OT: Meddling Millennial parents

[RU848789]

As mentioned in the OP article, there are some parents who get involved in the job searches of their young adult children. While I haven't encountered any parents attending a job interview (though I doubt security would let them in the front door), I have received phone calls from parents advocating on behalf of their kids. It is an immediate disqualifier.

I also have a friend who told me she went with her mid-20's daughter on a job interview. She didn't go into the interview, but waited in the lobby "for moral support". I told her that she probably cost her daughter the job.

When you hire someone fresh out of college, you want a person who can think for themself and learn and grow. Bringing mommy to the job interview pretty much says you're not that person.

Of course, it is the rare exception when parents get involved in the hiring process. But it is amazing that it happens at all.

(And to be fair, most of the millennials that I've hired are smart, hardworking, and ultimately successful.)

I've interviewed a few hundred students and/or graduates looking for internships/full-time jobs over the years and I've never heard of a parent being involved in any way - agree that would be a deal-breaker, unless there were some very unusual extenuating circumstances.

 

[CranfordKnight]

I have a good friend who is a professor at Manhattanville College who often complains about parents contacting him about his students. Offering excuses for late papers, arguing grades, etc. as if the kids were still in grade school. Says it wasn't always like that, a more recent development.

As for the sports, i'll always remember when my son was in first grade and he was playing soccer for the first time. They didn't even officially keep score in the games, as it was an instructional league. In the last game of the season, the coach announced that he'd be trying to get goals for any players who hadn't scored yet. After a half of getting totally destroyed by the other team and demoralizing all the kids, I told the coach what he was doing was ridiculous and pulled my son from the game. He was one of the ones who hadn't scored. It was total b.s.

 

[ScarletDave]

I wonder what means more ... The piggy bank trophy plaque given to the local T ball kids, or the Civil Conflict trophy to UCF

 

[Knightmoves]

I have a good friend who is a professor at Manhattanville College who often complains about parents contacting him about his students. Offering excuses for late papers, arguing grades, etc. as if the kids were still in grade school. Says it wasn't always like that, a more recent development.

As for the sports, i'll always remember when my son was in first grade and he was playing soccer for the first time. They didn't even officially keep score in the games, as it was an instructional league. In the last game of the season, the coach announced that he'd be trying to get goals for any players who hadn't scored yet. After a half of getting totally destroyed by the other team and demoralizing all the kids, I told the coach what he was doing was ridiculous and pulled my son from the game. He was one of the ones who hadn't scored. It was total b.s.

So in other words you displayed the same type of behavior as the helicopter parents by telling off the coach and pulling your son from the game. Nice gesture and a fine lesson of entitlement for your son. Did you badmouth the coach to your son in the car on the way home as well ?

 

[bac2therac]

Millenials:

Less teenage pregnancy
Less crime
More education
More volunteering
More community involvement
Less materialism

Why do they get so much sh!t?

less materialism? where did you pull that one from.

I may be cynical but the volunteering and community involvement is an example of that generations obsession with being a part of something that they can instagram or tweet about.....the ill effects of reality tv on that generation

 

[CranfordKnight]

So in other words you displayed the same type of behavior as the helicopter parents by telling off the coach and pulling your son from the game. Nice gesture and a fine lesson of entitlement for your son. Did you badmouth the coach to your son in the car on the way home as well ?

No idiot, I didn't tell him off. Not everyone acts like a blowhard like you. Believe it or not, it's possible to take a stand against something you disagree with and express an opinion without looking like a fool. You might try it some time. By the way, 10 years later, I'm still good friends with the coach.

 

[miketd1]

As for the sports, i'll always remember when my son was in first grade and he was playing soccer for the first time. They didn't even officially keep score in the games, as it was an instructional league. In the last game of the season, the coach announced that he'd be trying to get goals for any players who hadn't scored yet. After a half of getting totally destroyed by the other team and demoralizing all the kids, I told the coach what he was doing was ridiculous and pulled my son from the game. He was one of the ones who hadn't scored. It was total b.s.

Soccer is different from a lot of sports in that the younger you are, the less structure and instruction you need.

Soccer in first grade shouldn't be more than low pressure, rec-league, 3v3 with kwik goals (small goals, no goalie). 7-8 minutes games with no substitutions & no halftime. On a regulation field, you could have up to 4 3v3 games going at once. Emphasis should be on participation, # of touches per player, and good sportsmanship -- NOT winning.

As you get older, get to 5v5 on half fields, then 7v7, then finally 11v11 in high school.

Helicopter parents aside, this generation has it tougher because they are no longer just competing with kids in the neighborhood. They are competing with kids all around the world every single day, thanks to the internet. My 3 year old showed some interest in basketball and somehow found a YouTube video of a 5 year old dribbling a ball better than I ever did at any age. Then he sees videos of kids opening all kinds of toys, eating all sorts of candy, and going on vacation to all these wonderful places...

No amount of helicopter parenting can protect little Jimmy or Sarah from inevitable moments of inadequacy & self-doubt. Social media is too big of a gamechanger and there is an endless supply of folks who want to tell everyone how great they are (heck, you often even see the self-congratulatory posts from grown men right here...).

Going back to soccer, the emphasis should never be on winning -- for there is only one winner in every competition, and not every outcome is determined by effort & grit -- some kids are just bigger, faster, stronger. The emphasis should always be on improving every day and to give maximum effort in everything you do. That way, even if you lose -- which you inevitably will, in the game as in life -- you have no regrets.

 

[wheezer]

As mentioned in the OP article, there are some parents who get involved in the job searches of their young adult children. While I haven't encountered any parents attending a job interview (though I doubt security would let them in the front door), I have received phone calls from parents advocating on behalf of their kids. It is an immediate disqualifier.

I also have a friend who told me she went with her mid-20's daughter on a job interview. She didn't go into the interview, but waited in the lobby "for moral support". I told her that she probably cost her daughter the job.

When you hire someone fresh out of college, you want a person who can think for themself and learn and grow. Bringing mommy to the job interview pretty much says you're not that person.

Of course, it is the rare exception when parents get involved in the hiring process. But it is amazing that it happens at all.

(And to be fair, most of the millennials that I've hired are smart, hardworking, and ultimately successful.)

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Someone sitting out in the lobby is a poor reason for not hiring the candidate, imho.....I have hired a lot of young people and that would not bother me

 

[SteveVA2]

Every generation of kids is the worst ever. Every generation of parents is the worst ever. So predictable, so boring.

 

[Piscataway]

That could also be used to describe baby boomers by their parents ..... that is before the boomers went ape shit crazy and created the world of the last 25 years or so

and this philosophy begets further ape shit crazy idiots

 

[vkj91]

Soccer is different from a lot of sports in that the younger you are, the less structure and instruction you need.

Soccer in first grade shouldn't be more than low pressure, rec-league, 3v3 with kwik goals (small goals, no goalie). 7-8 minutes games with no substitutions & no halftime. On a regulation field, you could have up to 4 3v3 games going at once. Emphasis should be on participation, # of touches per player, and good sportsmanship -- NOT winning.

As you get older, get to 5v5 on half fields, then 7v7, then finally 11v11 in high school.

Helicopter parents aside, this generation has it tougher because they are no longer just competing with kids in the neighborhood. They are competing with kids all around the world every single day, thanks to the internet. My 3 year old showed some interest in basketball and somehow found a YouTube video of a 5 year old dribbling a ball better than I ever did at any age. Then he sees videos of kids opening all kinds of toys, eating all sorts of candy, and going on vacation to all these wonderful places...

No amount of helicopter parenting can protect little Jimmy or Sarah from inevitable moments of inadequacy & self-doubt. Social media is too big of a gamechanger and there is an endless supply of folks who want to tell everyone how great they are (heck, you often even see the self-congratulatory posts from grown men right here...).

Going back to soccer, the emphasis should never be on winning -- for there is only one winner in every competition, and not every outcome is determined by effort & grit -- some kids are just bigger, faster, stronger. The emphasis should always be on improving every day and to give maximum effort in everything you do. That way, even if you lose -- which you inevitably will, in the game as in life -- you have no regrets.

You could start by keeping your 3 year old off of youtube. I'm assuming he didn't buy an IPad and figure out the internet password all by himself.

 

[Piscataway]

Please remember the anecdote you're using as a basis of this rant is about hula hooping. Isn't rewarding kids for something like that as much a part of the "making kids feel good at all costs" problem as handing out prizes to everyone? There's the missing answer for your daughter, a pretty good lesson in itself.

Who cares what the hell the competition was around. This kid practiced and competed and WON. Shit, we make competitions out of everything. This kid deserves her due.

What her father should have said is the truth. That some folks dont value hard work and determination, but they are worst type of people because they reward the lazy and the useless. and that she is better then these scum...but in language appropriate for a 7 yo...

 

[RUsSKii]

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Someone sitting out in the lobby is a poor reason for not hiring the candidate, imho.....I have hired a lot of young people and that would not bother me

IMO, the only reasonable connection a parent could have to their 14+ year-old's interview is driving them to the location, if need be. But that's about it. Even in that case, as the interviewee I would never want them sticking around the lobby, especially in full view of the potential employer's personnel & management (as is the case with most of the offices I've worked at, assuming there even is a lobby).

Job seeking, interviewing, and even career reviews are skills that one should practice on their own. Parents are there for teaching and offering advice as to reasonable work terms/conditions, not hand-holding..

 

[RU09FOOTBALL]

I'm a millenial, and wow what a shocker..

Mooby's facts are unaddressed.

If you're referring to Mooby's graphs, this has nothing to do with millenials. You can thank Roe v. Wade for the drop in crime rates, teenage pregnancy, etc. Less unwanted kids. However, I'd expect nothing less from millenials trying to take credit for something they had nothing to do with.

 

[miketd1]

You could start by keeping your 3 year old off of youtube. I'm assuming he didn't buy an IPad and figure out the internet password all by himself.

I don't mind him using the iPad or YouTube. I weighed the pluses & minuses. Many of the schools we are considering him for next year have partially incorporated the iPad into their curriculum.

There's no need for the condescending tone. I think maybe you misunderstood my point. Self-doubt & disappointments are inevitable -- you can't shield your kids from them forever. You can't just pretend there aren't a bunch of weirdos on social media then suddenly they appear when they are old enough to use an iPad. My suggestion was to teach kids to think about how they can improve themselves as opposed to measuring themselves against others. Yes, it's good to know where you stand, but it's not good to get to the point where you need to prescribe drugs to a kid who doesn't feel like they fit in.

 

[RU09FOOTBALL]

less materialism? where did you pull that one from.

I may be cynical but the volunteering and community involvement is an example of that generations obsession with being a part of something that they can instagram or tweet about.....the ill effects of reality tv on that generation

Don't forget, many high schools also have a community service/volunteering requirement for graduation. So, they're forced to do it.

 

[vkj91]

I don't mind him using the iPad or YouTube. I weighed the pluses & minuses. Many of the schools we are considering him for next year have partially incorporated the iPad into their curriculum.

There's no need for the condescending tone. I think maybe you misunderstood my point. Self-doubt & disappointments are inevitable -- you can't shield your kids from them forever. You can't just pretend there aren't a bunch of weirdos on social media then suddenly they appear when they are old enough to use an iPad. My suggestion was to teach kids to think about how they can improve themselves as opposed to measuring themselves against others. Yes, it's good to know where you stand, but it's not good to get to the point where you need to prescribe drugs to a kid who doesn't feel like they fit in.

While I agree you can't shield your kid but I also think you shouldn't look to shield your kids. Quicker they learn they probably aren't the best at anything they will learn that success is more often about hard work and dedication than god given talent alone. We will agree to disagree on a 3 year old on youtube.

 

[rutgersdave]

IMO, the only reasonable connection a parent could have to their 14+ year-old's interview is driving them to the location, if need be. But that's about it. Even in that case, as the interviewee I would never want them sticking around the lobby, especially in full view of the potential employer's personnel & management (as is the case with most of the offices I've worked at, assuming there even is a lobby).

Job seeking, interviewing, and even career reviews are skills that one should practice on their own. Parents are there for teaching and offering advice as to reasonable work terms/conditions, not hand-holding..

I remember when I was younger, my mother mentioned that her friend went to the Cravel store and got a job for his son even thought he was in high school already. Totally embarrassing for the kid but he turned out fine since he later became a CEO of a company.

 

[miketd1]

vkj: My wife and I are polar opposites when it comes to parenting style. She's a helicopter mom. I'm always telling her to leave him be (within reason, of course) -- if he gets a cut or a bump, it's part of growing up. Ditto with iPad usage -- I have no problem with him going on YouTube as long as it's educational or age appropriate. She only lets him on if she needs him to be distracted (getting dressed, cooking, etc.).

I find that since we're so different, our son ends up the recipient of a balanced parenting style overall.

 

[Knightmoves]

No idiot, I didn't tell him off. Not everyone acts like a blowhard like you. Believe it or not, it's possible to take a stand against something you disagree with and express an opinion without looking like a fool. You might try it some time. By the way, 10 years later, I'm still good friends with the coach.

In your words you told the coach what he was doing was ridiculous and pulled your son from the game.

And then you call me a blowhard for objectively expressing my opinion about parents who act that way at sporting events. OK Chief, got it.

 

[vkj91]

vkj: My wife and I are polar opposites when it comes to parenting style. She's a helicopter mom. I'm always telling her to leave him be (within reason, of course) -- if he gets a cut or a bump, it's part of growing up. Ditto with iPad usage -- I have no problem with him going on YouTube as long as it's educational or age appropriate. She only lets him on if she needs him to be distracted (getting dressed, cooking, etc.).

I find that since we're so different, our son ends up the recipient of a balanced parenting style overall.

I'm with you on the whole distraction thing, I have 3 kids 10,8,6. I have a similar situation with my wife as I don't want to hear from you if it ain't bleeding or broken. However, we are both very firm on the Internet and YouTube. My son gets to watch football and baseball videos on YouTube but I have to watch them first. He knows consequences if he doesn't follow the rules.

 

[Upstream]

I remember when I was younger, my mother mentioned that her friend went to the Cravel store and got a job for his son even thought he was in high school already. Totally embarrassing for the kid but he turned out fine since he later became a CEO of a company.

I don't have an issue with a mom taking her high school child to a job interview for an after-school or summer job (especially for kids too young to drive). My post above was about a friend of mine who sat in the lobby of a corporate office to offer moral support for her mid-20's daughter who was interviewing.

 

[Caliknight]

I don't have an issue with a mom taking her high school child to a job interview for an after-school or summer job (especially for kids too young to drive). My post above was about a friend of mine who sat in the lobby of a corporate office to offer moral support for her mid-20's daughter who was interviewing.

You would immediately get sent home at my company if this was seen. With no interview.

 

[FanuSanu52]

Who cares what the hell the competition was around. This kid practiced and competed and WON. Shit, we make competitions out of everything. This kid deserves her due.

What her father should have said is the truth. That some folks dont value hard work and determination, but they are worst type of people because they reward the lazy and the useless. and that she is better then these scum...but in language appropriate for a 7 yo...

Wow. I'm not sure how you can seriously rail against parents giving their children a sense of undue entitlement while puking that nonsense all over. It was a HULA-HOOPING contest at a SCHOOL FAIR. Just because they had a trophy for it one year, doesn't mean they had to do so forever. It's okay for things like school fairs to be non-competitive fun. I recall getting prizes without winning anything at my school fair, too. It didn't retard my development.

In other words, said daughter wasn't really entitled to a trophy just because she practiced hula-hooping. You can spin that into another Real lesson: Sometimes you work hard and don't get a lollipop at the end. Or you could make sure the child is an entitled little princess by making her feel superior to everyone because she was simply over-competitive about a meaningless competition.

Better yet, just take her for ice cream after; tell her she did awesome; and stop looking for life lessons at the school fair.

 

[Randal7]

The trophy phenomena is interesting. I think if you are awarded a second place or third place trophy, and you put your heart into that event, just the sight of that trophy would make you sick. However, sometiems thinking back to those team sporting events where we battled hard against a superior foe actually gives me the most pride and happiness.

For example -- I went to bergen county academies in highschool, a public magnet. We had a lacrosse team and were OK -- most of the kids just took the sport up in highschool though whereas our competition throughout bergen county was littered with kids who had been playing since they were 4-5 years olds. We had a solid squad my junior year, and we had a home game against Northern Highlands, probably the best team on our schedule that year. I played defense long-stick and they thought they were gonna absolutely light us up with goals. We gave them hell. even when they did score we were nailing after shot was released, drilling their guys in the crease and generally instilling fear. Basically playing with reckless abandon. We lost 6-7, but that game was such a pleasure. Putting that fear into them. Proving they were wrong about us. Repeatedly punching them in the mouth. Grinding. That's what it's all about. I don't need a trophy to appreciate that game, but if I had one I would display it proudly.

 

[Piscataway]

... I recall getting prizes without winning anything at my school fair, too. It didn't retard my development...

Not so sure about that. :boxing:

 

[JPhoboken]

Wow. I'm not sure how you can seriously rail against parents giving their children a sense of undue entitlement while puking that nonsense all over. It was a HULA-HOOPING contest at a SCHOOL FAIR. Just because they had a trophy for it one year, doesn't mean they had to do so forever. It's okay for things like school fairs to be non-competitive fun. I recall getting prizes without winning anything at my school fair, too. It didn't retard my development.

In other words, said daughter wasn't really entitled to a trophy just because she practiced hula-hooping. You can spin that into another Real lesson: Sometimes you work hard and don't get a lollipop at the end. Or you could make sure the child is an entitled little princess by making her feel superior to everyone because she was simply over-competitive about a meaningless competition.

Better yet, just take her for ice cream after; tell her she did awesome; and stop looking for life lessons at the school fair.

Sorry, you don't look for lessons, they are all around you. I also wasn't looking for suggestions how to deal with my daughters disappointment for not getting recognized either. My daughter is quite aware you don't get awarded every time you do something good. We make sure of that. She has to learn on her own that pride has to be good enough some times.

The school called it a hula hoop contest, not my daughter. Not sure why you think it isn't as important as winning a little league championship or other event, no reason for you to minimize it. They awarded a prize to the winner last year, so no reason to think they wouldn't again. If they are not going to award prizes for winners, then call it something else. No issue with that. She probably wouldn't have wasted her time practicing, she has plenty of other activities to do.

Fanu, sorry, you are missing the point and focusing too much on a hula hoop contest. I am looking at the bigger picture. I believe we should still have contests and award prizes to the kids who win, give out something to the others if you want, but reward the winners. These are the lessons kids need to keep learning to deal with a very competitive educational and global business environment. Its really never too young to learn these little lessons. You say big deal, only a school fair and hula hoop contest. Then it will be only field day, then only a 4H animal showing, only a swim meet, only a county soccer championship, only a state soccer championship........why should any of these have trophies either?

Sorry, we can agree to disagree, You think its better to make kids feel good at all the time, I think its better they suffer disappointments and also acknowledgement for their achievements.

 

[FanuSanu52]

Haha, I kind of knew I was stepping into that one. Can't blame you for taking it.

 

[lighty]

"I've interviewed a few hundred students and/or graduates looking for internships/full-time jobs over the years and I've never heard of a parent being involved in any way - agree that would be a deal-breaker, unless there were some very unusual extenuating circumstances."

Sadly, this is most certainly happening. My wife teaches at a local university and several of her students have mentioned the practice. But, then again, she also facing parents coming in to the university to protest their kid's grades with professors and the Dean... Messed up.

 

[FanuSanu52]

Sorry, you don't look for lessons, they are all around you. I also wasn't looking for suggestions how to deal with my daughters disappointment for not getting recognized either. My daughter is quite aware you don't get awarded every time you do something good. We make sure of that. She has to learn on her own that pride has to be good enough some times.

The school called it a hula hoop contest, not my daughter. Not sure why you think it isn't as important as winning a little league championship or other event, nor reason for you to minimize it. They awarded a prize to the winner last year, so no reason to think they wouldn't again. If they are not going to award prizes for winners, then call it something else. No issue with that. She probably wouldn't have wasted her time practicing, she has plenty of other activities to do.

Fanu, sorry, you are missing the point and focusing too much on a hula hoop contest. I am looking at the bigger picture. I believe we should still have contests and award prizes to the kids who win, give out something to the others if you want, but reward the winners. These are the lessons kids need to keep learning to deal with a very competitive educational and global business environment. Its really never too young to learn these little lessons. You say big deal, only a school fair and hula hoop contest. Then it will be only field day, then only a 4H animal showing, only a swim meet, only a county soccer championship, only a state soccer championship........why should any of these have trophies either?

Sorry, we can agree to disagree, You think its better to make kids feel good at all the time, I think its better they suffer disappointments and also acknowledgement for their achievements.

Dude, where did you even get the bolded. I said exactly nothing like that, ever.

I do, however, think that a hula hoop "contest" at a school fair is a horrible example for making a point about "rewarding everyone". The reason that it's not a Little League championship is because a.) it's at a school fair, which by nature is meant to be fun, not necessarily competitive and b.) the organizers of said fair decided not to treat it like a sports championship this year. I am simply agreeing with that decision and suggesting it should have been that way in the first place, not because kids have to feel good all the time, but because not everything is a major competition. On that, we can agree to disagree.

As for not asking for advice, you said something to the effect that you really had no idea what to tell your daughter. Coupled with the fact that you were half rooting against your daughter so as to teach a life lesson, I figured you'd be open to suggestions for turning the actual scenario into a lesson.

The rest of that sounds like a ridiculous slippery slope argument that's based in fantasy. As has been said in this thread, there's more competition out there than ever, so your child need not want for it. Just because the hula hoop contest didn't bring home the championship bling, doesn't mean that such fate will befall every competition.

This is a bit unrelated, but one thing that I think is lost in the typical "previous generations ranting about 'everyone winning' in younger generations" is that younger generations are excelling in different ways. Older generations seem to like to ignore this because it doesn't fall within their own value system.

Millennials have proven more interested in entrepreneurial endeavors than previous generations, whereas those generations were more about "getting ready for the big game with the team". It's easy to see how an environment of competing for a trophy lead to the latter, whereas rewarding each child for their individual effort could lead to the former - rewarding original thought and individualism instead of just "there's no I in team." Neither one's right or wrong, but I'm happy to see young folks thinking and acting on their own instead of simply relying blindly on a team that may very well screw them over down the line.

 

[RUevolution36]

My younger millennial brother in law is interviewing for jobs. He had an interview the other day...texted me afterwards complaining, "I can't believe that, in 2015, companies expect you to go to the office 5 days a week. I should be able to work when I want to work, where I want to work." If that's the entrepreneurial spirit you're talking about, you can take it and shove it where the sun don't shine. That sense of entitlement is disgusting. He's the one looking for a job, they are the one who's paying. Take it or leave it, they're the one with the upper hand in this negotiation. Last summer, one of the kids my company hired straight out of college went up to the senior leaders in the group after working for a month, complaining that the tasks assigned to him were below him and that they should give him more advanced level work because he's better than the entry level stuff and that they're just trying to hold him down and prevent him from taking their jobs. He didn't last beyond the end of the week. Millennials are petulant little sh**s who never learned that respect is earned and not a birthright.

 

[FanuSanu52]

My younger millennial brother in law is interviewing for jobs. He had an interview the other day...texted me afterwards complaining, "I can't believe that, in 2015, companies expect you to go to the office 5 days a week. I should be able to work when I want to work, where I want to work." If that's the entrepreneurial spirit you're talking about, you can take it and shove it where the sun don't shine. That sense of entitlement is disgusting. He's the one looking for a job, they are the one who's paying. Take it or leave it, they're the one with the upper hand in this negotiation. Last summer, one of the kids my company hired straight out of college went up to the senior leaders in the group after working for a month, complaining that the tasks assigned to him were below him and that they should give him more advanced level work because he's better than the entry level stuff and that they're just trying to hold him down and prevent him from taking their jobs. He didn't last beyond the end of the week. Millennials are petulant little sh**s who never learned that respect is earned and not a birthright.

Not sure that really qualifies as a sense of entitlement. Did he say that at the job interview? Did he turn down the job offer because of it? Is working from home normal in his line of work?

He might be right. It might be more beneficial for everyone to adopt a more flexible, commute-from-home workspace. Really depends what exactly he's doing.

Anyway, if your brother-in-law finds a job with a work-from-home element and the kid from your company indeed rises up the ranks somewhere else, maybe his own company, I'm sure they'll be happy to tell you to stick your outmoded advice where the sun don't shine. Working your ass off to earn the man's respect is a fool's errand for some.

 

[RUevolution36]

Not sure that really qualifies as a sense of entitlement. Did he say that at the job interview? Did he turn down the job offer because of it? Is working from home normal in his line of work?

He might be right. It might be more beneficial for everyone to adopt a more flexible, commute-from-home workspace. Really depends what exactly he's doing.

Anyway, if your brother-in-law finds a job with a work-from-home element and the kid from your company indeed rises up the ranks somewhere else, maybe his own company, I'm sure they'll be happy to tell you to stick your outmoded advice where the sun don't shine. Working your ass off to earn the man's respect is a fool's errand for some.

It certainly is a sense of entitlement. He turned them down and told them that it seemed stupid that they wouldn't offer flex scheduling. It's their company - they can run it how they see fit. It's pretty offensive for a candidate to come in and tell them that they are stupid.

Having to earn respect is never a fool's errand. Never think you deserve something without having to put in the effort for it. Bitching and moaning about not getting what you deserve when you don't have any track record whatsoever is a prime example of a sense of entitlement. The world doesn't change because you wish it so. The people who change the world are the ones who work hard at it and prove that their way is better.

I'm not saying all millennials are like this...I have a few great ones working for me who understand this idea and realize that there is much to learn in my industry before they can become thought leaders. But there is definitely a share of the generation who have been told that are winners and deserve nothing but the best when they have never done anything to deserve it. They lean on mommy and daddy to hook them up with the right connections to get them into college, the right internships, and the right first jobs. Then they flip out when someone knocks them down a peg and tells them that they aren't as great as they, and their parents, think they are.

 

[LC-88]

Fear makes the world go round. The news says we can't trust anyone. Insurance and lawsuits. Social media will tell us if you are a good partner/parent/worker/chef or any other thing you can imagine -

The sooner the instatwittertards delete their accounts the better off they will be.
My kids will be playing in the park down the block, alone - developing skills that will take your kids job from them. Or will these skills be useless since the rest of society will be different? What a dilemma! ,..

Unfortunately all you have to do is read "Harrison Bergeron" by Kurt Vonnegut to see where all this is going.

 

[Upstream]

My younger millennial brother in law is interviewing for jobs. He had an interview the other day...texted me afterwards complaining, "I can't believe that, in 2015, companies expect you to go to the office 5 days a week. I should be able to work when I want to work, where I want to work." If that's the entrepreneurial spirit you're talking about, you can take it and shove it where the sun don't shine. That sense of entitlement is disgusting. He's the one looking for a job, they are the one who's paying. Take it or leave it, they're the one with the upper hand in this negotiation. Last summer, one of the kids my company hired straight out of college went up to the senior leaders in the group after working for a month, complaining that the tasks assigned to him were below him and that they should give him more advanced level work because he's better than the entry level stuff and that they're just trying to hold him down and prevent him from taking their jobs. He didn't last beyond the end of the week. Millennials are petulant little sh**s who never learned that respect is earned and not a birthright.

I'm not sure that this is a millennial thing. Some of my friends (in their 40's and 50's) are surprised that in my job, I'm expected to be in the office 4 days a week (with a 5th work-from-home day). Their companies allow them to work from home every day. (Of course the nature of their jobs, and the locations of the people they interact with, mean there is essentially no difference in them working in a corporate office building or working remotely.)

 

[zappaa]

LOL, with not having to go into work...unless you're the boss!
Most of my friends get up at 5 am to commute and get home at 8 pm…5 days a week

 

[FanuSanu52]

LOL, with not having to go into work...unless you're the boss!
Most of my friends get up at 5 am to commute and get home at 8 pm…5 days a week

So they know better than anyone how much better it would be to work from home and dump the terrible commute. It's not an unreasonable expectation in many jobs, though I agree it's not something you should demand in an interview. Turns out, all that technology those damn spoiled millennials are playing with all the time is good for work, too.

 

[NotInRHouse]

More and more jobs are allowing people to work from home with better technology. If I can do what I can do at the office, without commuting costs, and with the employers saving rent on space, what is the issue? Seems to me some old grouches want to cost their companies money and their employees times for the sake of " I did it so you have to"

 

[RU205]

More and more jobs are allowing people to work from home with better technology. If I can do what I can do at the office, without commuting costs, and with the employers saving rent on space, what is the issue? Seems to me some old grouches want to cost their companies money and their employees times for the sake of " I did it so you have to"

I worked for companies that didn't allow working from home. I worked for a company that let each employee work from home one day a week. I now work for a company that most employees work from home 2 days a week, but if you need to do it more you can request it. Bottom line. The company sets the policy and the employees follow the rules if they want to keep the job.

 

[FanuSanu52]

I worked for companies that didn't allow working from home. I worked for a company that let each employee work from home one day a week. I now work for a company that most employees work from home 2 days a week, but if you need to do it more you can request it. Bottom line. The company sets the policy and the employees follow the rules if they want to keep the job.

I don't think anyone disagreed with that last part. But it's not unreasonable for someone that has options to look for jobs that offer a work-from-home element. Some of the old-timers here (not you specifically) seem to think that everyone just needs to shut up and just be happy the factory is still churning out product and keeping them employed.