OT: Parochial school, when is best time to start

[jaydogsmooth1]

We'll be sending our daughter to parochial school sooner rather than later
There's various reasons why we're doing this, a lot of which have been rehashed here amongst multiple parties in many different threads over the years

My question is when is the best time to do this?
We're located in a good school system in Monmouth County, and our daughter, though well behaved and respectful, has definitely changed over the past year

Some of it is part of growing up IMO, but I'd imagine some of the things she sees and hears (not just in school) is also attributing to this
She's currently in third grade and will start a new school next year for 4th and 5th grade, and will have only been in this current school for one year

The plan would be to send her to the middle school and associated high school where most of the kids from that middle school go to
The issue, besides cost, is when to do it

I'm in favor of pulling the plug next year, while my wife prefers to wait until middle school starts (6th grade)
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

 

[kupuna133]

We'll be sending our daughter to parochial school sooner rather than later
There's various reasons why we're doing this, a lot of which have been rehashed here amongst multiple parties in many different threads over the years

My question is when is the best time to do this?
We're located in a good school system in Monmouth County, and our daughter, though well behaved and respectful, has definitely changed over the past year

Some of it is part of growing up IMO, but I'd imagine some of the things she sees and hears (not just in school) is also attributing to this
She's currently in third grade and will start a new school next year for 4th and 5th grade, and will have only been in this current school for one year

The plan would be to send her to the middle school and associated high school where most of the kids from that middle school go to
The issue, besides cost, is when to do it

I'm in favor of pulling the plug next year, while my wife prefers to wait until middle school starts (6th grade)
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

I would make the move as you said when middle school starts. Looks like 6th or 7th grade in your town. What high school would your daughter be attending? I am also in Monmouth County and have my opinion of one school in particular.

 

[Knight Shift]

Why parochial school? If you are religious, then that's a good enough reason.
However, in Monmouth County some good non-parochial options exist.

Take a look at Oak Hill Academy in Lincroft. Uniforms required (at least they were 5-6 years ago. Fantastic preparation for high school, particularly in science and math. Both of our kids went to Oak Hill-one in grades 6-8, the other in grades 4-8. For the 6-8, our school district did not offer a math course appropriate for the level of aptitude, and had suggested sending our kid to high school for math in 6th grade. This did not seem like a good option, as we did not want a 6th grader in the high school. At Oak Hill, there were peers at the same grade level or who were very advanced in math.

For the 4-8, it was a wonderful experience. Not as advanced as the older kid, but still smart. Both kids went to the magnet high schools (Biotech and Allied Health). At the time, I was reluctant to shell out money for private school when we lived in one of the best school districts in the State, but we found the curriculum to be very disappointing. Both are young adults now, thriving, successful respectful and career-focused. In hindsight, we think the investment in Oak Hill was money very well spent.

Funny thing. Our kids road the bus with kids going to Christian Brothers Academy. They said they learned a lot of new bad words on those bus rides.

 

[RUPete]

Shouldn't this be in the ACC thread? Just kidding. What would make her transition easier? If everyone is new starting 6th grade it may be better for her, plus you save a few years tuition. Unless you think the behavioral changes are significant and her grades have gone off a cliff, then you have to do what you need to do.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

I would make the move whenever middle school starts in your town? What high school would your daughter be attending? I am also in Monmouth County and have my opinion of one school in particular.

My wife agrees and wants to do it in 6th grade, which is when middle school begins

The reason I favor doing it sooner is I would think the adjustment would be more difficult the older she gets (meaning it's easier in 4th grade rather than 6th grade)

If we stayed public she'd be in FTRHS district with essentially her choice of 6 high schools depending on what she'd like to focus on, but if she just wanted to stay the course and not go that route, she's districted for the newest and most affluent hs of the bunch

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

Why parochial school? If you are religious, then that's a good enough reason.
However, in Monmouth County some good non-parochial options exist.

Take a look at Oak Hill Academy in Lincroft. Uniforms required (at least they were 5-6 years ago. Fantastic preparation for high school, particularly in science and math. Both of our kids went to Oak Hill-one in grades 6-8, the other in grades 4-8. For the 6-8, our school district did not offer a math course appropriate for the level of aptitude, and had suggested sending our kid to high school for math in 6th grade. This did not seem like a good option, as we did not want a 6th grader in the high school. At Oak Hill, there were peers at the same grade level or who were very advanced in math.

For the 4-8, it was a wonderful experience. Not as advanced as the older kid, but still smart. Both kids went to the magnet high schools (Biotech and Allied Health). At the time, I was reluctant to shell out money for private school when we lived in one of the best school districts in the State, but we found the curriculum to be very disappointing. Both are young adults now, thriving, successful respectful and career-focused. In hindsight, we think the investment in Oak Hill was money very well spent.

Funny thing. Our kids road the bus with kids going to Christian Brothers Academy. They said they learned a lot of new bad words on those bus rides.

Religion is the primary reason (although judging by the way I curse like a sailor when I get pissed, that's debatable)!

We contemplated Oak Hill, but the sticker price is a little too rich for our blood.

It might sound corny and a tad selfish, but I'd really like to retire in my early 50's, and sending her there could put a hold on that (especially with the cost of college these days).

 

[Plum Street]

Is the new school you’re sending her k-8?
Then I would think it doesn’t really matter when you make the switch. Whether she starts in 5th or 6th

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

Is the new school you’re sending her k-8?
Then I would think it doesn’t really matter when you make the switch. Whether she starts in 5th or 6th

Yes it's K-8 (actually Pre K)

 

[ruinac]

Is the new school you’re sending her k-8?
Then I would think it doesn’t really matter when you make the switch. Whether she starts in 5th or 6th

As a product of parochial schools, I agree with this.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

As a product of parochial schools, I agree with this.

That's my wife's train of thought as well (she teaches 3rd grade and says it really doesn't matter as long as it's before middle school that the switch happens)

It would save us some money, and is more convenient as the school she attends now is 2 minutes from home, and the one for the next presumedly two years is 1 minute from home

I'm just thinking it might be a tad easier for her from a social standpoint as I recall kids moving into the district when I was in 6th grade and they had to make new friends on the fly, while the rest of us already had our buddies from grammar school

 

[kupuna133]

My wife agrees and wants to do it in 6th grade, which is when middle school begins

The reason I favor doing it sooner is I would think the adjustment would be more difficult the older she gets (meaning it's easier in 4th grade rather than 6th grade)

If we stayed public she'd be in FTRHS district with essentially her choice of 6 high schools depending on what she'd like to focus on, but if she just wanted to stay the course and not go that route, she's districted for the newest and most affluent hs of the bunch

As others have said. Sending her can be done at any time. But since you mentioned money concerns and the middle school break down is why I said the break would be cleanest at that point.

Which parochial high school are you considering? I assume vianney due to your location.

Different price point but I have friends that sent their daughters to Trinity Hall and I was thoroughly impressed.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

As others have said. Sending her can be done at any time. But since you mentioned money concerns and the middle school break down is why I said the break would be cleanest at that point.

Which parochial high school are you considering? I assume vianney due to your location.

Different price point but I have friends that sent their daughters to Trinity Hall and I was thoroughly impressed.

SJV is preferred but not ruling out RBC & St. Rose

I'm from Hunterdon County and we currently live in a rural area of Monmouth County, and SJV, IMO, is most similar to that type of atmosphere

Not saying RBC and St. Rose aren't quality schools, but it's less country-esque is that makes sense

We checked out Trinity Hall, but with the goal to retire in the next 10-ish years, that would be an issue if we sent here there

Prob could do it for just h.s. and get away with it, but want the religious aspect to start sooner rather than later, so we have to bite the bullet on the middle school cost

 

[T2Kplus20]

We'll be sending our daughter to parochial school sooner rather than later
There's various reasons why we're doing this, a lot of which have been rehashed here amongst multiple parties in many different threads over the years

My question is when is the best time to do this?
We're located in a good school system in Monmouth County, and our daughter, though well behaved and respectful, has definitely changed over the past year

Some of it is part of growing up IMO, but I'd imagine some of the things she sees and hears (not just in school) is also attributing to this
She's currently in third grade and will start a new school next year for 4th and 5th grade, and will have only been in this current school for one year

The plan would be to send her to the middle school and associated high school where most of the kids from that middle school go to
The issue, besides cost, is when to do it

I'm in favor of pulling the plug next year, while my wife prefers to wait until middle school starts (6th grade)
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

Our daughter goes to an independent catholic school, so not connected with a diocese. Being an active part of the private school world for 8 years (we started in pre-k), I don't think 5th or 6th grade is a big difference.

Sure, waiting for the next natural entry point (6th grade) has a few benefits. Many other kids would likely be joining at the same time. However, if you have any concerns about your daughter, don't wait (especially if there are legit problems going on). As the parents, your responsibility is to do what you think is best for her.

A school year is a long time. If things aren't going well at your current school, that's an eternity for a child to deal with.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

Our daughter goes to an independent catholic school, so not connected with a diocese. Being an active part of the private school world for 8 years (we started in pre-k), I don't think 5th or 6th grade is a big difference.

Sure, waiting for the next natural entry point (6th grade) has a few benefits. Many other kids would likely be joining at the same time. However, if you have any concerns about your daughter, don't wait (especially if there are legit problems going on). As the parents, your responsibility is to do what you think is best for her.

A school year is a long time. If things aren't going well at your current school, that's an eternity for a child to deal with.

That's a good point about the next natural entry point and kids joining at the same time

Fortunately, all is well at her current school. Scholastically, teacher wise, administration, nice friends, proximity to home, happiness, etc.

Next year is a new school though so things could definitely change

 

[ruclass76]

Be certain there’s space available…….where I live (in CA) most Catholic schools are K-8. Many parents in affluent communities who hope to enroll their kids in 6th grade are surprised to find so few spaces are available. Demand increases significantly in 6th grade and spots are guaranteed to kids already enrolled.

 

[superfan01]

If you really want to scare her straight have her watch a replay of the Georgia/FSU bowl game.

I think Georgia is still scoring.

 

[RobertG]

We'll be sending our daughter to parochial school sooner rather than later
There's various reasons why we're doing this, a lot of which have been rehashed here amongst multiple parties in many different threads over the years

My question is when is the best time to do this?
We're located in a good school system in Monmouth County, and our daughter, though well behaved and respectful, has definitely changed over the past year

Some of it is part of growing up IMO, but I'd imagine some of the things she sees and hears (not just in school) is also attributing to this
She's currently in third grade and will start a new school next year for 4th and 5th grade, and will have only been in this current school for one year

The plan would be to send her to the middle school and associated high school where most of the kids from that middle school go to
The issue, besides cost, is when to do it

I'm in favor of pulling the plug next year, while my wife prefers to wait until middle school starts (6th grade)
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

We're located in a good school system in Monmouth County, and our daughter, though well behaved and respectful, has definitely changed over the past year

Daughters changing attitudes is one of the three certainties of life along with death and taxes. It can happen even from min to min.

 

[RU from Jersey]

Good luck because kids are kids no matter where they go to school and what is troubling you can occur at a parochial school just as easy as a public school. If your kid is a good kid with a good head on her shoulders then she will be fine no matter where she goes to school especially with guidance from her parents.

 

[ashokan]

Watch the phones and computers - that's where all the dumb-down and drama comes from.
Computer is ok but not in the bedroom alone at night - have a fam PC
No Tik Tok booty shakin/watchin - no FB or Insta apps (no apps at all - can still surf fine).
If the girl gets pretty everything will be much worse
Some kids are flowers and some are weeds - keep the weeds out with a smile and no sympathy (Mary Poppins style)

 

[RUPete]

Watch the phones and computers - that's where all the dumb-down and drama comes from.
Computer is ok but not in the bedroom alone at night - have a fam PC
No Tik Tok booty shakin/watchin - no FB or Insta apps (no apps at all - can still surf fine).
If the girl gets pretty everything will be much worse
Some kids are flowers and some are weeds - keep the weeds out with a smile and no sympathy (Mary Poppins style)

I always feel like I’m at an open mic poetry slam when I read your posts. 😂

 

[Mod9a]

SJV is preferred but not ruling out RBC & St. Rose

I'm from Hunterdon County and we currently live in a rural area of Monmouth County, and SJV, IMO, is most similar to that type of atmosphere

Not saying RBC and St. Rose aren't quality schools, but it's less country-esque is that makes sense

We checked out Trinity Hall, but with the goal to retire in the next 10-ish years, that would be an issue if we sent here there

Prob could do it for just h.s. and get away with it, but want the religious aspect to start sooner rather than later, so we have to bite the bullet on the middle school cost

My daughter is a freshman at Trinity Hall and she loves it. We’re very happy with it so far.

 

[RU205]

Does your daughter play sports? Some school excel in different sports so that could impact your selection.

 

[colbert17]

I was a Catholic school kid from K all the way through high school. To this day I can never thank my Mom enough for making that decision. She didn't have the money but sacrificed to do it. At that time the tuition was $50 a month. My city, neighborhood and school system when I was growing up were pretty sketchy. My ex always use to say that going to Catholic school, especially high school, probably saved my life.

 

[JayDogSmooth]

If you really want to scare her straight have her watch a replay of the Georgia/FSU bowl game.

I think Georgia is still scoring.

Hoping she goes to FSU once we move to Florida

In state tutition, Great school, awesome traditions, fantastic weather, kick ass football and tremendous opportunities post grad

You coming to the inaugural B10 tailgate once the Noles join the B1G?

Asked you a few times and like the Spank Man, haven’t heard back

 

[JayDogSmooth]

We're located in a good school system in Monmouth County, and our daughter, though well behaved and respectful, has definitely changed over the past year

Daughters changing attitudes is one of the three certainties of life along with death and taxes. It can happen even from min to min.

Humbling to say the least
Thank God for my wife bc it’s a drastic change for sure

 

[JayDogSmooth]

Does your daughter play sports? Some school excel in different sports so that could impact your selection.

She does but as of now is fairly pedestrian athletic wise - hence looking for the right academic & religious fit with athletics secondary

 

[ashokan]

poetry slam

Float like a butterfly
Sting like a bee
I do short posts
When I'm watching TV

 

[NotInRHouse]

Any of these would be far better than any Monmouth County Catholic school

Any Freehold Regional HS
Red Bank HS
Holmdel HS
Any of the Monmouth County magnets
Rumson Fair Haven HS

And Manasquan HS, Middletown South likely better, Wall, Ocean and Aberdeen-Matawan certainly in the running...people mostly move to the county for the schools in the first place.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

Any of these would be far better than any Monmouth County Catholic school

Any Freehold Regional HS
Red Bank HS
Holmdel HS
Any of the Monmouth County magnets
Rumson Fair Haven HS

And Manasquan HS, Middletown South likely better, Wall, Ocean and Aberdeen-Matawan certainly in the running...people mostly move to the county for the schools in the first place.

Far better is relative; might be better academically, but there's other issues in those schools that aren't appealing; and although Catholic school isn't by any means drama free, it provides what we'd be looking for that the public schools don't

Any child w/special needs typically stays w/the public school route as they're noted for being better in that aspect and in some cases, those programs aren't even offered in the parochial schools

Conversely, the true privates (ones mentioned here, and others like Peddie, PDS, etc.) have far superior education than the parchioral schools - but I'd prefer not to spend that sticker price if possible

I'm willing to give up part of the education factor for the other things we favor w/catholic school (Religion aspect primarily, but others as well)

I went to middle school with a bunch of buddies who went to catholic high school; the girls and guys were far from choir boys there, but I always personally liked the accountability aspect, as well as the structure, uniforms and religion portion that they offered there.

I went to public school k-12 and throughout college as did my wife, so for us, this is brand new territory

 

[T2Kplus20]

Far better is relative; might be better academically, but there's other issues in those schools that aren't appealing; and although Catholic school isn't by any means drama free, it provides what we'd be looking for that the public schools don't

Any child w/special needs typically stays w/the public school route as they're noted for being better in that aspect and in some cases, those programs aren't even offered in the parochial schools

Conversely, the true privates (ones mentioned here, and others like Peddie, PDS, etc.) have far superior education than the parchioral schools - but I'd prefer not to spend that sticker price if possible

I'm willing to give up part of the education factor for the other things we favor w/catholic school (Religion aspect primarily, but others as well)

I went to middle school with a bunch of buddies who went to catholic high school; the girls and guys were far from choir boys there, but I always personally liked the accountability aspect, as well as the structure, uniforms and religion portion that they offered there.

I went to public school k-12 and throughout college as did my wife, so for us, this is brand new territory

Quality private schools are the way to go (except for special needs). The perspective is night and day compared to public schools. You are their customers and everyone is there by choice. Having a peer group of parents and students rowing in the same direction is wonderful.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

Quality private schools are the way to go (except for special needs). The perspective is night and day compared to public schools. You are their customers and everyone is there by choice. Having a peer group of parents and students rowing in the same direction is wonderful.

It's kind of bitter sweet being public school educated to be going this route; but we just feel it's in the best interest of our daughter, although definitely not cheap and essentially paying double taxes without the benefit of the write off for the second part

 

[T2Kplus20]

It's kind of bitter sweet being public school educated to be going this route; but we just feel it's in the best interest of our daughter, although definitely not cheap and essentially paying double taxes without the benefit of the write off for the second part

I did NJ public for K-12, but public schools are way different today and the problems are only getting worse. No thank you! LOL. Quality private schools are just better for parents and students. I'm in the greater Princeton area so we have tons of choices. Research the schools in your area and figure out which is the best fit. Our school is prep/leadership focused with religion on the side since we are not tied to a diocese. It's the perfect balance for us!

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

I did NJ public for K-12, but public schools are way different today and the problems are only getting worse. No thank you! LOL. Quality private schools are just better for parents and students. I'm in the greater Princeton area so we have tons of choices. Research the schools in your area and figure out which is the best fit. Our school is prep/leadership focused with religion on the side since we are not tied to a diocese. It's the perfect balance for us!

That sounds like it would be ideal as it likely prepares students for the real world better than the traditional catholic school. Will def. do research in that area as that could be the way to go

 

[T2Kplus20]

That sounds like it would be ideal as it likely prepares students for the real world better than the traditional catholic school. Will def. do research in that area as that could be the way to go

Where do you live? Is the Princeton area an option? If yes, I will send you a DM/conversation note.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

Where do you live? Is the Princeton area an option? If yes, I will send you a DM/conversation note.

We live near Freehold, and Princeton is about 25 minutes away (roughly the same distance as the main school we're considering).

If you could please DM me the info, I'd greatly appreciate it!

 

[Caliknight]

The answer is as soon as possible.

 

[miketd1]

If you're going for religious purposes, as soon as possible is best, IMO. Some of my fondest memories were from K-8 and all the different holidays/celebrations around the school/church. The "total immersion" helps children "live" what they are currently learning.

It's definitely a financial sacrifice, but my wife and I view it more as an investment for our two sons.

Oh, you'll definitely find yourself being asked to participate/"volunteer" in the church/community. I originally wasn't too fond of this part (I'm not very social outside of my regular circle), but it's surprisingly been a great experience bonding with other families during functions. Also keeps your ear close to the ground for trouble (poor teachers, disruptive students, etc.).

I've actually found myself as a volunteer JV soccer coach this year -- something I always thought about but needed a "push" to do.

Good luck!

 

[retired711]

I am not Catholic, but I agree with those who say "as soon as possible." That will give your daughter as much immersion as possible in the environment you want. I don't want to spend your money, but I don't think you should let financial considerations get in the way of that. The only counterargument -- and I think you should consider this carefully -- is whether moving your daughter there now would cause a lot of disruption and make her very unhappy. The last thing you want is to have a child who is unhappy and upset at her parents.

Just so you know . . . I base this on what I hear from Jewish parents who have put their children in Jewish day school.

 

[jaydogsmooth1]

I am not Catholic, but I agree with those who say "as soon as possible." That will give your daughter as much immersion as possible in the environment you want. I don't want to spend your money, but I don't think you should let financial considerations get in the way of that. The only counterargument -- and I think you should consider this carefully -- is whether moving your daughter there now would cause a lot of disruption and make her very unhappy. The last thing you want is to have a child who is unhappy and upset at her parents.

Just so you know . . . I base this on what I hear from Jewish parents who have put their children in Jewish day school.

Middle school (6th grade) is where the hormones really start kicking in, and with that, the attitudes
Being that she's going to a new school next year for 4th grade and then the same school for 5th grade, and she really likes it now and is doing well, my wife favors 6th grade
Per your points, which are all valid, I favor next year (4th grade)
Def gives us something to think about

 

[retired711]

Middle school (6th grade) is where the hormones really start kicking in, and with that, the attitudes
Being that she's going to a new school next year for 4th grade and then the same school for 5th grade, and she really likes it now and is doing well, my wife favors 6th grade
Per your points, which are all valid, I favor next year (4th grade)
Def gives us something to think about

I don't have a young child, but I hear that hormones are kicking in earlier and earlier these days -- that girls are having their first period much sooner than in the past. (I think this is nutrition, just as many young women tower over me and I'm 5' 9". ) Maybe that should play a role. I do think that prevention is worth a pound of cure, and that sending her there a little too early would be better than risking doing it too late. It seems to me that if she's going to change schools anyway, this would be a good time for the switch. But, of course, every child is different and, again, you don't want an unhappy kid. That would be awful for you and your wife as well as her.