The Official Chris Ash Guide to New Jersey

[rufullerton]

1) We don't have time to say "you're welcome" in NJ just say "yup"
2) Yellow traffic light means the car in front, you and the car behind you will be testing 0-60 acceleration

 

[BigRnj]

Just a few of MANY remarkable facts and firsts for NJ: first U.S. brewery, first drive in theatre, first diner, highest crop yield per acre, at or near top producer of cranberries, blueberries, and peaches, most horses per square mile, first Boardwalk, the lightbulb and phonograph were invented here, Miss America, first submarine, first steam locomotive, first ferry service, first seaside resort, first professional basketball game, first organized baseball game, and .... THE BIRTHPLACE OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!

Share a few of these with the folks down on the farm when that ask about Jersey. There are many more...

 

[R1776U]

only freakin benny's say "down the shore" us locals go to the BEACH

 

[R1776U]

If you want a taste of the South for a moment, go to the Pineys. It is south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

.

derp! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason–Dixon_line

 

[RUnTeX]

I swear I read the OP's title of this thread as "The Official Chris Ash GUIDO of New Jersey" and it cracked me the hell up.

 

[RUfromNJ]

While stopped at a traffic light, make sure to start rolling forward prior to the light turning green. Otherwise, you WILL be honked at.

 

[RUaMoose]

2. In New Jersey, it is not rude to interrupt someone.

Actually it is.

 

[fatsam98]

Action Park actually reopened recently for all you thrill seekers.

 

[saran]

The Ash klan should be able familiar with NJ type weather

 

[NickKnight 1]

Oh Lord here we go again..."Taylor Ham" is a company. "Pork Roll" is a product.

Taylor ham was the original, then the copy cats came latter. The
inventor (if that is the right word) was the Taylor people. Got to
go I half to go and cut my "Taylor ham with a pair of scissors"

 

[Knight Shift]

Don't go to Subway. Trust us on this one.

Go to Subway only to get the latest player rumors. We are still waiting on Chas Dodd to transfer. Then go get a sub at Tastee Subs.

 

[Knight Shift]

When someone says "how ya doin'", that is not a question, and don't answer. The proper reply is "how ya doin'"

 

[rufullerton]

In a bagel shop don't just say "bagel with cream cheese". You have to pick from over 10 varieties.

 

[RUskoolie]

Eat or be eaten.

Only the strong survive in this state.

 

[Machiavelli23]

Taylor Ham.

And we are the center of the universe -- we're RUTGERS.

Taylor ham, egg, and cheese

 

[batts]

They are NOT from Jersey. Well, most of them are not.

 

[imbazza]

There is less traffic in the truck lanes of the NJ Turnpike if you're man enough to drive there.

Use the truck lane when in a hurry. The Nazis state troopers put the speed traps up on the car lanes not as much as the Truck lanes.
And Head coach or not if you are doing less then 80 in the left lane
I will Frack'in run you off the road; welcome to Jersey, Ash Hole!

 

[The RUT]

When someone is talking about The Boss, they're not talking about their boss, they're talking about Bruce Springsteen.

 

[beaced]

We Hebrews didn't have pork roll. So for ash, when he gets invited to a bagel brunch at Hillel, that pink stuff is lox, not smoked salmon.

Don't be cheap.Make it Nova(not sliced Gary) and give him a break.

 

[Upstream]

only freakin benny's say "down the shore" us locals go to the BEACH

You can't really be that dense. The Beach is the strip of sand between the boardwalk and the ocean. The Shore is the region of NJ along the Atlantic coast, extending a few miles inland from the ocean.

Obviously if you are already in Manasquan, you wouldn't say you are going to the Shore. You are already there. Just like if you are standing in front of Alexander Library, you wouldn't say you are going to Rutgers' campus; you are already there.

 

[RUBubba]

Sorry... its Pork Roll.

I go into a deli and order a PECSPK (pronounced "Peck Speck" ) on a roll, the guy behind the counter knows what I'm ordering. No ketchup for me though.

Porkroll Egg Cheese Salt Pepper Ketchup.

 

[TheHandOfChaos]

9. its called pork roll.

You mean Taylor Ham :)

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

If you are recruiting some Italian kid and you are eating some pasta dish... Mention how you like the GRAVY (not sauce). For everyone else feel free to call it tomato sauce.

 

[RUBubba]

It is legal to make a right turn on a red light (unless specifically prohibited by a sign right in front of you)

 

[graystork]

New Jersey jokes you probably haven't heard.

Why was the NJ Turnpike built?
To get non New Jerseyans out of the state as fast as possible while charging them money.

Why doesn't NJ fall into the sea?
Because Pennsylvania sucks.

 

[jellyman]

9) In the north sub or hero are equally acceptable, just don't say hoagie. And avoid Tastees despite what people say.
.

Nope ... I LOVE Tastee's Sub Shop ... love it!

 

[RUbacker]

Oh Lord here we go again..."Taylor Ham" is a company. "Pork Roll" is a product.

If you are a true jersey person it's Taylor ham. Period.

 

[RUbacker]

Go to Subway only to get the latest player rumors. We are still waiting on Chas Dodd to transfer. Then go get a sub at Tastee Subs.

No no no don't tell him to go to taste subs or subway. They suck and don't rep jersey . You need a great deli that makes huge sandwiches with real Italian bread not the fake stuff.

 

[RUforJERSEY]

It is legal to make a right turn on a red light (unless specifically prohibited by a sign right in front of you)

And whatever you do; don't even stop when doing so. Nor check to see if there are any approaching cars to yield to.

 

[R1776U]

You can't really be that dense. The Beach is the strip of sand between the boardwalk and the ocean. The Shore is the region of NJ along the Atlantic coast, extending a few miles inland from the ocean.

Obviously if you are already in Manasquan, you wouldn't say you are going to the Shore. You are already there. Just like if you are standing in front of Alexander Library, you wouldn't say you are going to Rutgers' campus; you are already there.

benny.. go home and stay there forever