Oh and if its not already clear to those with little ones on the spectrum another piece of advice that I don`t remember seeing in this thread is this. While autism is primarily a social disorder with the expression of thoughts and feelings getting the most attention/treatment, understand that it is their interpretation of their immediate environment that often has a hand in their behavior. Does a hard rain on the windows sound like rain or does it sound like gunshots? Do you have hardwood floors that may produce louder sounds when toys are played on it? Sounds can play a big role in producing anxiety and this is a frequent cause of unpredictable behavior. At my school we have carpets in every hall and classroom. We use the same calm paint scheme on most every wall etc.
OT: My kid diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder
- Thread starter RuLaw2004
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I have an 8 year old on the spectrum, diagnosed at 20 months. I also have a neuro-typical 7 year old who has been great for her big brother. Calvin had all of the typical delays and we used traditional therapies (OT, speech, etc) and also employed some alternative therapies (dietary changes, vitamins and supplements, etc) and have watched him grown and develop over the years.
I run an ice hockey program for children with developmental disabilities and my wife is the NJ coordinator for a family support group for those with family members on the spectrum. She or I are always available to talk. While we suspected something was a little different when he was a baby, hearing the actual diagnosis was still shocking and took some time to process as we were flooded with all kinds of information from all different sources. It's scary. It's frightening. We found 'our people' who were there for us and wouldn't even notice if he was doing something different than their typical kids. So we had a lot to consider made some good choices, probably made some bad choices and always did what we felt was best for him. And he's doing well now - integrated 3rd grade class, a few 'friends' (though he still struggles socially), some interest in things like Star Wars and Legos (thank God we moved through the Thomas the Tank Engine phase relatively quickly) and he's generally pretty happy.
Like I said, you want people to talk to we are always available.
I run an ice hockey program for children with developmental disabilities and my wife is the NJ coordinator for a family support group for those with family members on the spectrum. She or I are always available to talk. While we suspected something was a little different when he was a baby, hearing the actual diagnosis was still shocking and took some time to process as we were flooded with all kinds of information from all different sources. It's scary. It's frightening. We found 'our people' who were there for us and wouldn't even notice if he was doing something different than their typical kids. So we had a lot to consider made some good choices, probably made some bad choices and always did what we felt was best for him. And he's doing well now - integrated 3rd grade class, a few 'friends' (though he still struggles socially), some interest in things like Star Wars and Legos (thank God we moved through the Thomas the Tank Engine phase relatively quickly) and he's generally pretty happy.
Like I said, you want people to talk to we are always available.
You're so right to point out sensory issues. Our son used to freak out at any gathering when there was clapping. He has grown to tolerate it and even join in clapping himself. Still, at 22 years old, when we speak to him about something like homework or taking a shower and he is stressed, he often asks us to stop shouting when we are speaking normally. That is the time we try to nearly whisper what we want to say and that helps.
Another thing to consider is whether to be up front with him or her. We were from his earliest days. Not to excuse his behavior but just to acknowledge ASD and not be ashamed of it. No stigma when he realizes more fully as he gets older that he is different in some ways from his siblings and other students.
It is also difficult to know when to indulge their interests or peculiarities and when to try to expand their horizons. Its probably best to do a little of both. Choosing your battles is particularly important. For example, most safety issues are non-negotiable. He can't ride his bike in the street without a helmet but if he wants to wear a coat in the summer, it might be embarrassing but it won't kill him or you. Onlookers can't see the disability so be prepared to be embarrassed in the mall when they run out of Auntie Ann's cinnamon pretzels and you cannot get the President of Auntie Ann's on the phone to fix it. (made all those up but there were plenty of similar ones I must have chosen to forget.)
Another thing to consider is whether to be up front with him or her. We were from his earliest days. Not to excuse his behavior but just to acknowledge ASD and not be ashamed of it. No stigma when he realizes more fully as he gets older that he is different in some ways from his siblings and other students.
It is also difficult to know when to indulge their interests or peculiarities and when to try to expand their horizons. Its probably best to do a little of both. Choosing your battles is particularly important. For example, most safety issues are non-negotiable. He can't ride his bike in the street without a helmet but if he wants to wear a coat in the summer, it might be embarrassing but it won't kill him or you. Onlookers can't see the disability so be prepared to be embarrassed in the mall when they run out of Auntie Ann's cinnamon pretzels and you cannot get the President of Auntie Ann's on the phone to fix it. (made all those up but there were plenty of similar ones I must have chosen to forget.)
Nothing to add except to say what wonderful, caring parents you all are.
I have tremendous respect for all the love and support you've given your children.
Really shows that football and recruiting are inconsequential when you read all this.
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I have tremendous respect for all the love and support you've given your children.
Really shows that football and recruiting are inconsequential when you read all this.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
Oh yeah, definitely. As a little kid, I would only wear pants with elastic waistbands because I thought the regular waistbands felt too restricting. I was also TERRIFIED of fireworks, balloons popping, and gunshots (but now I love fireworks). Certain other sounds, like throat clearing and whiny kids, still irritate me, though.
And for whoever mentioned telling the kid to join as many groups as possible... I did just that, joined a gamut of clubs and teams, but was rarely accepted into the other kids' friendship circles. Which organization had the friendliest people? Drama Club in high school. I was super surprised, and actually looked forward to hanging out with people from there. (I also met my first real crush in Drama Club.) However, if I was in anybody's friendship circles, I was on the edge hanging by my fingertips. I still keep in touch with a few of them, though.
I also rarely, if ever, did anything with my peers outside of school-related activities. Nobody got around to inviting me places between middle and high school. The only time I went out to a movie theater with peers was a forced outing with a counseling group in junior high. The next time I was invited to go see a movie with classmates... grad school. I ended up begging my professor to move the due date for a major project so I could finally go on a movie outing with people my age! (I was invited to parties at RU as an undergrad, and in both of my grad schools. Going to a movie theater seemed like a big deal because it's a traditional place for an outing.)
I didn't meet my closest friend (whom I've mentioned a bunch of times in past threads) until the second year of my second grad program at Rowan, and it was a twist of fate for both of us. He's the closest human friend I've ever had and sees through my Aspergers. He accepts me as a person. (Once he said "f*ck your Aspergers" when we were hanging out at someone's house late one night and I was telling him how rarely I was invited to informal gatherings like that because of my disorder.)
My son was diagnosed at 3 as well. He's now 7. I don't think I can offer you any advice that hasn't already been given. Just know that you are not alone and we are in this together. You're welcome at my tailgates anytime.
Great thread guys and gals. It is worth repeating that if you have yet to see the movie Temple Grandin with Claire Danes check it out.
May I also add this? Find a N.A.T.E. practitioner .Go for a consultation.Ask for patient references and similar patients who are being treated.My adult daughter uses such a practitioner and knows that the practitioner treats young children for a variety of complaints. Her successful practice,more than 10 years,has been built on word of mouth recommendations.As I understand this,the treatments should not interfere with more conventional ones.Good luck.
Like beaced and Local DC have said, we used some non-traditional interventions as well. After our neurologist suggested we look into dietary changes, which we felt had a real positive impact on his development, we found a MAPS (Medical Academy of Pediatric Special Needs) doctor, which used to be known as a DAN doctor. Now we continue to employ both non-traditional and conventional treatments and Calvin is doing really well. He has bad moments and bad days, but overall we're very proud of how hard he's worked and how far he's come.
As someone else said, you are not alone. There are people who are in or have been in the exact same scary spot you may find yourself in now. It was a difficult time for our family - my wife and I had to work hard to get through it together. It was REALLY important for my wife to find people she could talk to and places she could go (play groups and such) where she wouldn't get the looks when our kid would do something 'weird'. We, especially her because she was home all day with the kids, needed support from outside the house and to find 'her people' that were with her on the journey. We would and to some extent still do have play dates (I really hate that term) where the kids wouldn't pay attention to each other. Or one kid would try to play with Cal, but he would just roll his trains around and totally ignore the other kid. And we learned that it was ok; it was an opportunity for my wife to interact with other adults. Otherwise the only adults she would talk to were the therapists that came to the house and me. It was a stressful time but we worked through it and must admit now are a pretty happy couple - which is rare when you look at divorce rates for families with special needs children.
If you have other children, we had to work hard to make sure our daughter (12 months younger and neuro-typical) was getting the attention and focus and opportunities that she needed. In fact, I think she got some benefit of being involved in almost all of Calvin's therapy sessions. She got to sit in on speech and OT and PT before she turned 1! She is a tremendous little sister to her big brother. She gets him and in a lot of ways is a great peer model for him even though she's younger.
As said before, my wife and I are always available to talk/email/listen if you want: tuffer76 at yahoo
As someone else said, you are not alone. There are people who are in or have been in the exact same scary spot you may find yourself in now. It was a difficult time for our family - my wife and I had to work hard to get through it together. It was REALLY important for my wife to find people she could talk to and places she could go (play groups and such) where she wouldn't get the looks when our kid would do something 'weird'. We, especially her because she was home all day with the kids, needed support from outside the house and to find 'her people' that were with her on the journey. We would and to some extent still do have play dates (I really hate that term) where the kids wouldn't pay attention to each other. Or one kid would try to play with Cal, but he would just roll his trains around and totally ignore the other kid. And we learned that it was ok; it was an opportunity for my wife to interact with other adults. Otherwise the only adults she would talk to were the therapists that came to the house and me. It was a stressful time but we worked through it and must admit now are a pretty happy couple - which is rare when you look at divorce rates for families with special needs children.
If you have other children, we had to work hard to make sure our daughter (12 months younger and neuro-typical) was getting the attention and focus and opportunities that she needed. In fact, I think she got some benefit of being involved in almost all of Calvin's therapy sessions. She got to sit in on speech and OT and PT before she turned 1! She is a tremendous little sister to her big brother. She gets him and in a lot of ways is a great peer model for him even though she's younger.
As said before, my wife and I are always available to talk/email/listen if you want: tuffer76 at yahoo
The OP is a friend of mine so I don't believe he'll mind me piggybacking on his thread. Good luck buddy. You guys hang in and I wish you all the best.
Now; does anyone have any first hand knowledge or strong feelings one way or the other about those brain balance programs? My 8 year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD and his mom is considering enrolling him in one those programs here in the Atlanta area. All I know right now is this. These brain balance programs operate on the theory that disorders such as autism, ADHD, Aspergers, ADD etc. are a result of the two sides of the brain not working in conjunction as they should. So they use a single fix approach to all of the above. I also know that these centers operate as franchised businesses and lastly that it is incredibly expensive at a cost of about $6000.00 for a twelve week treatment program. And there is no insurance that they accept that could help offset the cost.All for something that is still the subject of debate withing the medical community as to the validity of these programs and it's odds of success.
Now; does anyone have any first hand knowledge or strong feelings one way or the other about those brain balance programs? My 8 year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD and his mom is considering enrolling him in one those programs here in the Atlanta area. All I know right now is this. These brain balance programs operate on the theory that disorders such as autism, ADHD, Aspergers, ADD etc. are a result of the two sides of the brain not working in conjunction as they should. So they use a single fix approach to all of the above. I also know that these centers operate as franchised businesses and lastly that it is incredibly expensive at a cost of about $6000.00 for a twelve week treatment program. And there is no insurance that they accept that could help offset the cost.All for something that is still the subject of debate withing the medical community as to the validity of these programs and it's odds of success.
I know a lot about them and we can discuss if you like..you can email me at endadhd@gmail.com
I can guide you a bit with suggestions
I can guide you a bit with suggestions
I just wanted to say that I hope you've found plenty of good information on this thread. The resources are there, and so is the potential. The fact that a major University like Rutgers has an entire program/office under CAPS dedicated to Aspergers should tell you that. I recommend reading the book, "Journal of Best Practices" by David Finch. One of the greatest struggles for those of us with High Functioning Aspergers is an inability to know whether what we're doing is because of Aspergers, or because of just being a human being. If you have any questions, or are looking for contacts, please, please reach out to me!
Best thread I've seen in years, maybe ever. I used to chair the ed psych department at RU and worked with Jan Handleman and Sandy Harris over the years. Wonderful people. Really a shame that we lost Jan; he was a great guy.
My guess on the increased diagnoses is that it is a combination of a broadened definition and heightened awareness. How many folks do you know as adults who are awkward in social settings, don't pick up on social cues, or cannot read people's expressions or body language?
When I was a kid those were people who were "socially awkward." Today they are more likely to have a diagnosis, and to get some help working through difficulties. But we also see parents here who deal with more severe aspects of ASD in their kids, and their advice here looks really sound to me.
If you are a parent with a child with challenges, you're going to have to be assertive to get what you need for your child. But I cannot tell you how many times I have seen parents who have children with challenges turn into real champions. God speed.
My guess on the increased diagnoses is that it is a combination of a broadened definition and heightened awareness. How many folks do you know as adults who are awkward in social settings, don't pick up on social cues, or cannot read people's expressions or body language?
When I was a kid those were people who were "socially awkward." Today they are more likely to have a diagnosis, and to get some help working through difficulties. But we also see parents here who deal with more severe aspects of ASD in their kids, and their advice here looks really sound to me.
If you are a parent with a child with challenges, you're going to have to be assertive to get what you need for your child. But I cannot tell you how many times I have seen parents who have children with challenges turn into real champions. God speed.
