OT: Teenage parties

[knightfan7]

Boones Farm Strawberry Hill was the go to on a cheap date.

Their Apple wine was big for a while.

 

[JayDogSmooth]

Their Apple wine was big for a while.

I’m getting a hangover merely by thinking about that stuff

 

[knightfan7]

I'm shocked that parents allow teen drinking parties in their homes. The NJ host laws are extremely rigid. When Kid1 was in high school there were at least 2 house parties that got busted by the cops - in each instance the parents (homeowners) were arrested and charged and in one case they lost their house.

It amazed me too that people are so casual about it.

Underage drinking puts parents at risk

Steven Benvenisti, a board member of the NJ chapter of MADD, said when a person under 21 is served alcohol in a home, the homeowner is liable for 100 percent of the foreseeable consequences.

www.northjersey.com

 

[mildone]

It amazed me too that people are so casual about it.

Underage drinking puts parents at risk

Steven Benvenisti, a board member of the NJ chapter of MADD, said when a person under 21 is served alcohol in a home, the homeowner is liable for 100 percent of the foreseeable consequences.

www.northjersey.com

I wouldn’t let kids under 18 drink in my house unless their parents were there with them. But 16 year olds can legally consent to sex and 18 year olds can go off and die for their country. So I think the entire 21 year old drinking age is wrong-minded and parents should instead focus on raising more responsible young adults starting at much younger ages.

Also, if we really want to protect these kids on their drives home, we should take away their cell phones unless they use them to order an Uber.

 

[anon_0k9zlfz6lz9oy]

Gotta let kids let loose in high school otherwise theyre in real trouble when they get to college from the perspective of
1) socially
2) not being able to hold their liquor
3) not knowing their limits

Let them learn the lessons while living under your roof and you being 10 minutes away.

My parents are very libertarian and just let me do whatever i wanted as long as I worked a job in high school and just warned me if i fvcked up it would 100% be my fault and they wouldnt be there to bail me out. Teaches you accountability at a young age and you grow up fast.

 

[knightfan7]

I wouldn’t let kids under 18 drink in my house unless their parents were there with them. But 16 year olds can legally consent to sex and 18 year olds can go off and die for their country. So I think the entire 21 year old drinking age is wrong-minded and parents should instead focus on raising more responsible young adults starting at much younger ages.

Also, if we really want to protect these kids on their drives home, we should take away their cell phones unless they use them to order an Uber.

#1 problem imo is parents try to hard to be their kid's friend instead of being their parent.

 

[knightfan7]

Gotta let kids let loose in high school otherwise theyre in real trouble when they get to college from the perspective of
1) socially
2) not being able to hold their liquor
3) not knowing their limits

Let them learn the lessons while living under your roof and you being 10 minutes away.

My parents are very libertarian and just let me do whatever i wanted as long as I worked a job in high school and just warned me if i fvcked up it would 100% be my fault and they wouldnt be there to bail me out. Teaches you accountability at a young age and you grow up fast.

Being a few years older I get that Zap and have the same story but these are different times. Parents need to adjust to that.

 

[anon_0k9zlfz6lz9oy]

Being a few years older I get that Zap and have the same story but these are different times. Parents need to adjust to that.

I guess it is different from a liability standpoint with everything videotaped these days.

I mean by my senior year of high school, cocaine was regularly out at parties. I never messed with it but majority of kids did. And thats alot better than pills which our high school didnt really mess with.

Anyway, this is all to say i feel like we went to college very prepared haha. From an educational aspect in school, socially, we were as well prepared as any kids who were sent off to college

 

[mildone]

#1 problem imo is parents try to hard to be their kid's friend instead of being their parent.

Perhaps that's true. I think there's levels of strictness and there's being friends and they are not the same thing.

TBH, I am struggling to think of types of behavior in which parents are trying to be friends with their kids. How does a parent set about doing that? Or how does a parent set about avoiding being friends with their kids?

Some parents are very strict. Other parents are less strict. Some parents don't allow their kids to make their own decisions for important stuff all the way through college. Other parents encourage their kids to make their own decisions, and stand by to providing guidance and support on demand, starting as early as HS.

In none of those cases do I think the parents are trying to be friends. They are just different choices of parenting models and I think the different approaches all have their pros and cons. Which approach works best probably depends more on the specific parent and kid in question than anything else.

Once a kid is in college, if the kid is mature and making their own decisions, it seems kind of natural that the relationship between parent and child will change from one of dependence to something else. And I'm not entirely sure that the relationship being closer to friendship than dependence is such a bad thing.

If a kid is 25, is it a bad thing for a parent and kid to hang out and have a few beers together and talk about life? What's the difference between that and the parent sitting with a friend at the bar?