come out.

This is a normal story- gay or anything else- the stress people face with something like this is not like anything many of us have ever faced.

I am glad that the story is out and that Greg was there to support the kid. It is sad that it led to or made a horrible disease worse.

Some of you are really pathetic.

You’re not persuaded by the hard-ass jocks ITT and their slurs that there would be no issues if a football player where to came out to his teamates?

Wonder how a gay player would have felt in the Northwestern locker room a couple of years ago before Fitz was canned.

• "Running": A punishment that "consisted of 8-10 upperclassmen, dressed in masks, holding down a player, and dry humping the player in a dark locker room."
• "Shrek claps": When "upperclassmen on the team would run around" a player who made a mistake in practice "while clapping their hands above the head" of the teammate.
• "Carwash": A "tradition" that consisted of "players lining up, standing naked, and spinning around the entrance of the showers so that all freshman players were forced to rub up against the line of men to get to their showers."
• "Naked center-quarterback exchange": Another "tradition" that called for freshmen to execute a routine center-quarterback snap while both were naked.
• "Gatorade shake challenge": When freshmen were forced to drink as many Gatorade shakes as possible in 10 minutes, and if they refused they would be subjected to "running."

Northwestern football hazing included naked human 'carwashes,' lawsuit says

It's the first civil action taken since longtime Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald was fired last week.

www.nbcnews.com

 

[yesrutgers01]

Wonder how a gay player would have felt in the Northwestern locker room a couple of years ago before Fitz was canned.

• "Running": A punishment that "consisted of 8-10 upperclassmen, dressed in masks, holding down a player, and dry humping the player in a dark locker room."
• "Shrek claps": When "upperclassmen on the team would run around" a player who made a mistake in practice "while clapping their hands above the head" of the teammate.
• "Carwash": A "tradition" that consisted of "players lining up, standing naked, and spinning around the entrance of the showers so that all freshman players were forced to rub up against the line of men to get to their showers."
• "Naked center-quarterback exchange": Another "tradition" that called for freshmen to execute a routine center-quarterback snap while both were naked.
• "Gatorade shake challenge": When freshmen were forced to drink as many Gatorade shakes as possible in 10 minutes, and if they refused they would be subjected to "running."

Northwestern football hazing included naked human 'carwashes,' lawsuit says

It's the first civil action taken since longtime Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald was fired last week.

www.nbcnews.com

But the experts here want to tell us these things don't happen.

 

[Knight Shift]

But the experts here want to tell us these things don't happen.

Not going to get into specifics, but see lots of younger straight males in their 20s still throwing around homophobic and transphobic slurs. Times change, and what was funny even 5 or 10 years ago hurts and negatively impacts people belonging to these groups. Have close friends and family members who are gay and trans and direct observation and discussions about this. It's easy to deny if you are not one of "them." Will say that throwing around slurs by one group may not in itself be intended to be malicious, particularly, if the group is not aware someone among them may be impacted. But the slurs still hurt and make people feel like they are unwanted by the group. In a team environment, the feeling is awful.

 

[vkj91]

Wonder how a gay player would have felt in the Northwestern locker room a couple of years ago before Fitz was canned.

• "Running": A punishment that "consisted of 8-10 upperclassmen, dressed in masks, holding down a player, and dry humping the player in a dark locker room."
• "Shrek claps": When "upperclassmen on the team would run around" a player who made a mistake in practice "while clapping their hands above the head" of the teammate.
• "Carwash": A "tradition" that consisted of "players lining up, standing naked, and spinning around the entrance of the showers so that all freshman players were forced to rub up against the line of men to get to their showers."
• "Naked center-quarterback exchange": Another "tradition" that called for freshmen to execute a routine center-quarterback snap while both were naked.
• "Gatorade shake challenge": When freshmen were forced to drink as many Gatorade shakes as possible in 10 minutes, and if they refused they would be subjected to "running."

Northwestern football hazing included naked human 'carwashes,' lawsuit says

It's the first civil action taken since longtime Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald was fired last week.

www.nbcnews.com

Wasn’t this basically debunked. Didn’t the team come out and say it was all or mostly made up by 1 player who didn’t see the field and was looking for an excuse to transfer.

 

[Knight Shift]

Wasn’t this basically debunked. Didn’t the team come out and say it was all or mostly made up by 1 player who didn’t see the field and was looking for an excuse to transfer.

You are going to believe "the team?" Multiple lawsuits are still pending as of two weeks ago against the University and Fitzgerald. One case settled/dismissed.

Not meant as an affront, but you seem to want to believe that hazing and/or slurs against gays does not occur in college athletics. Maybe I'm misreading your posts.

Ex-Northwestern ADs dropped from hazing suits

Former athletic director and current ACC commissioner Jim Phillips and university president Michael Schill are among a group of defendants who have been removed from the hazing lawsuits filed by former Northwestern athletes.

www.espn.com

 

[vkj91]

You are going to believe "the team?" Multiple lawsuits are still pending as of two weeks ago against the University and Fitzgerald. One case settled/dismissed.

Not meant as an affront, but you seem to want to believe that hazing and/or slurs against gays does not occur in college athletics. Maybe I'm misreading your posts.

Ex-Northwestern ADs dropped from hazing suits

Former athletic director and current ACC commissioner Jim Phillips and university president Michael Schill are among a group of defendants who have been removed from the hazing lawsuits filed by former Northwestern athletes.

www.espn.com

I don’t believe that it doesn’t happen. Just doesn’t happen the way people here or the media want us to believe. I mean I’m only surrounded by D1 athletes on a daily basis. What would I know.

 

[NotInRHouse]

Not going to get into specifics, but see lots of younger straight males in their 20s still throwing around homophobic and transphobic slurs. Times change, and what was funny even 5 or 10 years ago hurts and negatively impacts people belonging to these groups. Have close friends and family members who are gay and trans and direct observation and discussions about this. It's easy to deny if you are not one of "them." Will say that throwing around slurs by one group may not in itself be intended to be malicious, particularly, if the group is not aware someone among them may be impacted. But the slurs still hurt and make people feel like they are unwanted by the group. In a team environment, the feeling is awful.

I think there is a bifurcation on this and it's probably less likely at a place like RU but still not entirely absent. We're probably at the point that being homophobic as a RU student would be frowned upon (especially by any women you're aiming to impress) but behind close doors nasty comments are still there.

 

[S.W.A.I.N]

The whole story is based on the 1 single fact and wouldn't be here except for it

Not fact, opinion of the subject, if you bothered to read the article instead of excitedly getting on a soapbox.

“I went about my life for so long trying to fit that mold and hide who I was and it really, really wrecked me,” Eldridge said in a video posted to his channel, “To the point where I ended up in the hospital from ulcerative colitis because I was triggered by stress. And the stress, in my opinion, was me faking my life every day to please those around me rather than please myself.”

 

[Knight Shift]

I don’t believe that it doesn’t happen. Just doesn’t happen the way people here or the media want us to believe. I mean I’m only surrounded by D1 athletes on a daily basis. What would I know.

I'm aware of your background. But you are taking the rutgersal and RU#s approach to the stadium noise/music/presentation that "if I don't see it or it doesn't bother me, it doesn't exist." (heavily paraphrased). Maybe the places you have been and are at have excellent compliance programs. Media/Schmedia. To a degree, one side of the media goes off the deep end at the slightest hint of an issue that may not be there, but on the other hand, the other side is quick to dismiss every case. While not in the athletics environment, I have personally observed behavior that has negatively impacted queer people (not using that term in the pejorative), and I'm not some rainbow flag-flying activist. If I don't say so myself, I'm objective about these things, and don't get all emotional even when it involves someone close to me.

 

[ashokan]

A "phobia" is a psychological disorder.
In that case, the company line holds that people with disorders should not be condemned for things they cant control.
However when it comes to resistance to transmogrified sexual behaviors/identity disorders the "phobia" harassment is encouraged and sanctified .

I never liked stepping in dog mess as a kid playing in the grass - nobody taught me that and i didn't live in fear.
It was common sense to resist stepping in something so foul smelling - only later did I learn it can cause things like hookworm.
So avoiding things like stepping in dog doo is not irrational.

Likewise, as man that likes women, the idea of oinking one in the bottom never appealed to me.
On the surface I clearly saw it was a degrading act pretty far removed from natural decency.
No guy can take a women he should respect and honor and so such things to her.
While some say social norms are relaxed now, the aren't relaxed to those opposed to degrading acts.
The correlation between the two is a key - the "evolution" toward acceptance really isn't there - its just upside down.

Polls and studies show around a third of women try le oink and most don't like it and give it up - they realize its degrading

"The study analyzed sex data from the National Survey of Family Growth and specifically looked at a nationally representative sample of 10,463 straight, sexually active women between the ages of 15 and 44. Researchers discovered that 36.3 percent of the women surveyed said they’ve tried a_al sex a least once in their lives. Apparently they didn’t like it all that much because only 13.2 percent said they had a_al within the last 12 months."

Women were also at risk of more diseases

"Researchers also discovered a disturbing trend: Women were “significantly” less likely to use condoms for anal sex than vaginal sex, putting them at a greater risk for contracting an STI... If you have anal sex or are interested in trying anal sex, have your guy wear a condom. Pregnancy may not be a concern, but you can still get a slew of STIs from back-door sex."

So for me personally I don't even need to move away from male/female relations to see certain behaviors violate the sciences of anatomy and hygiene. Those are time proven facts and erasing them is no sign of generational sophistication - just the opposite

 

[vkj91]

I'm aware of your background. But you are taking the rutgersal and RU#s approach to the stadium noise/music/presentation that "if I don't see it or it doesn't bother me, it doesn't exist." (heavily paraphrased). Maybe the places you have been and are at have excellent compliance programs. Media/Schmedia. To a degree, one side of the media goes off the deep end at the slightest hint of an issue that may not be there, but on the other hand, the other side is quick to dismiss every case. While not in the athletics environment, I have personally observed behavior that has negatively impacted queer people (not using that term in the pejorative), and I'm not some rainbow flag-flying activist. If I don't say so myself, I'm objective about these things, and don't get all emotional even when it involves someone close to me.

To think it doesn’t happen or that some teammates wouldn’t be accepting would be idiotic. But again, I deal with athletes from all backgrounds, towns, and economic situations daily. I’ve never heard any of them use a homophobic slang. I’ve heard more N words, white boy jokes, mom crap and references to kids being dumb than I’d care to. I just think this generation is way more open and accepting of kids being gay. They go to school with kids who think they are cats and dogs after all.

 

[Shelby65]

I'm not offended and it's a reasonable question. I've coached young people for many years. I've been a gym rat for much of my life. I've been around kids of all ages for many years. Up until a couple years ago, I was playing sports regularly with people ranging in age from HS to mid-70s. So I'm relating what I see from all those experiences up until 2 years ago. Reasonably recent.

We agree that the current generation is, in general, much more tolerant than ever of alternative lifestyles. But not everybody in the current generation is equally tolerant. And I've found that male athletes are one of the groups of people I'm around regularly, even at younger ages, that still hold strongly anti-gay attitudes. Female athletes are vastly more accepting and have been for much longer.

But really, this is all beside the point. The point is not how you or I are experiencing all this.

The point is how this kid was experiencing it. Walk a mile in his shoes.

It's not really our place to judge other people for how comfortable, or not, they are about this sort of thing, is it?

It should not our place, true, but politicians of a specific stripe feel it is because ‘the deplorables’ put them in office.