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OT: Parochial school, when is best time to start

I had a friend who built a mansion in Colts Neck and sent his kids to CBA. I think it was mainly for sports, but one kid ended up being the valedictorian. Both have done well.

They are very nice kids.
I love Colts Neck
Growing in up Readington, CN reminds me of my youth
Just a beautiful area
 
Good ole St. Joes. I grew up in East Brunswick and they were our biggest basketball rivals. I always played well in their gym. Got 34 points one game (I think my junior year).
Crazy how many guys they've had that made the league
My buddy played AAU w/Jay Williams in 8th grade
I'm watching a practice and Williams is dominating unlike anything I've ever seen
I ask my buddy about him and he says the guy is salt of the earth, one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet
After practice I go over and shoot the shit with him, just a regular teenager at the toime which was remarkeable given his abilty
 
While not a parochial school my sons will both be going to private school. Our plan is to have them stay through 6th grade in public school (5/6 is in its own building) and then repeat 6th grade at private school. This will give the important middle school years in the school we want them in through 12th grade.

I think it all depends on the quality and size of the elementary school and when the schools split.
Are t you working at Lawrenceville now
 
So did I
It was secular as hell

Sure there were religious clubs, but it doesn't feed the soul like a true religious school would
Never mind all of the other stuff currently going on there that wasn't around 25 years ago

Having only 1 child, we are able to focus our attention soley on her
Hence, willing to sacrifice a bit of the academic prowess of the publics in exchange for religious aspect of a catholic institution

I look at it as you can't put a price tag on one's soul
Meaning, especially in this current climate we all reside in, it's imperative to get the kid right w/God at a young age, regardless of the sacrifice
Unfortunately it is equally possible or that by doing this you force her away from the aspects of religion that are positive. I do not know you or your family I am simply saying that most kids disregard the religious aspect of Catholic schools
 
Crazy how many guys they've had that made the league
My buddy played AAU w/Jay Williams in 8th grade
I'm watching a practice and Williams is dominating unlike anything I've ever seen
I ask my buddy about him and he says the guy is salt of the earth, one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet
After practice I go over and shoot the shit with him, just a regular teenager at the toime which was remarkeable given his abilty
I was little before Jay's time, but St. Joes was always good. We had a top-20 Star Ledger team one year and our only regular season losses were against St. Joes and St. Anthony's.

Speaking of which, playing St. Anthony's in a holiday tourney was one HELL of a rude awakening. They didn't have anyone super elite that year, but all starters were D1 talent. We got f'ing slaughtered. Seriously, we could have been playing the Knicks it was so bad.
 
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Unfortunately it is equally possible or that by doing this you force her away from the aspects of religion that are positive. I do not know you or your family I am simply saying that most kids disregard the religious aspect of Catholic schools
I agree and that's something we've taken into consideration as well
Fortunately she enjoys religion, reading the bible, and looks forward to church and CCD right now
As an only child, we try to have transparent conversations with her about many different things, and as of now, although it will be different and a challenge (at least initially), she appears excited to go there when it happens
 
I was little before Jay's time, but St. Joes was always good. We had a top-20 Star Ledger team one year and our only regular season losses were against St. Joes and St. Anthony's.

Speaking of which, playing St. Anthony's in a holiday tourney was one HELL of a rude awakening. They didn't have anyone super elite that year, but all starters were D1 talent. We got f'ing slaughtered. Seriously, we could have been playing the Knicks it was so bad.
Crazy that St. Ant's closed
My buddy was AD under Hurley a few years before they shut their doors, it would have happened a lot sooner if Hurley didn't work magic there
Crazy too b/c he could have avoided all of that and gone to coach in college, but he never forgot his roots
 
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Maybe. But a home across the border in Middlesex County in Old Bridge or Ocean County would be a step into lower prices. Schools would be lesser but then that wouldn't figure into the calculus. And there's the same offering in home styles, lots of McMansions, bigger lots, suburban neighborhoods. The real walkable towns in Monmouth, Red Bank aside, have lesser schools as well.

I mean I thank people like that who use their high property taxes to fund my public education though it just strikes me as an odd financial choice.
I guess by your logic no one should live in an area with good schools unless they have school-age kids. But keep in mind that the quality of the schools adds to the value of a home. That's a big reason Cherry Hill houses cost so much more than houses in neighboring Merchantville.
 
I was little before Jay's time, but St. Joes was always good. We had a top-20 Star Ledger team one year and our only regular season losses were against St. Joes and St. Anthony's.

Speaking of which, playing St. Anthony's in a holiday tourney was one HELL of a rude awakening. They didn't have anyone super elite that year, but all starters were D1 talent. We got f'ing slaughtered. Seriously, we could have been playing the Knicks it was so bad.
A friend of mine kid played on St Pat's with Kyrie. I used to go to some of the games. He was a backup and was recruited during practice. He went to an Ivy and played.
 
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Absolutely do not start at middle school. It’s difficult enough adapting to the different kind of educational setting, it’s also hard to make all new school friends. Then, the girls’ stressful physical changes. No no no.

Switch now or don’t ever.

Aside: IMO the kid is the kid. The type of school doesn’t change personalities, not even military school.

Save your money.
 
I agree and that's something we've taken into consideration as well
Fortunately she enjoys religion, reading the bible, and looks forward to church and CCD right now
As an only child, we try to have transparent conversations with her about many different things, and as of now, although it will be different and a challenge (at least initially), she appears excited to go there when it happens
That’s great, I actually came back to it later, so things evolve. I am sure that you will make the right decision for your family
 
This is the funny aspect to me. There's probably a lot of places in NJ with lower taxes and cruddy public schools so you would save money. That or living in NYC - depending on how the city income tax could come into play- might make more sense.
I wouldn’t say it’s funny. But I get your point . I had a friend that lived in roselle …basically a couple houses in from Cranford . Had the nicest house in the neighborhood. He wanted Catholic schools so he didn’t need the Cranford price tag .
 
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As someone who attended Catholic school from K-12 I highly recommend, maybe even more so nowadays. Different times then too, probably half of my friends in the neighborhood went as well but almost none of them went to catholic HS. Looking back I’m glad I did for many reasons. If money isn’t an issue just start now
 
I would make the switch this coming school year. Girls get cliquier (spelling?) and cliquier each year. Get her in and making friends now so middle school years she's a part of it already.

I have two kids....my son went to public school elementary and middle school into freshman year of HS, then transferred and finished his last 3 years in Catholic school. He absolutely loved it. My daughter attended Catholic school K-12 (senior now) and also loved it. Every kid is different, but I can tell you that my daughter has a significantly stronger faith than my son and she actually chooses to go to church every weekend, whether we go as a family or not.

We have a good public high school (western monmouth county) and I would say the quality of education is similar to the Catholic HS my kids attended. Big difference is that you have parents, generally speaking, that have a common interest in putting their kids in a different environment than you get in your typical NJ public school. There is an expectation of the school to keep a certain culture or climate. There is more control and less BS to deal with. Kids don't get away with much in school and they have to be respectful when on school grounds.

But I will also say that kids are kids. You cannot totally insulate from bad activities and actions. Kids drink, do drugs, vape, party, and all that stuff. Not everyone is a choir boy/girl. With that said, I have spent a lot of time around my son's friends, as well as my daughter's. Some of the nicest, most respectful kids you can meet. I did not enjoy paying the tuition for the last 12 years, especially the last 3 where I had double HS tuition, but I am glad I did it. We all do what we think is right for our kids based on our beliefs and our intuition...there are a lot of potential paths. Good luck to you with your decision and mostly to your daughter on her path forward.
 
We'll be sending our daughter to parochial school sooner rather than later
There's various reasons why we're doing this, a lot of which have been rehashed here amongst multiple parties in many different threads over the years

My question is when is the best time to do this?
We're located in a good school system in Monmouth County, and our daughter, though well behaved and respectful, has definitely changed over the past year

Some of it is part of growing up IMO, but I'd imagine some of the things she sees and hears (not just in school) is also attributing to this
She's currently in third grade and will start a new school next year for 4th and 5th grade, and will have only been in this current school for one year

The plan would be to send her to the middle school and associated high school where most of the kids from that middle school go to
The issue, besides cost, is when to do it

I'm in favor of pulling the plug next year, while my wife prefers to wait until middle school starts (6th grade)
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

Sent my older son to Catholic school in 7th grade. We probably did this a year too late as he was very immature compared to his peers in public middle school and also needed structure. What also did not help is that many in our area tended to hold their kids (especially boys) back a year in public, so his peers in public were in some cases up to 18 months older....which makes a huge difference. He ended up at Seton Hall Prep and is now as Sophomore at Rutgers. By comparison my younger son is different..... is in Public HS....sophomore. Doing well.

Bottom line for me is that there is not exact formula. Every situation and kid is different so as a parent you make the best choices you can given your kid and situation.
 
Sent my older son to Catholic school in 7th grade. We probably did this a year too late as he was very immature compared to his peers in public middle school and also needed structure. What also did not help is that many in our area tended to hold their kids (especially boys) back a year in public, so his peers in public were in some cases up to 18 months older....which makes a huge difference. He ended up at Seton Hall Prep and is now as Sophomore at Rutgers. By comparison my younger son is different..... is in Public HS....sophomore. Doing well.

Bottom line for me is that there is not exact formula. Every situation and kid is different so as a parent you make the best choices you can given your kid and situation.
What was the rationale of parents holding their kids back? I assume for athletic purposes?
 
What was the rationale of parents holding their kids back? I assume for athletic purposes?
Sometimes but also boys mature later so some parents start their sons later for kindergarten for maturity purposes.

My nephew was the youngest boy in his school class because of the cutoff. He was an All-State lacrosse player who played in college but waiting a year could have really been a benefit.

My friend's son who played at St Pats delayed going from 8th to 9th grade and it was for athletic purposes.
 
As others have noted, each kid is different.

My oldest son went to private day school 1-8 (public k) and did great and then went to Catholic HS half a mile from home.

Youngest went public K-8 and then Catholic HS.

Middle son started in private. Then public 4-8. Went to Catholic HS for a marking period and transferred to public because he didn’t like it.

The guys who went to Catholic HS are basically non-practicing but they know all the words when they go to Mass. The middle son (who spent 2.5 months in Catholic school) is going to a VERY Catholic school now - he is in seminary studying to become a Catholic priest - Diocese of Trenton.

Each kid is different.
 
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We're off 537 near Kozloski like Tom mentioned
Again, not an easy decision as we're both public school educated and one of the main reasons we choose this area was for the schools if we indeed were going to have kids

Ok. So which Catholic schools in commuting distance are better than Freehold Boro or Colts Neck? Certainly not RBC or SJV (or CBA but you have a daughter).
 
I guess by your logic no one should live in an area with good schools unless they have school-age kids. But keep in mind that the quality of the schools adds to the value of a home. That's a big reason Cherry Hill houses cost so much more than houses in neighboring Merchantville.

Well...I mean you have unlimited funds sure. But you're basically paying a premium in NJ often. Not always. I have read that Harding has very low taxes but it sends to Madison which is an excellent HS. My taxes here in JC are very high IMO and the magnet schools are excellent but many of the non-magnet ones are not.

But yeah, I mean, the logic isn't very good in the Shore region at least- there's a lot of meh/bad school towns with much lower taxes. South Jersey I am not as familiar but I always thought Cherry Hill was high taxes. Are there suburban areas outside of the most prestigious school towns like Cherry Hill, Moorestown, Haddonfield, Voorhees that have low taxes and mediocre or poor schools to choose from? Delaware is also an option down there with very low property taxes, whereas up here NYS property taxes are even higher and NYC are low but then you have city income tax.
 
Well...I mean you have unlimited funds sure. But you're basically paying a premium in NJ often. Not always. I have read that Harding has very low taxes but it sends to Madison which is an excellent HS. My taxes here in JC are very high IMO and the magnet schools are excellent but many of the non-magnet ones are not.

But yeah, I mean, the logic isn't very good in the Shore region at least- there's a lot of meh/bad school towns with much lower taxes. South Jersey I am not as familiar but I always thought Cherry Hill was high taxes. Are there suburban areas outside of the most prestigious school towns like Cherry Hill, Moorestown, Haddonfield, Voorhees that have low taxes and mediocre or poor schools to choose from? Delaware is also an option down there with very low property taxes, whereas up here NYS property taxes are even higher and NYC are low but then you have city income tax.
I named a community near Cherry Hill etc. with low taxes and poor schools -- Merchantville. There are others, unfortunately.

Delaware is thirty-five miles down the road; it's hard to see anyone picking it just for low taxes. I have known couples, in fact, where the primary wage earner worked in Delaware but they chose to live in Cherry Hill instead.
 
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Ok. So which Catholic schools in commuting distance are better than Freehold Boro or Colts Neck? Certainly not RBC or SJV (or CBA but you have a daughter).
Commuting wise all of the FTHS schools, sans Manalapan or possibly Marlboro, would be closer
She would take the bus to the parochial school though, which would likely add on 10-15 minutes, or possibly 20, depending on the number of stops and hitting the lights on 34
 
Ok. So which Catholic schools in commuting distance are better than Freehold Boro or Colts Neck? Certainly not RBC or SJV (or CBA but you have a daughter).

“Better” is based on what the parents value and what works best for their child. There is no one metric.

As my mother used to say “It’s easy to spend another person’s paycheck and raise another person’s children.”
 
Well...I mean you have unlimited funds sure. But you're basically paying a premium in NJ often. Not always. I have read that Harding has very low taxes but it sends to Madison which is an excellent HS. My taxes here in JC are very high IMO and the magnet schools are excellent but many of the non-magnet ones are not.

But yeah, I mean, the logic isn't very good in the Shore region at least- there's a lot of meh/bad school towns with much lower taxes. South Jersey I am not as familiar but I always thought Cherry Hill was high taxes. Are there suburban areas outside of the most prestigious school towns like Cherry Hill, Moorestown, Haddonfield, Voorhees that have low taxes and mediocre or poor schools to choose from? Delaware is also an option down there with very low property taxes, whereas up here NYS property taxes are even higher and NYC are low but then you have city income tax.
Typically I'd agree, but then life takes over
When we purchased this home, the plan was to have 2 kids
Hence, the size and location for my wife's job and the schools

Then we had one kid and decided that was enough
But now we're comfortable and don't want to downsize, or move

Although our neighbor next door has a house approx 500 sq ft smaller, and they have their 3rd child on the way.
I offered to him to switch houses, which I think caught him off guard, as we don't need the room and with another kiddo on the way, they would likely need the additional space
 
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Typically I'd agree, but then life takes over
When we purchased this home, the plan was to have 2 kids
Hence, the size and location for my wife's job and the schools

Then we had one kid and decided that was enough
But now we're comfortable and don't want to downsize, or move

Although our neighbor next door has a house approx 500 sq ft smaller, and they have their 3rd child on the way.
I offered to him to switch houses, which I think caught him off guard, as we don't need the room and with another kiddo on the way, they would likely need the additional space

Your neighbor might have thought you were proposing a Kekich- Peterson situation.
 
Your neighbor might have thought you were proposing a Kekich- Peterson situation.
lol he was definitely taken aback but I was dead serious
Right now the kids are small so he's good, but when they get bigger the kids sharing a room thing might be an issue
 
lol he was definitely taken aback but I was dead serious
Right now the kids are small so he's good, but when they get bigger the kids sharing a room thing might be an issue
I was raised in a small house with 4 other siblings. Sharing a room is one of my great memories. My brother was and is a great guy so that made it easy. We were one of the smaller families in the neighborhood.

There was a family up the block with 7 boys and 1 girl and the boys lived in the attic, and each received 1 drawer in a dresser. One of the sons now lives by you in Colts Neck.
 
I was raised in a small house with 4 other siblings. Sharing a room is one of my great memories. My brother was and is a great guy so that made it easy. We were one of the smaller families in the neighborhood.

There was a family up the block with 7 boys and 1 girl and the boys lived in the attic, and each received 1 drawer in a dresser. One of the sons now lives by you in Colts Neck.
Those are great memories
Things were defintely easier back then
Sometimes I wish we could go back in the 80's and live like that
The men were thinner, all had hair, and none were grey at my age !!
 
I named a community near Cherry Hill etc. with low taxes and poor schools -- Merchantville. There are others, unfortunately.

Delaware is thirty-five miles down the road; it's hard to see anyone picking it just for low taxes. I have known couples, in fact, where the primary wage earner worked in Delaware but they chose to live in Cherry Hill instead.

I wouldn’t say Merchantville has low taxes. They actually have fairly high taxes. The houses are smaller and valued less than Cherry Hill so the overall tax amount is less, but the rate for Merchantville is probably top 30 in the state.


Camden County has the highest tax rate of all counties in NJ. There are a ton of very small towns/boroughs in Camden County (Merchantville, Oaklyn, Mt. Ephriam, Barrington, Lawnside, Magnolia, Hi-Nella, Laurel Springs, Pine Hill, Clementon etc.)

All of these towns/boroughs for the most part have their own police, fire, EMS, middle schools, superintendents, public works etc. so the tax rate tends to be very high to pay for all of the services. Some of these towns share services with neighboring towns and there’s been a big push in a lot of these towns to move more and more towards shared services (with push back as well - these towns are very protective over things such as their fire departments).

There are many towns in Camden County that are so small they don’t even have their own high school as they don’t have the population or the tax base.

For example - Barrington, Lawnside and Merchantville all send to Haddon Heights high school (Merchantville is a couple towns over and doesn’t even border Haddon Heights so this is an odd one). Oaklyn sends to Collingswood. Mt. Ephriam sends to Audubon. Magnolia, Hi Nella, Laurel Springs send to Sterling etc.

A lot of the public high schools in Camden County where all of these towns send to are pretty meh for the tax rates that are paid. Unless you are living in a super wealthy town (Haddonfield) or a bigger middle/upper middle class town (Cherry Hill, Voorhees) the public high schools are pretty meh overall for the taxes that are paid.

This is why I think the catholic/private schools in the area are still doing fairly well (Paul VI, Camden Catholic, Gloucester Catholic, Bishop Eustace)…although Eustace did almost close a few years ago.
 
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I wouldn’t say Merchantville has low taxes. They actually have fairly high taxes. The houses are smaller and valued less than Cherry Hill so the overall tax amount is less, but the rate for Merchantville is probably top 30 in the state.


Camden County has the highest tax rate of all counties in NJ. There are a ton of very small towns/boroughs in Camden County (Merchantville, Oaklyn, Mt. Ephriam, Barrington, Lawnside, Magnolia, Hi-Nella, Laurel Springs, Pine Hill, Clementon etc.)

All of these towns/boroughs for the most part have their own police, fire, EMS, middle schools, superintendents, public works etc. so the tax rate tends to be very high to pay for all of the services. Some of these towns share services with neighboring towns and there’s been a big push in a lot of these towns to move more and more towards shared services (with push back as well - these towns are very protective over things such as their fire departments).

There are many towns in Camden County that are so small they don’t even have their own high school as they don’t have the population or the tax base.

For example - Barrington, Lawnside and Merchantville all send to Haddon Heights high school (Merchantville is a couple towns over and doesn’t even border Haddon Heights so this is an odd one). Oaklyn sends to Collingswood. Mt. Ephriam sends to Audubon. Magnolia, Hi Nella, Laurel Springs send to Sterling etc.

A lot of the public high schools in Camden County where all of these towns send to are pretty meh for the tax rates that are paid. Unless you are living in a super wealthy town (Haddonfield) or a bigger middle/upper middle class town (Cherry Hill, Voorhees) the public high schools are pretty meh overall for the taxes that are paid.

This is why I think the catholic/private schools in the area are still doing fairly well (Paul VI, Camden Catholic, Gloucester Catholic, Bishop Eustace)…although Eustace did almost close a few years ago.
Not sure I buy that source. This one has the highest tax rates being in NNJ/CNJ as one would expect with Camden County 14th highest.

https://www.tax-rates.org/new_jersey/property-tax
 
Those are great memories
Things were defintely easier back then
Sometimes I wish we could go back in the 80's and live like that
The men were thinner, all had hair, and none were grey at my age !!
I am much older than going back to the 80's for the good old days.
 
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Not sure I buy that source. This one has the highest tax rates being in NNJ/CNJ as one would expect with Camden County 14th highest.

https://www.tax-rates.org/new_jersey/property-tax


I think you’re mistaken. Key word is tax “rate”.

I’m not talking about overall tax amounts which of course would not be in Camden County as many of the houses in the towns I mentioned are small and probably value in the $250-$400K range. Hunterdon County has the highest overall taxes but their rate is much lower compared to other NJ counties and much larger property values.

From the link you posted:

Camden County has a 2.5% tax as a percentage of value vs. 1.89% for NJ overall (which is highest of all states).

“Camden County has one of the highest median property taxes in the United States and is ranked 23rd of 3143 counties”.
 
I went to public school K-first week of 7th. Then my parents pulled me(hanging with the “wrong crowd”)
Little did they know what those Catholic School girls were like.
Just kidding!

I instantly had a new group of friends. We were a small tight knit group.
Going back to public 9th grade was hard, but I eventually made friends.

I’m sure your daughter will do well with the change. 🙂
 
Why parochial school? If you are religious, then that's a good enough reason.
However, in Monmouth County some good non-parochial options exist.

Take a look at Oak Hill Academy in Lincroft. Uniforms required (at least they were 5-6 years ago. Fantastic preparation for high school, particularly in science and math. Both of our kids went to Oak Hill-one in grades 6-8, the other in grades 4-8. For the 6-8, our school district did not offer a math course appropriate for the level of aptitude, and had suggested sending our kid to high school for math in 6th grade. This did not seem like a good option, as we did not want a 6th grader in the high school. At Oak Hill, there were peers at the same grade level or who were very advanced in math.

For the 4-8, it was a wonderful experience. Not as advanced as the older kid, but still smart. Both kids went to the magnet high schools (Biotech and Allied Health). At the time, I was reluctant to shell out money for private school when we lived in one of the best school districts in the State, but we found the curriculum to be very disappointing. Both are young adults now, thriving, successful respectful and career-focused. In hindsight, we think the investment in Oak Hill was money very well spent.

Funny thing. Our kids road the bus with kids going to Christian Brothers Academy. They said they learned a lot of new bad words on those bus rides.
Cost is significantly different.

Oak Hill - $28,000/yr.
St John Vianney - $16,000/yr.

My children went through parochial entire school careers.

Both at St Francis in Metuchen (k-8) and one to Mother Seton Regional (HS) and one to Bishop Ahr/St. Thomas Aquinas (HS). Great experience with both.
 
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I went to public school K-first week of 7th. Then my parents pulled me(hanging with the “wrong crowd”)
Little did they know what those Catholic School girls were like.
Just kidding!

I instantly had a new group of friends. We were a small tight knit group.
Going back to public 9th grade was hard, but I eventually made friends.

I’m sure your daughter will do well with the change. 🙂
I haven't seen you post here in a long time -- it's good to see you!
 
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What was the rationale of parents holding their kids back? I assume for athletic purposes?
At young ages, even a few months makes a big difference developmentally. Teachers and coaches assume the differences are related to talent or ability. Slightly older kids get screened into gifted/advanced programs at an early age and coached up athletically and academically.

Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers” drives the point home. When he wrote it the majority of the junior national hockey team members in Canada were born in January-March. The age cut-off to sign up was December 31, so the oldest kids appeared more gifted, and the kids got coached up starting at a young age. By the time they were 18 there was a true talent difference. Elite practice in school and sports makes a difference.
 
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