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OT: Teenage party with police, any lawyers out there?

newell138

newell138

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Sorry for the OT on NLOI day but I had a question regarding a house party this past weekend. My daughter who is a senior in HS and age 18 was at a party where alcohol was being served, and yes, the parents were home. The police came and had all the kids there call their parents come to pick them up. My daughter was not drinking (only because she just arrived) I'm not a "not my child" type of parent.

They release her to my custody and I'm assuming that's the end of it but they called today and left a message for me to call the station. Rumor has it they are making all the kids do community service. Do they have the right to do this? Parents were home and she was not drinking.

Not that I am against community service mind you its more a matter of principal. I just don't want them overstepping their boundaries.
 
newell138 said:
Sorry for the OT on NLOI day but I had a question regarding a house party this past weekend. My daughter who is a senior in HS and age 18 was at a party where alcohol was being served, and yes, the parents were home. The police came and had all the kids there call their parents come to pick them up. My daughter was not drinking (only because she just arrived) I'm not a "not my child" type of parent.

They release her to my custody and I'm assuming that's the end of it but they called today and left a message for me to call the station. Rumor has it they are making all the kids do community service. Do they have the right to do this? Parents were home and she was not drinking.

Not that I am against community service mind you its more a matter of principal. I just don't want them overstepping their boundaries.
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Why should she have to do community service if she did nothing wrong? Guilt by association?
Was there a police report?
I was in a position like that quite a few times as a teenager, as I don't drink. I was able to talk my friends out of trouble once in a while, but the police were more lenient and less militant. The parents who hosted the party should be careful. I think a lot of towns impose liability on parents who serve alcohol to people under 21, and people under 21 can get a summons too, even on private property.
 
My thoughts is:

how can the police prove, after the fact, that any single one of those kids actually were drinking?
 
It sounds to me like the police mistook your daughter for a juvenile. Did you sign a release form when you took custody of your daughter from the police? Minor status offenses can be resolved with what are known as Curbside Warnings and Stationhouse Adjustments. The latter can be what happened even if the juveniles were released from the scene. The juvenile officer a the local PD has the statutory authority to assign community service in lieu of filing formal juvenile charges in county court, for minor offenses. As an adult, she probably should have been charged with a Petty Disorderly Persons Offense for being in constructive possession of alcohol while underage. IE: a ticket for a minor offense that is heard in municipal court. Also, if the juveniles are getting juvied, the parents of party thrower should have been charged with providing the alcohol and hosting the party.
 
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Not a lawyer, but I would think that doing community service could be construed as admitting guilt. Also, as someone else noted, was she charged with a crime? Sounds to me like they are punishing the wrong people.
 
I am not sure why YOU have to call them. Your daughter is over 18.

She is an adult.

Like the above video says, don't talk to the cops. If it was anything serious they would come to your home.
 
newell138 said:
no release was signed and she was not drinking, and even if she was what proof do they have?
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As a juvenile, all the police have to prove is your daughter was there and alcohol was present. It is called constructive authority and is a status offense. That's it. That is called Strict Liability.

Before you get too bent about the situation, you should call the juvenile officer. Find out what the status of the case is. That call can either go really good or really bad. But you won't know how to proceed until you call.
 
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If it was my daughter I'd tell her she's an idiot for hanging around morons and to go do the community service. Then I'd go over to the house that threw the party and have a good talking to the parents and tell the husband I have a nice 4' level in my truck with his name written all over it. Sorry if that's not the answer your looking for but my house is run old school. She would have to learn that life isn't always fair and it was her decision to attend the party and her decisions carry consequences. By fighting it you may be sending the wrong message to her. Nice little life lesson with minor consequences.
 
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koleszar said:
If it was my daughter I'd tell her she's an idiot for hanging around morons and to go do the community service. Then I'd go over to the house that threw the party and have a good talking to the parents and tell the husband I have a nice 4' level in my truck with his name written all over it. Sorry if that's not the answer your looking for but my house is run old school. She would have to learn that life isn't always fair and it was her decision to attend the party and her decisions carry consequences. By fighting it you may be sending the wrong message to her. Nice little life lesson with minor consequences.
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+1 million! If she keeps hanging around "morons" - "things" will only get worse. Community service would be a great life experience and which I would not consider as a punishment.
 
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I don't think I will be as harsh as koleszar and quincybog. My boys are 15 and 12, and I will have to face this soon. My parents let me make may own mistakes when I was in high school,and by the time I turned 17, I stopped drinking completely and never had another drink for about 30 years. Friends of mine had super strict parents, and some of them turned out to be the biggest drinkers and druggers I knew. There is no easy answer. I will not be as lax as my parents (which worked for me), but I will not rule with an iron fist.
 
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Not a lawyer. Curious that police can order community service. Isn't that usually handed down by a judge or mediator as a sentence from a judicial hearing or trial?
 
koleszar said:
If it was my daughter I'd tell her she's an idiot for hanging around morons and to go do the community service. Then I'd go over to the house that threw the party and have a good talking to the parents and tell the husband I have a nice 4' level in my truck with his name written all over it. Sorry if that's not the answer your looking for but my house is run old school. She would have to learn that life isn't always fair and it was her decision to attend the party and her decisions carry consequences. By fighting it you may be sending the wrong message to her. Nice little life lesson with minor consequences.
Click to expand...

so you would suggest assaulting someone as the answer? Seems like a logical response. I knew there would be drinking at the party and I trust my daughter to not go overboard when it comes to alcohol. So to go yelling at the parents would not really make sense. I would guess you dont have teenage children? This is my second go round with a teenage daughter and I have come to the decision its better to go with it and manage it, teaching her to be responsible, because its going to happen regardless, unless you lock them in the house every weekend.

I'm not really bent about the situation, just curious if the police are over stepping their boundaries, thats all. I'm not opposed to her doing community service at all.
 
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newell138 said:
so you would suggest assaulting someone as the answer? Seems like a logical response. I knew there would be drinking at the party and I trust my daughter to not go overboard when it comes to alcohol. So to go yelling at the parents would not really make sense. I would guess you dont have teenage children? This is my second go round with a teenage daughter and I have come to the decision its better to go with it and manage it, teaching her to be responsible, because its going to happen regardless, unless you lock them in the house every weekend.

I'm not really bent about the situation, just curious if the police are over stepping their boundaries, thats all. I'm not opposed to her doing community service at all.
Click to expand...
I'm not suggesting assaulting anyone, I went a little overboard there sorry. Would I talk to the parents where the party was thrown absolutely and tell them my displeasure with the situation. Obviously they couldn't keep control of the party thus why the cops were called. As far as parenting skills I'm not questioning yours at all, this is your second go around so you know better than most what to do. I'm sure your daughter is a fine young lady. I'm merely suggesting that it might be a good life lesson to do the community service to teach her that life isn't always fair and who you hang out with could have consequences for you.
 
RU'70 said:
Not a lawyer. Curious that police can order community service. Isn't that usually handed down by a judge or mediator as a sentence from a judicial hearing or trial?
Click to expand...

The police have the option of offering community service to juveniles in lieu of filing a charge to be heard in Juvenile Court. There's a form (basically a contract) between the police and the juvenile's parents where it's agreed some type of community service will be performed for a certain amount of hours and no charges will be filed if the service is performed. If the parents don't accept the offer, charges may be filed. I don't know if that applies since she's an adult but not old enough to drink.
 
newell138 said:
so you would suggest assaulting someone as the answer? Seems like a logical response. I knew there would be drinking at the party and I trust my daughter to not go overboard when it comes to alcohol. So to go yelling at the parents would not really make sense. I would guess you dont have teenage children? This is my second go round with a teenage daughter and I have come to the decision its better to go with it and manage it, teaching her to be responsible, because its going to happen regardless, unless you lock them in the house every weekend.

I'm not really bent about the situation, just curious if the police are over stepping their boundaries, thats all. I'm not opposed to her doing community service at all.
Click to expand...
Yeah don't u know that to teach your kid not to put her self in a situation where she could possibly get in minor trouble for something almost all teenagers do you should assault someone not only mortifying your daughter but also committing a felony yourself by threatening someone or actually beating them. So then when she says dad it's okay for you to break the law by beating someone, why can't I drink ? You can reply drinking which you can do legally in under 3 years is much worse than beating someone which is never legal. That's a great way to teach your kid !
 
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The parents have the responsibility to keep alcohol out of the party
 
formerlyknownasrutgers100 said:
Yeah don't u know that to teach your kid not to put her self in a situation where she could possibly get in minor trouble for something almost all teenagers do you should assault someone not only mortifying your daughter but also committing a felony yourself by threatening someone or actually beating them. So then when she says dad it's okay for you to break the law by beating someone, why can't I drink ? You can reply drinking which you can do legally in under 3 years is much worse than beating someone which is never legal. That's a great way to teach your kid !
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Yeah, yeah, OK I went a little over board like I said in reply to his post. No need to rub it in. But thanks for doing so.[eyeroll]
 
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its quite simple really. Don't call back and don't talk to them. If they come to the house it will be a fishing expedition. So treat that as you see fit.
 
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Your daughter is an adult. If you or I was at a friends house and minors were drinking I believe we could be guilty of some b.s. thing if the cops came. Since she is an adult, I'd take the community service as a blessing.
 
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Couple things here if this happened in NJ (and I'm by no means a lawyer but I believe this is all accurate information)

--In NJ, there's no state law against someone under 21 drinking on someone else's private property, like a house. I guess theoretically there could be a town law against it though.

--Parents can't be penalized for serving their own children alcohol in their own home, but technically could get in trouble for serving/allowing underaged kids to be served.

--Someone under 21 is allowed to be in a room if they aren't drinking, even if alcohol is present and other people are drinking and that person cannot be criminalized after the fact
 
RU85inFla said:
Your daughter is an adult. If you or I was at a friends house and minors were drinking I believe we could be guilty of some b.s. thing if the cops came. Since she is an adult, I'd take the community service as a blessing.
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That's if it's expunged from her record or never put on it.
As an adult she doesn't have her record sealed and though relatively minor incident it could become an employment problem in the future. Thought doubt that would be the case , must always think worse-case scenario when accepting anything that will go on your permanent record.

Contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile could be charged if she even handed a minor
a drink that one of them left on the table she was sitting at.
Surprised that the parents weren't charged, or the police are just trying to gather evidence before deciding if charges will be brought against any or all of the adults at the party

Best call and just let the police say what they want to say and not give any information at all.
Probably nothing to worry about, but prepare for it to be so your daughter doesn't get an unpleasant surprise if she admits to anything in order to just do community service.
 
Terry_2426 said:
Couple things here if this happened in NJ (and I'm by no means a lawyer but I believe this is all accurate information)

--In NJ, there's no state law against someone under 21 drinking on someone else's private property, like a house. I guess theoretically there could be a town law against it though.

--Parents can't be penalized for serving their own children alcohol in their own home, but technically could get in trouble for serving/allowing underaged kids to be served.

--Someone under 21 is allowed to be in a room if they aren't drinking, even if alcohol is present and other people are drinking and that person cannot be criminalized after the fact
Click to expand...
----
Ok, on point two, serving alcohol to non family minors in your house, at a party, is illegal, correct?
 
koleszar said:
If it was my daughter I'd tell her she's an idiot for hanging around morons and to go do the community service. Then I'd go over to the house that threw the party and have a good talking to the parents and tell the husband I have a nice 4' level in my truck with his name written all over it. Sorry if that's not the answer your looking for but my house is run old school. She would have to learn that life isn't always fair and it was her decision to attend the party and her decisions carry consequences. By fighting it you may be sending the wrong message to her. Nice little life lesson with minor consequences.
Click to expand...
Well that's brilliant. These are 18 year old kids. They are adults. In that situation, if you want use the 4' level, use it on your daughter, not anybody else. Nobody else is responsible for her at that age.

I agree about telling her to do the community service though.
 
wheezer said:
The parents have the responsibility to keep alcohol out of the party
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These are 18 year old kids. If the parents didn't provide the alcohol, then I'm not sure I see where they have any responsibility at all.

Not to mention the drinking age should be like 16, not 21. Talk about government overreach.
 
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bottom line is she is an adult. I'd get some legal advise. Frankly there is a ton more leeway if she was a minor but she is not.
 
If Nadir Barnwell or Dre Boggs are reading this, maybe they could recommend a good lawyer.
 
I do not understand how in this day and age parents are still dumb enough to to throw parties and serve minors alcohol. Nothing good can come of it........
 
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vkj91 said:
I do not understand how in this day and age parents are still dumb enough to to throw parties and serve minors alcohol. Nothing good can come of it........
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If they were 18, they weren't minors. Or are you just speaking generally, not about this specific case?
 
mildone said:
These are 18 year old kids. If the parents didn't provide the alcohol, then I'm not sure I see where they have any responsibility at all.

Not to mention the drinking age should be like 16, not 21. Talk about government overreach.
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---------
the party was for seniors in high school..... when I was in high school I was 17 years old for several months, so it could be with some of these
kids

anyway, if the drinking age is 21, then I would think that it is illegal, or should be illegal, to have a party serving alcohol to the under aged..

being 18 should not matter, except for maybe how the court handles it, but still illegal

I am not a fan of parents wants to be their children's friend, being cool, and allowing or providing alcohol to the invitees...... some of the parents
of the kids might not be cool with it.... some parents could be trusting you as a parent here

your opinion of what the age allowed for drinking is just that, an opinion..... you could be right but it does not matter in this situation.
 
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mildone said:
If they were 18, they weren't minors. Or are you just speaking generally, not about this specific case?
Click to expand...
Unless he lives in Montreal, when you are talking about throwing a party with booze anyone under 21 is a minor in my eyes.
 
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