Surfing the net or texting while on the can?

[mildone]

Also i never touch the door handle on the way out.

I use a paper towel for the door handle on the way out when possible. Been doing that ever since I read that most men don't wash their hands after going #2. But it's really kind of pointless because those same men are touching everything else around the office.

Moral of the story: shit happens.

 

[mildone]

To add...

The absolute worst people on earth, next to ISIS, are the people who sit next to you when there are 5 open stalls further away. I usually pick an end stall and every so often someone comes in and sits right next to me when there is no one else in the bathroom. What kind of mentally retarded person does not pick the stall furthest away? These people should be executed.

Are they reaching their foot under the divider and tapping with it?

 

[mildone]

I'm awaiting input from a female member of this board.

Kinky. I prefer to give input to females. But not judging; it's all good.

 

[mildone]

Who does #2 work for??

First time I saw that scene, I practically produced #2 from laughing so hard.

 

[mildone]

Used to work with a guy that had his own bathroom kit, or as we used to refer to it, "Leiby's Shit Bag".

Diaper wipes, another set of underwear, extra roll of two-ply, magazines, mints...this guy had it all covered

Am I the only person wondering why mints is part of a bathroom kit?

 

[RUsSKii]

Am I the only person wondering why mints is part of a bathroom kit?

Perhaps the mints are supposed to be a temporary substitute for brushing teeth or using mouthwash (which is difficult to imagine doing in such shitty office bathrooms)?

 

[mildone]

Perhaps the mints are supposed to be a temporary substitute for brushing teeth or using mouthwash (which is difficult to imagine doing in such shitty office bathrooms)?

Carrying mints in one's pockets I get. Putting them in a bathroom kit makes him suspect. :)

 

[e5fdny]

What bothers me most when I am taking a nice 10 minute toilet break at the office is when some * turd burglar comes in the bathroom and starts tugging on the door of the stall I am in.

Hey bro, have some bathroom etiquette you creep.

* Yet another addition to my "Words/phrases I Have Learned on ScarletNation" dictionary.

Thank you, @MulletCork. I'm am still laughing.

Topics like these are one of the reasons I took the promotion to be an officer at work. Most places (like mine now) the boss has his own bathroom.

 

[OldManRiver]

Who does #2 work for??

I do my #2 when #1 is not enough...wherever I am.

 

[mildone]

This discussion brings to mind something that I've been curious about for years. Many years back, I was with a team (all male) at dinner after a particularly rotten couple days of performance. One of guys on the team got good and drunk and, at some point, stood up and started giving us hell, in a drunken, staggering, not very convincing kind of way. He was accusing us of being girly men, wusses, weak, etc.

At one point in his rambling stream of insults to us, he told us, very emphatically, that we didn't even stand up to pee. That we sat to pee. This, apparently, was the most heinous insult he could think to hurl at us at the time. Presumably because women sit to pee.

So, here's the thing. If all I have to do is #1, I stand up. But if I have to do #2 and #1, then I sit and do both at more or less the same time. My question to everyone reading this (if anybody made it this far) is, does anybody in the later situation actually stand up to do #1, shake it off, and then sit down to do #2?

Have I been doing it wrong all these years?

 

[delaynomore]

#1 let's you know you are done doing #2.

1. I too hate the lonely shitter.
2. Who stands up to wipe? Weirdos.
3. I worked with a fat guy who said he couldn't wipe his ass, so he went home and threw his underwear out, because his wife was disgusted.

I prefer to find nice hotels to play an away game. You have your own cubicle. They are very clean. And a guy drys your hands a opens the door for you. I don't work in an office.

 

[cliffbuck]

If someone is on the phone in the crapper I go into the stall next to them and flush the toilet multiple times. This way the person on the other end of the phone at least knows they are talking to someone who is in the bathroom.

 

[OriginalKnight]

Anybody here ever eat a sandwich, sub, or cheesesteak while enjoying a bowel movement?

 

[mildone]

Anybody here ever eta a sandwich, sub, or cheesesteak while enjoying a bowel movement?

That's just nasty. But efficient, I suppose.

 

[OriginalKnight]

That's just nasty. But efficient, I suppose.

I used to work with a guy that brought his mug of coffee into the can with him.

 

[FanuSanu52]

I used to work with a guy that brought his mug of coffee into the can with him.

Coffee on the can is good stuff - you drink the coffee while it's hot and it helps move things along.

Not in a work stall, though.

 

[mildone]

I used to work with a guy that brought his mug of coffee into the can with him.

Ew.

 

[OriginalKnight]

Coffee on the can is good stuff - you drink the coffee while it's hot and it helps move things along.

Not in a work stall, though.

He would set it on top of the urinal too. The guy was a mess. Didn't wash his hands either.

 

[Ruprecht88]

When I was working at a major computer co years ago, I was at the men's room sink washing my hands. A dude I recognized but didn't really know flushed, came out of a stall, and walked right out the men's room door. I was kind of grossed out that he didn't wash his hands, then I went out of the men's room and saw him just starting to eat a bag of Fritos he just bought from the vending maching, and then I was extremely grossed out. All I could think of was him licking the salt off his poopy fingers. He became known to me as Poopy-Frito-Hands from then on.

 

[RUSK97]

You guys work with a bunch of a-holes.

 

[cRURah]

I've been on many a conference calls when someone flushed before remembering to mute their phone. It always provokes a comment by the host without ever an admission of guilt by the anonymous culprit. Needless to say, it is very disruptive to the conversation but introduces some well appreciated good humor into what is generally a very boring event.

 

[mildone]

You guys work with a bunch of a-holes.

I'll take "things you hear on a gay porn set for $1000, Alex".

 

[delaynomore]

Some scummy intern pulled a brown handle at my old shop. I proceeded to tell everyone on the floor. He went over to shake this one dude's hand. The guy threw his hands up yelled "whoah!" and told him to go wash his hands.

Public shaming is best for these third world humps.

 

[OldManRiver]

Anybody here ever eat a sandwich, sub, or cheesesteak while enjoying a bowel movement?

 

[REDRICH65]

Another thread to confirm the opinion "people are no damn good and there are too many of them."lol.

 

[mikershoein]

You forgot to add"beat their meat" to the list of things people do in the can.

Yes, last year I had a similar post, pretty foul things are done in the crapper

 

[Armor and Sword]

You know you've been on the bowl too long when the auto light switch turns the lights off in the men's room and you are still sitting on the bowl. This is one of the worst things about LEED-certified buildings.

 

[czxqa]

Am I the only person wondering why mints is part of a bathroom kit?

Why? Because they have the nice big pink ones in the urinals?

 

[Scarlet4ever]

When I was working at a major computer co years ago, I was at the men's room sink washing my hands. A dude I recognized but didn't really know flushed, came out of a stall, and walked right out the men's room door. I was kind of grossed out that he didn't wash his hands, then I went out of the men's room and saw him just starting to eat a bag of Fritos he just bought from the vending maching, and then I was extremely grossed out. All I could think of was him licking the salt off his poopy fingers. He became known to me as Poopy-Frito-Hands from then on.

Hopefully he didn't offer you some chips from an open bag on a previous day.

 

[RUsSKii]

I used to work with a guy that brought his mug of coffee into the can with him.

Same here; the guy worked for a different company but on the same floor. He'd always come in with his coffee mug, set it down on the corner of the sink, and proceeded to go about his business. A guy who acted extremely animated in my old office, could at times be found in a stall having subdued phone conversations..

Side note: bringing your beer or drink into the bathroom at a crowded bar or lounge while using the urinal is perfectly acceptable.

 

[OriginalKnight]

Same here; the guy worked for a different company but on the same floor. He'd always come in with his coffee mug, set it down on the corner of the sink, and proceeded to go about his business. A guy who acted extremely animated in my old office, could at times be found in a stall having subdued phone conversations..

Side note: bringing your beer or drink into the bathroom at a crowded bar or lounge while using the urinal is perfectly acceptable.

The guy I worked with didn't even set it down on the sink. He took it into the stall with him while he enjoyed his bowel movement. He never washed his hands either after. The guy was a mess.

 

[RUtix4me]

Let's not discuss the door handle, my skin has not touched a bathroom door handle in years.

 

[DJ Spanky]

 

[scottydont]

Seems like a lot of the Middle Eastern people I work with have very poor bathroom etiquette. Many of them don't flush, they don't wash, they leave their short and curlies all over the seat in addition to other <ahem> materials. I do my best to not touch anything in the bathroom with my bare hands.

 

[Rokodesh]

Seems like a lot of the Middle Eastern people I work with have very poor bathroom etiquette. Many of them don't flush, they don't wash, they leave their short and curlies all over the seat in addition to other <ahem> materials. I do my best to not touch anything in the bathroom with my bare hands.

tell the boss to revoke their visa

 

[brookdale-soda]

Our company switched to an open floor plan. I went from having an office to sitting kind of out in the open. I hear every side conversatioin, phone call, etc. I cherish my 9am duece whether i have to go or not. There's nice peace and quiet in there. On days when i really can't take the office noise, i find i'm in there long enough my legs fall asleep. Its kind of awkward when im limping my way out of the bathroom when my legs are on pins and needles. BUT ITS NECESSARY....

 

[mildone]

Our company switched to an open floor plan. I went from having an office to sitting kind of out in the open. I hear every side conversatioin, phone call, etc. I cherish my 9am duece whether i have to go or not. There's nice peace and quiet in there. On days when i really can't take the office noise, i find i'm in there long enough my legs fall asleep. Its kind of awkward when im limping my way out of the bathroom when my legs are on pins and needles. BUT ITS NECESSARY....

Open floor plans, which are all the management rage these days, are very stupid. I understand all the arguments for them. I've seen all the stats about them. They're still very stupid. Particularly for people who actually have to focus intently or concentrate on complex things as part of their jobs.

Much better to give people offices, even tiny ones, with doors. Then have larger common spaces where people can meet up and collaborate. If there's room, the common spaces should vary in size and should also have doors.

If your people have better productivity in an open floor plan (and I'm skeptical of your metrics), then you've hired the wrong people.

The exception to the stupidity of it, I suppose, is if the sole purpose of the business is to be profitable at the expense of all else. If you don't mind turnover, a total lack of employee loyalty, treating people like cattle, etc., and only care about maximizing profitability, then an open floor plan fits that business model.

 

[brookdale-soda]

Open floor plans, which are all the management rage these days, are very stupid. I understand all the arguments for them. I've seen all the stats about them. They're still very stupid. Particularly for people who actually have to focus intently or concentrate on complex things as part of their jobs.

Much better to give people offices, even tiny ones, with doors. Then have larger common spaces where people can meet up and collaborate. If there's room, the common spaces should vary in size and should also have doors.

If your people have better productivity in an open floor plan (and I'm skeptical of your metrics), then you've hired the wrong people.

The exception to the stupidity of it, I suppose, is if the sole purpose of the business is to be profitable at the expense of all else. If you don't mind turnover, a total lack of employee loyalty, treating people like cattle, etc., and only care about maximizing profitability, then an open floor plan fits that business model.

I agree. It's very hard to concentrate. When i know i need to get something done that requires a lot of focus or concentration, i get a conference room. If i cant get a conference room, i go home and do it there.

I think there may be positives such as having a little more awareness of what other people are working on but i think these types of floor plans should have some dedicated private space. Until then, ill use the bathroom.

 

[Scarlet_Scourge]

I knew this guy who used to take massive dumps while eating nuttela sandwiches.

At least i think that was what he was doing.

 

[FanuSanu52]

So now that this thread has gone a surprising 80 posts, let's get a tally of how many of those posts were made from the bowl.

I'm good for 1.